Sanders Blog

Sunday, 23rd April, 2023

Raining and grey this morning. The London Marathon will be wet. Maybe it will dampen the traffic. I am driving up to Surrey to see M who is over from Florida. Must be wishing she wasn’t this morning although seeing me will make up for it. I thrashed her at Wordle last night.We have to drive on the M25 leaving at the M25’s busiest junction – J10. In heavy rain and clouds of spray, it should be fun.

Yesterday Julie arranged a group ‘Selfie’ for me with her and Nigel reunited with their son and his wife on the beach in Bridlington. Lovely photo to receive.

Anyway, the drive up to Surrey was much better than expected. The weather improved and the traffic was quite light. We met up with M back from Florida on a fleeting visit to check on the Geriatrics. She had made us a lovely chicken stew with asparagus, peas and broccoli. Who knew M could cook so well? We had a facetime with K still out in Florida which was nice.

I drank wine at lunch so my Chauffeur had to drive us home. Unfortunately for her, we had a bout of torrential rain and even some hail on the motorway which tested her but I coped with my hands over my eyes. Back home the weather was beautiful sunshine and blue sky. We did an hour’s walk and then got in just in time to watch Man. Utd. in the FA Cup semifinal.

Monday, 24th April, 2023

Gorgeous morning down here on the South Coast. Went out for an early walk. Everywhere trees are now green and fresh, lots of blossom including the inaptly named May Blossom which always arrives in April here. Must be a result of climate change.

Quite a few jobs to do today. Currently, it is dandelion season. I eradicate them as soon as I see them. My neighbour’s lawns are on my agenda today. They will all be sprayed with broad leaved weed killer. The dandelions will disappear in a couple of weeks and long before they can set seed to self-propagate another year. I’m looking after about eight different lawns now. It’s costing me a fortune but I enjoy it. Just exercise in the sunshine is what I need.

This morning the news came through that Len Goodman – I only know of him because I have a friend who watches Come Dancing. – has died of Bone Cancer. How lucky I’ve been to have avoided that. I am in that frame of mind at the moment. It is the I’ve had a cancer scare but it looks as if I’ll get away with it mode. I’m rather taking for granted that everything will turn out alright but, just as I’m thinking, Poor man to find cancer had spread to the bones, a letter drops on the mat.

It is from the Patient Care Co-ordinator of my Surgery. It starts:

Dear John, we are sorry to hear of your recent cancer diagnosis … We can offer you support via the Macmillan Cancer Service.

The whole thing suddenly becomes real again and intrudes into my everyday enjoyment. The other thing is that I was shocked to find Len Goodman was only 6 years older than me. I always thought he was an old man.

I do prefer to take responsibility for my own health and I really like accessing my Records, Appointments, Treatment and Medication on my phone/iPad through the NHS App. Soon we will be able to hold video consultations with GPs and Hospital Consultants instead of travelling to them. This will make the whole process quicker and less demanding on NHS time. I have joined an NHS long term study of the treatment of Prostate Cancer. Let’s hope the description ‘Long Term’ proves accurate.

My little sister, Cathy, who lives about 10 mins drive from me, is celebrating her Wedding Anniversary – actually, I’m not sure which. I wish her and Laurie a happy day.

Tuesday, 25th April, 2023

Another gorgeous morning. We just have to take our happiness where we can. We are going down to the beach and the Fishmongers. I found that the original fish outlet had spelt my name incorrectly but still quite spooky …

M is going back to Florida this morning – lucky girl – and she sent me one, last photo over night attached to her Wordle which beat mine.

The weather is set fair for Summer now. It was quite a cool night but that is likely to be the end and new plants can now be set out down here. Gardening is the order of the next few days to give things time to establish before we go away.

Walked on the beach first. Lovely and quiet. The occasional dog walker and a small knot of school children excitedly discovering what the difference is between sand and pebbles. On to the fish outlet. We normally order online and have it delivered. Quite nice to meet the people in person.

With high temperatures forecast, Kevin is off to Spain during the week. I’m expecting my phone to be flooded with terrible karaoke. Julie is building a cold frame on her allotment. She’ll be screaming by tonight.

Wednesday, 26th April, 2023

Got to book my next, three month, hormone injection which will take me up to the point where I start intensive radiotherapy for a month. I also have to have yet another PSA Test prior to meeting the Consultant in late July. Yesterday, I had two, very serious letters telling me about my radiotherapy and how I would have ‘free access’ to the carparking area for Cancer Patients. I don’t want to think of myself as a Cancer Patient. I’d rather pay for the carpark and be normal.

Unfortunately, the side effects they warned me about with Hormone Treatment have started to surface. I am putting on weight. I’m going to stop eating altogether. I am feeling tired. I’m really having to apply mind over matter to complete my exercise routine. Actually, I’m only managing 9 miles a day at the moment. I’m beginning to have mood swings which is worrying because I am an emotional person anyway. Waking up feeling sad which is daft but I’m finding it hard accepting my position.

Trying to distract myself by paying attention to the garden and, particularly, the Herb Bed. Last year, the first, small herb seedlings were planted and they have already spread quite well. We have Thyme, Oregano, Tarragon, Bay and Sage and Mint. I’m not just growing it to cook with but to construct a colourful carpet effect.

The Sage didn’t do as well as some so I’m trying again with a number of different varieties. They have differing colours, scents and leaf shapes. Like Thyme and Oregano, Sage is a Mediterranean herb which likes hot and dry. Walking in Greece, we trample over herbs like this and release a strong scent. Sheep on the mountainsides feed on wild Thyme and that delivers a wonderfully flavoured meat. I’m growing Parsley from seed because that is an annual anyway.

Can you tell it’s a slow news day, Dear Reader?

Thursday, 27th April, 2023

My Mother, Catherine, died 15 years ago today. I remember the event with great clarity. Her husband, my Father, Eric, had died in 1965 when I was 14. I remember that day with equal clarity. I was shocked in many ways. Shocked embeds itself on the consciousness like nothing else. A staunch Roman Catholic, Mum believed she was going to a better place. As a staunch atheist, I knew where she was really going.

Mum & Dad married in Burton-upon-Trent 74 years ago. Even so, I am a product of them and they are a product of my memories to be remembered and acknowledged.

On this day 11 years ago, we were lunching in the Taverna above. I can tell you we ate Grilled Sea bass and Greek Salad with a chilled bottle of Apelia white wine. It was a trip to start another 6 months in our house and reunite with Greek friends.

In other news, Kevin has flown to Spain this morning and will be now be walking out of Alicante Airport into very bright and quite warm sunshine. He’ll be hitting the Karaoke Bars and having his sort of good time.

I’ve instructed my resident chef to make Rabbit Ragù for Dinner. Made with rabbit joints we bought in France recently, it will be served with asparagus tips and sprouting broccoli for the healthy option. Really looking forward to it.

Friday, 28th April, 2023

Busy day with more clothes orders being collected and/or returned. It is something of a daily ritual now. The new herb plants are going to be put in the raised beds by my gardener this afternoon. I have to mow the lawns for 4 neighbours and I have been thinking about what flowers to put in each one’s cut-out beds in the centre of the lawns.

I’ve decided to give them a splash of bold colour at different heights. I’m going to grow them from seed. Maximum height 24″ and minimum height 6″. A mixture of two Nigella (Love-in-A-Mist) varieties and two Calendula (Marigold) varieties. Hope the neighbours appreciate them.

My neighbours are all amused that I don’t just mow the public space grass outside our houses but weed and feed it and, most importantly for me, I cut the edges so they are straight and neat. I have to have things looking neat and controlled. Nothing wrong with Nature as long as Humans control it. My wife has always told me I am mildly OCD and I think it has got slightly more pronounced with age.

I was reading an article about David Beckham this morning. In it he says that his OCD means that, before he goes to bed at night, he has to tidy the rooms downstairs so he doesn’t face ‘chaos’ in the morning. That is exactly me but I do it throughout the day as well …. for my own peace of mind.

Saturday, 28th April, 2023

Gorgeous, warm and sunny day. We reached 17C/63 yesterday which was lovely. Not, of course the warmth that Kevin is enjoying in Spain but alright for now.

Apart from Kevin in Spain, Julie in her allotment in North Yorkshire and John in his Gallery, there seems to have been a resurgence in popularity for the Lake District. John R. has put his Dinghy back in the water, Dave R. is back up mountains and Sue W. is touring the countryside. Never understood the fascination. I choose sunshine before all else. The Lake District is definitely a NO.

Unfortunately, the Karaoke Tour of Benidorm is also a NO which Kevin finds hard to understand. He is obviously hurt by my rejection but that is how it has to be. I am not up for a lads’ week in English Pubs in Benidorm. I really can’t think of anything worse.

Mind you, I am even less likely to join John R or Dave R in the lake District. In two weeks, I will be in Thessaloniki, the second city of Greece. I can’t wait to hear the Greek language being shouted across the street, to smell the familiar smells of Bougatsa (πογάτσα ) from the oven (Φούρνος) or Souvlakia (σουβλάκι) griddling across the road. All the familiar TV stations belting out absolute rubbish in frenetic Greek babble unnoticed by the owners. The Greek tradition is to never turn the TV off but never watch it – in fact, sit with your back to it at all times.

My next door neighbour, whose firm built my house, is desperate to buy a property on Skiathos where he likes to holiday. I have spent some time with him this morning advising him how to go about it.

This evening, after a hard and long Gym workout, we had Dinner in the Garden. It was warm and Sunny. My Chef cooked Courgette and Sea Bass Fritters with Garlic Sauce. It was served with a Green salad and eaten in the fresh air. Lovely! soon we’ll be doing that it Greece.

I’ve included my photo and I apologise for that. I’m not as drunk as I look. In fact, I’ve not even started on the red wine but I had to show Kevin that you don’t need to go to Spain for a good time.

Sunday, 16th April, 2023

We don’t fly to Thessaloniki until the middle of May but I’ve just Checked-In and received my Boarding Passes on my phone’s Easyjet App..

Suddenly realised that we fly out of Gatwick North Terminal and return to Gatwick South Terminal. Only noticed while booking the Airport Carpark. That’ll be a bit annoying.

We have to get the inter-terminal shuttle train and then a shuttle bus to the carpark around midnight …. and then drive over an hour home. Still there’s always pain with the pleasure.

Ordered the Kindle from Amazon yesterday afternoon. Delivered this morning. Now to set it up and download my Housekeeper’s Library. Only about 500 titles. If they haven’t got the word Love in the title, they are rejected. I don’t know what she’s trying to tell me but it’s essential bedtime reading.

Monday, 17th April, 2023

We all have to look our best on this wonderful day. Sunny and warm but I’m having my haircut. I find it hard to sit still for so long. No pictures because I wouldn’t want to dazzle you with my beauty but if, you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.

Before going out walking, I have to check how much we’ve got in Euros for our trip to France on Wednesday. I’m not really sure why we always have so many Euros in the safe but we never sell them back to the bank because that is the way to lose money. Anyway, notes and a kilo of coins comes to circa €3000.00 which will do for this week.

Walking in the sunshine makes such a difference. Sunshine seems to link the elements together and make fresh air worthwhile. I love it. Sunshine makes me happy.

The last couple of days have been a nightmare. The flush on the downstairs toilet has broken. I’m constantly having to climb the stairs. Today, our plumber texted to say he would come round with a replacement unit. Half an hour later and £120.00 lighter, I have quick relief. My Housekeeper watched him like a hawk. I won’t need a plumber next time. The replacement unit is only £21.00 from Amazon and my Housekeeper is ‘free’. She will be able to do the job herself. Everybody has their uses.

Been wonderfully warm today. We reached 16C/61F. Still comfortable by 6.00 pm this evening. Summer is definitely around the corner.

Tuesday, 18th April, 2023

Up early and out early driving the three miles to sunny Rustington. Eye Tests before 9.00 am. No change, no cataracts, no new glasses. If anything, my short sight has slightly improved.

Everywhere was incredibly quiet on the roads and in the shops. I like it. Rustington is an attractive small town particularly in the sunshine.

Got to clean the car and prepare it for France with an even earlier start tomorrow. The car fridge has to be installed and necessities for legally driving in France – First Aid Kit, Breathalyser, Fluorescent Jackets, UK Sticker, etc..

Finally, because we are in a new car, we have had to apply for a new vehicle emissions sticker for the windscreen. It is cheap and simple to buy this online and it comes in the post very quickly. It is another matter mounting the certificate in the windscreen. We have had three for the last few cars and this is the first one we’ve got right.

Walking this afternoon was quite chilly. There is a breeze with an edge. Still, done my 9 miles for the day.

Wednesday, 19th April, 2023

Up at 5.00 am and out at 6.00 am. Beautiful morning to be driving. Got to the Tunnel early. Went across an hour early and off to Auchan in Coquelles.

This was just a shopping trip and it was lovely to source things we had missed – Duck and Rabbit, Saucisson and Pâté, gorgeous tomatoes and lettuces, garlic and onions.

On to the wine – 48 bottles of still wine plus 24 bottles of Champagne – about £1000.00 plus 2 bottles of perfume – £70.00 and a few extra litres of red wine smuggled and unchecked at the border. Then on to Cité Europe  and more shopping.

We walked the shopping complex. I was looking for glass wine decanters and my Housekeeper wanted white, porcelain side plates. Neither of us got what we wanted. Such is life.

Before we left, I had somewhere to go. Absolute necessity at my time of life. It provided my favourite photograph of the day.

Thursday, 20th April, 2023

Woke up late on a glorious morning. Didn’t get up until 7.15 am. Around 5 hours driving and 8 miles walking yesterday left me tired. It was nice to ‘break out’ though and we will do it again in a few weeks if the medical situation allows.

First, I have completed the arrangements for a short trip to Thessaloniki in just under 4 weeks. These days, the use of Executive Lounges is so popular that it is necessary to pre-book even if we have automatic passes. This is because the admission numbers are finite. A couple of times we’ve turned up and been refused admission so I take no chances now.

In fact, although we will be there at 4.00 am, our first choice – No. 1 Lounge – is already fully booked between 4.00 am – 5.00 am. I’ve had to choose Plaza Premium instead. I’m sure it will be fine.

Out to the Garden Centre which was looking lovely in brilliant sunshine. I was going to buy herbs Oregano, Thyme, Sage, Basil, and Parsley plants. It is time to get them in and growing away. Doing a first cut of the remaining lawns this afternoon.

Friday, 21st April, 2023

A bit of a nervous day today. I have been summoned to a meeting at the Oncology Department of Worthing Hospital. It may be routine but it maybe something more sinister. The only information I have had, since my skeletal scan, was through my online medical records. I Googled the results and deduced that the cancer hadn’t gone beyond the prostate and into the bones. I hope this meeting is just to confirm my amateur research.

Going out for a walk to take my mind off it and to think through the information I will need to ask for while I am there. I have a second hormone injection to come at the end of June and I need to know when the month of radiotherapy will begin. I need to know how it will affect me as well. The other thing I want to ask is about an additional note from the radiographer:

Presumed degenerative tracer uptake is noted in the axial and
appendicular skeleton e.g. cervical spine, knees, ankles and feet.

I take this to mean that the scan showed bone degeneration in areas that one might expect in a 72 year old man. I have to know if it is ‘normal’ and whether my exercise routine is helping or accelerating that degeneration.

One of the things I have to do in preparation for flying, is to download Boarding Passes on to our smartphones and the iPads, and phones have to be charged so that Border Force staff can check them if required. Something that won’t turn on and boot up can be confiscated.

I like to have a reserve power source to charge up anything that is failing. The last Power Bank I used is probably still plugged in to a wall of the Electra Palace Hotel, Athens which is where I left it last September. I ordered a new one this morning. It holds enough power to recharge two phones and two iPads

Saturday, 22nd April, 2023

Up at 3.30 am. Couldn’t sleep. Yesterday ended so well that I can hardly believe it and I woke thinking about it. It seems stupid to say I’m feeling incredibly lucky – I have cancer. – but I’m feeling incredibly lucky.

Yesterday evening I was ‘invited’ to meet the Consultant Oncologist – Ashok Nikapota. He turned out to be the most delightful man both from what I found out about him and the news he delivered to me.

One of my great failings/strengths is my interest in people and their lives. I can’t stop myself trying to find out about them when we meet. I have developed the ability to elicit life stories from people in minutes. I find them absolutely fascinating. It turned out that Ash, originally from Sri Lanka, had been to Sifnos where we built a house and spent 6 months each year. He knew where our house was and loved the port. We are flying to Thessaloniki in three weeks and so is he. I love opera and so, it turns out does he. We had stuff in common which was wonderful.

Essentially, the news he delivered was that the treatment process I was following – six months of hormone treatment to shrink the prostate followed by a month of intensive radiotherapy would give me a 90% success rate of being cancer free at the end. I think I can settle for that. Actually, I couldn’t believe it. Drove straight home and opened a bottle of Champagne. It never tasted better! I immediately felt the need to tell people. I phoned my brother, Bob, who also has prostate cancer and then contacted my friends. It felt as if telling others made it more real. Now I can shut up about it.

To celebrate, I’ve order a new wine decanter. I ordered it this morning from Amazon and it will be delivered this afternoon by 3.00 pm. Love the Amazon Prime service.

Sunday, 9th April, 2023

Early sea mist has been burnt off to reveal a lovely day. Generally, religious festivals annoy me. I don’t celebrate them and those who do expect everything else to stop for them. Now Christianity is a minority interest in UK, I would expect the country not to stop for these ridiculous obsessions.

Kevin contacted me from his bike out in the Yorkshire sunshine yesterday. This morning, he is swearing that the South-centric BBC are telling everyone it is hotter than Greece but it is ‘freezing’ in Yorkshire. I told him, when I had found a shady place to rest out of the Mediterranean weather and wiped the sunscreen from my hands to use my phone, he should consider taking up ice skating. He seemed to take it quite well.

Been out for an hour’s walk this morning and will do a second this afternoon. Probably watch Liverpool v Arsenal later. I’m pleased that the predicted tiredness I was warned would accompany my hormone treatment has not materialised yet. Maybe it will but I will continue to fight it. I’m not sure what effect a month of radiotherapy will have on me but that won’t be until September.

We sold our Duplex Apartment in Surrey 7 years ago this week for double its purchase price after 5 years of ownership. We sold it to a lady from Australia whose husband had died and she was returning to her children and her homeland. She bought all our furniture because she brought none with her. We were pleased to start again in our new house down here. It had done the job while we in Greece for half the year.

Yesterday, we found the property was back on the market at a price which was less than we sold it for. We had kept in contact with her until 18 months ago but she is now in a Dementia facility. The speed of that decline is quite shocking!

I have written before of my love of the Pre-Raphaelites. I think it began with an amalgam of my first University Degree and research into the basis of Left Wing Politics which developed at the same time as the BBC showed an influential, dramatic series called The Love School in 1975.

It was Dante Gabriel Rossetti who first appealed to me. His Italian roots and his love of Jane, his model, just hooked me. The symbolism of his paintings and the romanticism of his subjects were what I craved. As I began my University education, I found William Morris for his Socialist politics rather than his paintings and John Ruskin for his philosophy.

Soon after getting married, I began to buy Pre-Raphaelite prints and feature them on the walls of our house. Eventually, I had dozens of them and others who illustrated the progression of the movement which largely ended with Whistler. I always majored in Rossetti and this painting on the right has always been my favourite. His beloved Jane – William Morris’ wife – is portrayed rich with sensual, sexual symbolism.

Rossetti’s Proserpine, like his model Jane, is an exquisitely beautiful woman, with delicate facial features, slender hands, and flawlessly pale skin set off by her thick raven hair. She is based on Persephone, queen of the underworld to which she disappears in Winter only to resurface with Nature’s regrowth in Spring. She is on show at the Tate in London until the end of September in The Rossettis | Tate Britain.

Monday, 10th April, 2023

Apparently it is a Bank Holiday today. All that means is there are less facilities available and the weather worsens. I was going to spend the day on the beach, sunbathing, but ….

Instead, I’m going to Sainsburys. Fair swap? Back home, I’m going to dream of better things , maybe talk to people who want to talk to me and look to explore car ferries across to Spain and Villas for rental in Aguilas or Puerto de Mazarrón, Murcia where our friends had a property. Pre-requisites are Private Pool, Wi-Fi, Satellite TV, air-con and washing machine.

There are plenty of properties to choose from but the quality is not great. My rule of thumb is not to rent one which is less than I have at home. What’s the point?

Most of these villas would cost about £4,000 – £5000 per month which is quite good value. We have to add to that the ferry crossing which takes about 33 hours and will cost about £1200. We might split the drive across Spain in two and have a hotel in Zaragoza which will add a bit more. Over all, it will cost us about £7,000 for the month.

We will, of course, have a villa that sleeps 6 so there will be room for friends. Can’t think of who to invite at the moment. Answers on a postcard.

Tuesday, 11th April, 2023

Always keep your options open, Dear Reader and think three times before finally deciding. Having contacted the Cancer Clinic this morning, I have had to rethink the Summer. The dates for a major intervention are not fixed so neither can be my travel plans be.

A Spanish drive may have to be in the Winter or Spring next year. So, Dear Reader, if you were hoping to take up some of the beds in our rented house, put your plans on hold. We are thinking again for this Summer. One wag this morning suggested we holiday in Anglesey. I’d rather stick pins in my eyes. Welsh weather and comfort do not compute. Anglesey is for the wrinkly and aged. I am going to stay young and vigorous for as long as possible.

I am now looking at a more controlled and time-flexible, driving trip down the French coast. You can still come with us, Dear Reader, but it will entail stops in Orleans and Toulouse. We stayed in the Mercure Orleans on the banks of the Loire a few years ago and really enjoyed it.

Three or four days driving via Orleans, Bordeaux and Toulouse where we will stay at the Novotel will see us at Marseille -the drugs and gangster capital of the South of France.

I love driving through Europe. It feels so liberating and empowering. We can go for as long as we want or as short as the medical intervention dates dictate.

We’ve always wanted to visit Marseille. It is the interface between France and French Dependencies in Northern Africa like Algeria, Tunisia and Morocco. Exotic, exciting and indulgent.

I am pleased to report that I am now back up to an average of 9 miles a day over the past month. It has been an struggle but I am nothing if not determined. Next stop – back to 10 miles a day.

Wednesday, 12th April, 2023

Lovely, sunny and warm morning although we are expecting strong winds later. Out for an early walk which takes us past the Community Centre, through the park which is popular with dog walkers and down through a housing development to our home.

Angmering is quite a proud and attractive village. Angmering in Bloom is a volunteer organisation which works throughout the year to maintain and enhance the environment. Local businesses sponsor their activities which include public gardening. Plants and bulbs are provided by the four, local Garden Centres and all around the area, little pockets of planting are displayed like this one on our walk.

Each year the village is judged by the Britain in Bloom organisation and Angmering regularly wins County sections at least. Angmering is twinned with Ouistreham on the Normandy coast. Purposeful, proud Europeans. Maybe this is because of its high proportion of Middle Class House owners with relatively high disposable incomes. Certainly, Angmering is a comfortable place to retire to.

On our walk, we pass the well-used children’s play area which has swings and stuff. Today, Grandparents, with coffees in one hand and phones in the other were barely supervising little kids on swings and slides, scooters and bikes. It must be quite demanding these days to be a parent of a parent. Childcare is almost obligatory. I do wonder how long it takes for the charm of the role to wear off.

My friend, Kevin, in North Yorkshire took his grand kids to the cinema yesterday and sent me a snap of his experience. They went to see Super Mario which is based on a computer game. He said, “Cool 3 year old wearing 3D glasses. Terrible film but they enjoyed it.” 

My housekeeper and resident seamstress told me yesterday that her sewing machine was failing. A few hours research with advice from friends in Saddleworth and New York and a new, Bernina machine was ordered. It should arrive on Friday and I can have my shorts put back together!

Thursday, 13th April, 2023

Gorgeous morning down here. Got Dentist and Blood Test appointments so going out for an early walk. Before that, I’ve had to put together a pdf of lawncare advice for my next door neighbour. He’s called Jason. At 6.30 am, I was constructing the document, attached it to an email and fired it off. I asked Jason if he got it and he hadn’t. I’d sent lawncare advice to a Joiner called Jason who we once used years ago.

I must contact 10 people every day by Text, Whatsapp and Email. It helps if you’ve got the right contact details. Every evening, I do Wordle. It’s quite good fun and only takes 5 minutes but I send mine to M&K in Florida. They do theirs just before bed – around 3.00 am in UK – and I pick it up in the morning. Wordle is done through the New York Times by millions of people each day. Yesterday the word was BORAX. Fortunately, M&K are too young to have any knowledge of it. I wonder if you remember it, Dear Reader. It chimed only distantly in my memory banks but my Laundry Woman well remembered her Mother using it.

My sister, Jane Georghiou, runs and runs and runs and …. This week she has been running in Poland in the World Masters Indoor Championships. She, of course, was chosen for the one outdoor event – the half Marathon through Polish streets in the rain but she did get a silver medal. At the age of 71, she puts me to shame.

This morning I’ve heard from Kevin and Julie about their daily plans. In 1975, I was living alone in a hovel in Oldham, Lancashire. You don’t get much more show biz than that! I started going out with a girl who eventually became my Housekeeper. Her good friend at the time was Diane who worked in the Craft Block of our school. She is a seamstress.

Today, by accident, Pauline caught Diane’s name on her iPad and it began dialling her Facebook connection. Within seconds, Diane’s face was in our kitchen rolling back the years. We had missed them in New York by one day and, a few months later, her husband was dead of a brain tumour. It was nice to reconnect and really underlines the importance of meeting people from the past face-to-face. It means so much.

Lovely trip to the dentist today. She is Persian and absolutely gorgeous. I got so many cuddles during my consultation that, if I hadn’t invited them, it could have been construed as sexual harassment. Of course, at my age that’s not a crime but a benefit to be enjoyed. How sad are old men?

Friday, 14th April, 2023

Cold and wet today. Depressingly dark and gloomy. Received a postcard (Remember them?) from my old, Saddleworth friend, Caroline. She is in the Yorkshire Dales visiting places that I haven’t been back to since 1969. When I write things like that, a cold wind of horror runs through me. 1969!! I was just starting at Ripon College – a girls, C. of E. Training College. The Induction Week saw us packed on to coaches and taken round the Historical (Religious) Highlights of the Dales.

Bolton Abbey, Rievaulx Abbey, Byland Abbey, Fountains Abbey are places that an 18 year old lad surrounded by lots of similar age girls was not particularly interested in. Being on a coach with them was more interesting than getting off to walk round ancient buildings. My experience was particularly interesting as I was gripped by the hand of fate.

In old age, I would like to say that these positions have been reversed but I wouldn’t be being completely honest. I’m still not into ancient buildings.

Saturday, 15th April, 2023

The middle of April already. Much better weather today. Went out for an early walk. It is incredible what goes on in our neighbourhood on a Saturday morning. The Rugby Club nearby had hundreds of kids – girls & boys of all ages playing matches on multiple pitches. Adults giving up their time to train them, referee them and support them. Would I have done that? I might.

Up the road on more pitches scores of kids are playing and training for football. No wonder we see so little crime around here. They’re all too knackered to cause trouble. And then I came across this outside the Community Centre and thought I was going to be proved wrong. A police car was in attendance and there was a knot of kids on the carpark. Fight? Break-in? Drug Dealing? No, just Cycling Proficiency Courses being offered by the local Constabulary. Calm is restored at Home!

Chatted to Kevin, Julie and John R this morning first thing. Julie’s growing Comfrey. I have no idea why. John R has lost his hedgehog. Can’t have gone far. And Kevin was reminding me about the time, just as I was finally leaving College in 1972, when I ran an English Language Course for Dutch teachers. Kevin has a Dutch friend and has an amusing anecdote about the Dutch. I didn’t tell him that the last days of College were not happy ones for me.

Going to France on a shopping trip on Wednesday. Eurotunnel are obviously struggling to get custom in these straightened times. They contacted me this morning offering £55.00 each way crossings so I couldn’t resist. Better shopping in Auchan than Sainsburys!

My Housekeeper has been reading books on Amazon Kindle since 2010. She ditched books – saved us carrying them to Greece for six months – and downloads them for free in the hundreds. The Kindle is the most amazing piece of technological kit. You can drop it and it has no effect.

They last years without a problem. There have been one or two improvements over the past 13 years but, basically, they just do the job of being lightweight books. You can carry around hundreds of books at a time without trouble. Download them in minutes and store them for years. Today we ordered her the latest edition for just over £200.00. Who could complain?

Gorgeous evening – 16C/61F – just right for a walk and talk. The Summer is coming! Let’s hope we get there.

Sunday, 2nd April, 2023

A grey start to the day although the forecast is for wall-to-wall sunshine as the rest of the week develops. Been a busy start in communications. Every morning at 6.00 am I pick up an email from M in Florida. She’s not been in bed for long when I read it. Most mornings, Kevin checks in on Whatsapp. Yesterday was Chris’s birthday and I sent an e-card. Kevin was up and in touch around 9.30 am. By then, I had already had a Text from Liz who is staying in a hotel near the Brandenburg Gate. She had been reading the Blog and was pleased about my recent news.

I must admit that, although I am a committed European, I am not particularly desperate to holiday in Germany. I don’t like the language and find it difficult to read. I am much more comfortable with the Romance languages of French/Italian/Spanish. I am not keen on the coarseness of German food and I don’t get their humour at all. We’ve flirted with/driven through Germany a number of times en route to Greece and that is enough for me.

Watched the early morning political programmes as normal on Sunday. They are my religion. Braverman was typically obnoxious although I’m sure she appeals to the Tories baseline racist Right and the rampant Xenophobes. Dave Roberts and John Morris contacted me almost immediately afterwards to express their disgust with her. Braverman comes across as a deeply dislikeable person and not terribly bright or articulate.

The day just improved with lovely, warm sunshine and we did two, long walks. I’ve managed 9 miles today. Just had a lovely WhatsApp message from Michelle across the road offering all support while I am in treatment and recovering. Some people are so lovely.

Monday, 3rd April, 2023

Exactly 14 years ago today, we retired after long and protracted negotiations for a financial package. My friend, John Ridley, retired on exactly the same day. It was the most wonderful feeling and now seems so long ago and frighteningly near as well.

It was one of those relieving and frightening moments of one’s life when all responsibilities are suddenly thrown off but Life momentarily appears empty. The routines of working life took years to be erased from my system and my dreams were populated by concerns that had featured in my career. Even now, I can see the corridors of stress, the Inspectors arrival, the expectations of success, the meaningless policy papers, endless meetings and pointless resolutions.

Now, at 14 years distance, one of the things that really saddens me is the state of the buildings I worked in for 38 years from the pagoda- style, former Board School, 1885 building in Derker where I was Head, to the former Grammar School building which opened in 1951 with its dreadfully leaky and drafty, metal-framed windows. I worked in relative squalor all that time.

I had appallingly cramped offices and cold classrooms all of which were hard to keep clean. I introduced computers and the internet to Counthill School, eventually a campus-wide wi-fi network, on-line registration, school intranet and home-school teaching and learning systems. Every inch of that way was hard and resisted by many staff who were scared of the new. Can you imagine people wanting to resist new technology?

The new school is like a comparative dream. Built with integrated technology, smart screens, wi-fi throughout, large, purpose designed classrooms, offices large enough to work in, good heating and air conditioning, lecture theatres and all-weather sports fields.

Tuesday, 4th April, 2023

Woken up to find myself still alive on this gorgeous day of cloudless blue sky and strong sunshine. No need to drive to school. I’m retired. It is going to be a gardening day.

Went to the Garden Centre yesterday and bought some seeds and bags of soil. I am going to spend the morning preparing the raised beds for sowing seeds.

Sharing gardening activities with my Allotment friend, Julie. I’m just playing at it while she’s seriously growing her food on a large scale. We did all that years ago when we had an acre of garden and installed formal deep beds for vegetables.

Teachers’ Pensions are uprated by 10.1% this month although we don’t feel the effect of it until our May pay. Even so, one of the good things about Teachers’ Pensions is they are index-linked and keep pace with inflation in perpetuity. I spoke to Kevin about it this morning. He had no knowledge of it. It always amazes me that intelligent people are so unaware of these things.

An hour’s walk in the sunshine. Two hours gardening and another hour’s walk in hot (well 13C/56F) sunshine and I’m completely knackered. They say that the treatment program I’m on will make me tired in the afternoons. I am not prepared to acknowledge that but I’m feeling tired this afternoon and in need of comfort.

Wednesday, 5th April, 2023

Nice morning. Going out for an early walk because I’ve got a busy day. My sister, Cathy, is coming round for coffee. Had to source Vegan Biscuits just for her. Can you imagine it? I didn’t know there were such things. I didn’t really know what Veganism actually involved.

Basically, it means no animal-based products – no meat, dairy, or fish. Only plant-based products. What do they wear on their feet? Leather shoes? I’m going to find out today.

I love my Memory Box. It throws up so much that I’ve forgotten and brings it back to life. On this day in 2009, we were in our second day of retirement and had just landed at Ellinikon International Airport – the old and now demolished Athens Airport – to find our ferry to the island had been cancelled. We had to get a hotel quickly and went to the Electra Hotel on Ermou Street. We had to fight our way through a noisy demonstration in favour of sacked workers in front of the parliament. The next morning, on my 58th birthday, we were off to our island house.

In 2012, we were living in Woking, Surrey during the winter months. A woman and her son bought a duplex apartment across from ours. The son, Lawrence, was a chef in an upmarket restaurant in the city. The mother, we soon learnt, had cancer. She was in her late 50s and worked from home. She wasn’t very friendly or communicative but she sat outside and worked in the sunshine.

Things happened quite quickly. Lawrence’s mother suddenly disappeared. We later learned she was in a hospice and then, on this day in 2014, this floral tribute appeared outside their apartment. She was gone. Later that year, Lawrence sold the property and moved on with his life. His mother lives on only in his memories and ours. And so life goes.

Thursday, 6th April, 2023

My little sister, Cathy, arrived an hour early yesterday afternoon. I nearly turned her away but relented because we hadn’t seen each other for quite a while. Actually, it was lovely. We talked over coffee for a couple of hours. It almost always comes down to the dysfunctional relations of family which ultimately results in humour and tears. We parted vowing to meet more often in the future however much there is of it. I am acutely aware of the significance of renewing my relationships now. This morning, she sent me Birthday greetings which was nice.

It was much warmer and sunnier on this day last year. I don’t think we will be eating Lunch in the garden today.

I have joined the club of old, wrinkly people. I am 72 today. So many lovely people have sent me best wishes … and some not so lovely. I’ve had best wishes from a girl who I first met in 1973 and I haven’t seen for around 20 years. Ex-pupil, Marie, wrote: Happy Birthday, Sir. Best Teacher Ever. XXX !!! The fact that she’s in her 60s and still calls me Sir is neither here nor there. Ex-pupil Emma sent me love and kisses. Sue from Oldham did as well. Sue in France wished me, Joyeux Anniversaire. Sue in Gozo, Malta sent me best wishes.

Had good wishes from P&C in Surrey, A&K in Florida, Bob in Maidenhead, Ruth in Bolton, Kevin, Julie, John R., John M. in North Yorkshire, the lovely Julia in York, Peter Holgate in Knaresborough, Kevin Sellers in Ulverston, Dave Weatherly in Bolton, Charlotte and Lindsay from school. Fiza defied the wrath of her Muslim husband to send me her love. Even heard from Hilary-Jane for those old enough to remember. With time running out, it is good to reconnect as often as possible before the light fades.

Trying to stay positive but short term at the moment. Considering properties in Aguilas, Murcia which are easily drivable to from here with just one stop. Property is so cheap compared with Greece and Italy. This villa sleeping 6 people with pool, air con. and wi-fi is just £900.00 per week. Cheaper than living at home and with additional sunshine. Worth considering maybe for the month of July.

As with all good birthdays, the sun came out and the air was gorgeously warm. Did two, long walks in the sunshine and planned out more trips abroad to the sun. Our poor neighbours are away for an Easter break in Skiathos during some of the worst Greek weather for a while. They will certainly be clean when they get home!

Friday, 7th April, 2023

A gorgeous day to reflect on connections and coincidences down at the Pier. The sun is strong and hot. It’s nice down here on the South Coast. We came down here 7 years ago almost accidentally. Having left a Greek island, my Housekeeper craved the sound of the sea and this is where she chose. Quite coincidentally, it is 5 miles from where one of my sisters has lived for nearly 40 years and 15 miles from where my maternal Grandfather was born. My Mother’s cousins had a number of Antique shops along the South Coast. None of these things occurred to me until later.

Worthing Pier looks very ordinary from the opening. It has a Theatre and some tacky tourist shops. My Grandfather, from an Irish emigree family, was born in Brighton in 1894 and told tall tales of diving off Brighton Pier as a young lad for coins thrown by tourists. In later life, having worked in London throughout his career, he dressed in his trademark bowler hat and Dicky Bow and opened an Antiques shop in our village of Repton in Derbyshire.

So, by coincidence, we are down here after having lived in Huddersfield for 40 years. Our Pier has had a multi-million pound redevelopment and now looks quite good when you get on it. A new restaurant has opened at the end and is starting to get great reviews. I thought I’d look up when it was built and I found that it arrived in the mid 19th century and was designed by Robert Rawlinson. Nothing particularly special about him although he came from Chorley in Lancashire but he married a girl called Ruth (my sister’s name) from Lockwood in Huddersfield just a short spit from where we lived for 40 years.

Piers are strange places and being on one is to transport one’s self out into the sea, Looking over the edge, many are given to the awful temptation to throw themselves into the watery unknown. It is strange how that happens. I get it when I’m crossing the Aegean and looking over the ferry railings. Piers are derived from Peter, The Rock, and first arrived in the early 19th century. They certainly have rather an anachronistic feeling when I’m on one. They probably say the same about me!

Saturday, 8th April, 2023

Gloriously warm and sunny day. Easter weekend in UK. Greek Easter is next weekend. We spent some 30 Easters in Greece where it is the equivalent to Christmas. Lamb is roasted by some on Saturday – all day in the bread oven – and eaten at the midnight feast. Our cultural rhythms are still set to that sway.

Before we went out into the warm sunshine and down to the beach, my chef started the process of slow cooking a leg of lamb with garlic and rosemary. The vacuum robots were started on their tasks upstairs and downstairs and we were free to indulge ourselves in the season.

We drove down to Littlehampton – about 10 mins away – and parked up. We walked down to the Marina to join the Easter crowds promenading (βολτα) along the Marina/Beach path.

It is school holidays which means the Funfair is open and parents can let their troubles while away some time in fantasy land. I have to admit, it all looks and feels very ‘tacky’ to me but each to his own.

Back home, we ate salad in the sunshine and I did something I rarely do. I drank a bottle of beer. No ordinary beer, of course. It was one from Northern France – Houle du Blanc Nez – Surf of the White Nose. The White Nose is a cliff pointing out to sea. It is brewed in Wissant and delicious.

The tools of my trade are words. they always have been. It is something I owe to my Mother. I love words, sounds of words, meanings and their origins. I love the concepts that they paint and the ideas that they help to construct. I love communication. It is one of the few things I am good at. I am often shocked by the power my words have on others.

I sent a letter of Coincidences & Connections to a number of friends yesterday. I was absolutely shocked by the emotion of their responses. They shared it with their wives and read it to their Mothers. It obviously touched a nerve, resonated with a memory, evoked an emotion which builds up in all of us. I have that ability with words to move others. If there is any time to talk it is now before the going down of the sun. To hold back because of reservation will make it too late.

Sunday, 27th March, 2023

Hope you’re up … although there’s little incentive this morning. The weather is as wet as Wales. I was awake at 5.30 am. All the clocks advanced an hour apart from the oven and the coffee maker.

Watched the political programme this morning in which the Tories announced more gimmicks concerning Assylum Seekers and Offenders. Put one lot in prison camps and the other lot in prison fatigues to perform social reparations. Neither are serious policies. Today, they are announcing ‘trials’ of policies which will never see the full light of day. These are the actions of the flailing government in the dying days of power.

We decided to drive to sunny Bognor Regis or as royalty actually described it, Bugger Bognor. Of course, today it was looking at its worst. It really makes our seaside town look fantastic in comparison. It was very warm but grey and wet.

Even sheltering under the pier, the drips came down on us. On the promenade, great swathes of men – 20 – 40 somethings – were walking by as if taking the air after a lads weekend Saturday Night. Not that I’ve ever been on one. The whole concept appals me. They seemed as subdued as the weather.

Monday, 28th March, 2023

The day before the day. Haven’t quite got to grips with the time shift. Didn’t get up until 7.30 although I woke at 5.00 am and listened to the news as I drifted in and out of dreams.

Tomorrow at 1.00 pm, I will go to Chichester Hospital and look for the Nuclear Medicine Department. There I will be injected with a radioactive material into a vein. The substance travels through the blood to the bones and organs. As it wears off, it gives off radiation. This radiation is detected by a camera that slowly scans the body.

Between the injection and the scan, I have to wait three hours for the nuclear glow to spread itself around my body. Ultimately, I will literally be glowing with unhealth. Can’t wait. If you want a bright hug, you know where to come.

Lovely and warm and sunny today. Been out for an early walk – did about 5 miles – through the Park and beyond. Kids in school. Adults out at work. The park is quiet and empty. Actually, on the way back, a lady stopped me and said, Could I just say (What on earth is going to come next?) that I think you’re doing so well. For the past year and a half I’ve been watching you walking past my house every day. You never give up. You must feel so much better for it. It’s a bit of a shock to think I am being observed so closely. If only she knew what an awful man I am, eh Reader.

Tuesday, 29th March, 2023

The day arrived at 4.30 am. In spite of so many well wishes, it feels lonely and blank. It is a day to retreat in to myself. Been out for a 5 mile walk – wet and cold.

Just arriving at a hospital makes you feel ill. Where are your friends? Who is there to say, You will be OK.? The first job is to find the right place. Walk through the hospital, past the waiting men …

…. and on to the Nuclear Department. It is enough to strike fear into anyone.

After a short wait, a lovely girl takes me into her room for an injection of nuclear material. I am released for 3 hours to roam the world without concern. Although, I am very concerned. I drive to Sainsburys superstore nearby and have a (revolting) sandwich for lunch and about 4 cups of coffee. Two hours later, I drive back to the hospital and walk back to the Nuclear Department. Very shortly, I am ushered into the radioactive scanner room.

I have my legs tied together and the scanner closes down on my body. The first scan begins. As it does, I realise that the lovely girl is playing Classic FM. Irony of ironies, a string quartet begins to play Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. I have died and gone to ….

I couldn’t believe it. The tears streamed down my face behind the mask. It’s strange but the radiologist, Jane, understood completely.

She was a an aficionado of Cohen and knew all the lyrics. We talked about our experiences briefly and I left. Driving home in the rush hour rain, things returned to normal-ish.

I reached out to people to try and make life seem normal. I even did Wordle and sent it to M&K.

Wedesday, 29th March, 2023

It was a strange day and I was too preoccupied with my own events to remember to mark the fact that it was my sister, Jane’s birthday yesterday. I hope she enjoyed her day. In her new, West Yorkshire home.

Two walks today because the weather is warm and dry. It is so warm that the morning opened with a thick mist illuminated by a ghostly sun.

This afternoon I have to go for a hormone injection which should last 3 months and shrink the prostate and the cancer. Anyone available as a stand-in? Kevin would but it’s a long drive. The hormone shrinks the prostate and the cancer with it. Unfortunately, it brings on the Menopause with attendant hot flushes and mood swings.

Thursday, 30th March, 2023

A lot of shopping this morning. A lot of shopping! Tesco, Lidl and Asda for items selected by my resident researcher. Warm but grey morning with weak sun breaking through. The Beach Road was quiet and so was the beach.

The breeze was strong enough to interest this lad with his wind surfing although his girlfriend can only look on.

We are in the penultimate day of March and in the middle of the astrological phase of Aries. Now I don’t believe in Gods, Fate, or Astrology. I don’t believe in anything which is not empirically justified. But I am constantly shocked as I grow older. I always believed in the primacy of Nurture over Nature particularly when Eugenics had some currency but, as I’ve grown older, I have been shocked to see the strength of the effects of Nature on human generation.

Who could take astrology seriously? Certainly not me. It has always been something to be scoffed at on a par with Fortune Tellers and Palmists. However, I am approaching a birthday which makes me an Aries and I cannot believe how closely I fit the personality traits of that star sign. Aries Man is:

• A Leader
• Strong & Bold
• Trailblazer & Innovator
• Impulsive
• Very Impatient
• Self-Centered
• Competitive and Ambitious
• Short-Tempered & Honest

If you wanted to describe me accurately, you have it right there. Against all my better instincts, you have me right there – for good or ill – in that list. Perhaps not sure about the Self-Centered but I can’t argue with the rest.

Friday, 31st March, 2023

A horrible day of strong winds and driving rain with standing water on the roads. I’m going to be in the Gym a lot today.

I am trying to stay healthy and maintain my fitness. Fresh orange juice and porridge for Breakfast. No Lunch. Sea Bass and Salad for Dinner with no wine. I am increasingly drinking plant-based milks. I have no idea why other than I like them and they are relatively low in calories.

I am told that this hormone treatment will leave me feeling tired and listless. I am determined not to capitulate to that and I will continue to push myself hard. Otherwise, I might as well lie down and die!

Twelve years ago today, we signed for the purchase of a new-build, duplex apartment in Surrey which marked our exit from the North of England after 39 years.

It allowed us to have a lock-up-and-go property in UK as well as a house in Greece. It made our drive across Europe easier, quicker and cheaper.

Just 7 years ago this week, we had sold our Greek property and our Surrey property and were moving into our new-build Sussex home. We sold the Surrey property for double the price we paid for it to a lady called Pauline from Australia. We have stayed in touch and she is still there and loving it. That makes us feel good.

Saturday, 1st April, 2023

Happy new month to all Blog readers. Hope it turns out to be a good time for you all. Maybe, it will be a good month for me too.

I can hardly believe it. Yesterday, at 2.30 pm, my Patients Know Best website informed me that the cancer had NOT SPREAD TO THE BONE!!!! I can’t believe it. I have prepared myself for the worst for so long that this news is almost unbelievable.

It is actually quite strange, I get this information unmoderated in real time just as my consultant and my GP get them. I have to research the significance of the results before I speak to a medic at all. What on earth does:
No osteoblastic metastases actually mean? Thank goodness for Google.

Within minutes, I had heard from Kevin, Julie, John, Jason and Bob, from P&C and M&K sharing their love and congratulations. I must admit, I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or controlled. Didn’t know whether it was good news or slightly less bad news. However, it is news. It seems to me that I can have some hope. I hope, Dear Reader, that you will share that with me.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone …

The rain stopped, the clouds parted and the sun shone warmly this afternoon. Went for a walk and I’ve managed 8.5 miles so far today. Beginning to think about travelling again. We are going to Thessaloniki in May and Athens in September. Going to think about a long French drive in June/July. We have long wanted to visit Bordeaux so that will be in my planning.

After getting out of the Tunnel in Coquelles, the drive to Bordeaux is only 8.5 hours. In the past, I would have done it in one go but these days I will build in a hotel stop half way in somewhere like Orléans on the banks of the Loire River where we’ve been many times before. Planning is good. It is half the enjoyment.

Sunday, 19th March, 2023

Another sleepless night. Another beautiful morning – warm and sunny. The birds are going mad. They think it’s Spring … maybe it is now. There are mates to find, nests to build and young to produce. Life goes on. The lucky thing for birds is that they have no concept of cancer and its pernicious effects.

There are so many robins around here and they sing so loudly. They are feisty little birds. I have always loved feisty little birds. There is something attractive about being little and strong.

We learnt this morning that Lefteris was dead. We had known Lefteris Podotas for almost 40 years. We shopped at his supermarket – Arades aka Sainsburys in Exambela, Sifnos.

He was extremely suspicious of tourists in his shop, following them round to ensure they weren’t stealing until he realised they were going to spend lots of money and then he welcomed them with open arms.

He had two daughters , Chrysoula and Katerina, who served in the supermarket which was really a glorified corner shop. There are trolleys outside but there was hardly any room to wheel them on the inside. He sold island farmers’ produce but most things had to be brought in from the mainland by ferry/lorry two or three times a week. It meant that shopping was much more expensive although still cheaper than in UK

What we didn’t realise, until reading his obituary this morning, was how involved in island life he was and how much respect he garnered. There will be many at his funeral this afternoon. There won’t be many at mine.

Just going out to fight off the inevitable. Actually, the walk was quite chilly this afternoon. Now I’ve got an hour in the garden, bringing the furniture out of winter wraps ready to enjoy the coming sunshine. The raised beds have to be prepared for planting and the pots cleaned up for the new season. Finally, the patio will be cleaned to bring it back to ‘new’. So much to do and so little time in which to do it.

Received a lovely, supportive message from my sister, Jane BG, this evening. It moved me more than I expected.

Monday, 20th March, 2023

Awake at 5.00 am to a world of soft, grey, driving rain. A bit ironic because today is the Spring Equinox bringing equal amounts of day and night on all parts of Earth. Radio news – Banking is trembling again. Not what one wants to hear at this stage. I am already thinking of preparing for an uncertain future. I want predictability not instability.

When you’ve got cancer, you know you’re in trouble when a Biologist sends you love and kisses. Still it was lovely and it was great to hear from her. I am talking to so many people now but it was a shock that my phone told me I used it an average of more than 2 hrs per day last week. I am using voice, text and Whatsapp as well as browsing when out of the house.

My iPad told me I use it an average of 4 hrs a day. I do read apps delivering The Times and The Telegraph so that takes quite a while each day and I sometimes listen to the radio or watch TV/Films on it. I Blog on it at times but I’m up to 6 hrs screen time before you count in my desktop computer. It’s a problem for me because that is something around 8 hours physical inactivity a day. No wonder I have to force myself to do 2.5 hrs exercise a day and only sleep about 4 hrs a day. It is not the best organisation.

My housemaid requires a new steam cleaner. After 7 years in this house, she decided we needed new carpets. Panicked, I suggested she try just cleaning the existing ones. She did and was delighted with the results but now wants to build in more regular maintenance and feels a new machine would greatly help with that.

On a cost-benefit analysis, it’s by far the best option particularly as the housemaid’s services are free so that is the next search. Clinch the deal before I’m dragged out to carpet shops.

I have only done 7 miles today and I’m shattered. I’ve got to get a grip! Instead, I’m retreating to the Office to read The London Evening Standard. It’s great reading. I follow it with the Manchester Evening News which sends me Oldham and Rochdale items.

Tuesday, 21st March, 2023

Didn’t go to bed until 12.30 am and it helped with sleeping longer. It rained over night but opened warm, grey and dry. Went out for an early walk to start the day. I’m pushing myself to stay motivated. My phone app this morning helped me by marking my current streak of 54 consecutive days although I have a long way to go to match my previous record of 371 consecutive days. At least I am on the right route and showing some mental strength to continue.

At this time 10 years ago, we were just preparing to set off on the drive to our Greek home for a 6 month stay. It was exciting to anticipate the trip as we booked hotels en route and ferries down the Adriatic to Patras. It was great to reacquaint ourselves with Greek friends and pick up our island life.

Things have moved on and, on this day last year, we were swimming and sunning ourselves here at the pool of the Bradenton IMG Sports Academy. It was a good time but so much has happened even since then and life looks so different.

This morning, I’ve spoken to Kevin, Julie and my brother, Bob, who kindly took the time to phone. My sister, Cathy, is coming for coffee tomorrow. People are so kind that it hurts. Even so, I have a sense of loneliness and dislocation at the moment.

Nothing is forever. Life is constantly in flux. My former flatmate, Nigel, who is now 75 and suffering from Non-Hodgkinson’s Lymphoma, is finally giving up the lease on his Gallery. We must all hang together or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately, as Benjamin Franklin said. We may have been thrown together by random circumstance but, ultimately, that is what life is.

Wednesday, 22nd March, 2023

It’s 3.00 am and I am drinking tea in the Office. This has got to stop. Outside, soft rain is falling.

The day has opened dark and quietly wet. My sister is now not coming over for coffee. She contacted me by Whatsapp over Breakfast to say she had a prior engagement in Brighton. That’s not a problem. I get stood up by girls all the time. Went down to the Promenade to see a wild, high tide.

Didn’t stay to sunbathe. In fact, it felt cold in the wind and driving rain even though it was 11C/52F. Don’t think I’ve seen the estuary into the River Arun so violent at high tide.

Kevin, Julie and John in North Yorkshire have lovely weather today. John lives in Catterick Village and sent a photograph of a lovely view this morning.

Thursday, 23rd March, 2023

Quite a pleasant morning. Really noticeable how light it is at 6.00 am now and the clocks go forward this weekend so that will be even more emphasised. The heating is off until next November and the Summer is coming. If I make it through unscathed, I look forward to good times in the future.

Today is one of fairly ordinary housekeeping activity. First thing, the large, refrigerated van of our fish supplier pulled up outside the house. A huge, ice-filled box of fish was handed over containing four large sea bass and two sides of salmon. We eat so much fish, I’m thinking of buying shares in a Greek fish farm. You see them particularly around Igoumenitsa. As the Adriatic Sea meets and mingles with the Ionian Sea the Sea Bass and Grouper farms are obvious.

We have a kitchen fitter here from Symphony. Even 7 years after they fitted our kitchen, they are still arriving – completely free of charge – to replace three doors which are showing signs of wear. Mind you, they weren’t cheap to buy. We were shocked to find that one, additional double wall unit cost us over £720.00 so ongoing support is rather costed in to the initial price. Even so, they are a reputable company from Barnsley.

I had to order more INR test strips. I use at least one a week and more some times. They now cost £90.00 for 24 and I get one pack free on prescription and buy the other myself to be fair to the NHS.

By the time we got out to the Garden Centre this afternoon, the sun had gone so had the shoppers. They were advertising Spring but there were few takers. I just wanted about two tons of topsoil to top up and refresh the deep-beds.

Friday, 24th March, 2023

Diaries have been written for centuries from the ancient Egyptians on papyrus to the earliest recorded use of the word in Ben Jonson’s Volpone in 1605. The word ‘diary’ comes from the Latin diarium (daily allowance). The Diary of Samuel Pepys from the 1660s is well known but so many of us have disciplined ourselves to write down the thoughts and events of each day. One of my heroes, Tony Benn, faithfully recorded his day on cassettes forcing himself to work late into the night to do it and the arrival of the internet has made the activity even easier and more immediate. Blog is a portmanteau word derived from Web Log.

The Blog is not written for an audience although I know looking in on someone else’s life can be interesting at times. Although it is read every day by an audience of just over 250 people on two websites and across the world, I write the Blog every day for myself alone. It is how I reflect, record and remember the thoughts and events of the day. Most days they are routine and boring. Some days they are important, significant even life changing. My conversation is with myself, but I have spent my life talking to others in my head. I know there are others who do that in their heads. Some, on the other hand, are hardly self-reflective at all. Lucky them. I choose to put it into words. Words are my thing.

If my thoughts are sad or depressing/depressive, Dear Reader, pay no attention. We all have those moments. I just choose to commit mine to the page. They may sound melodramatic, self-indulgent, emotional or even psychotic. In the end, I try not to worry about that. Just getting them out is cathartic for me. The more stoic among you keep your thoughts to yourself. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

We are the authors of our own misfortune. The wages of sin … and all that. If I am going through a difficult time, my Blog reflects that. Ultimately, it is my problem not that of my readers. I will crawl away under a rock and deal with them when it all becomes too much but writing brings them into the daylight of scrutiny and helps me understand. I have always written at difficult times in my life. It is who I am. If you find it concerning, turn away to the joys of your own life. I will continue to babble away in my head and on my Blog.

Saturday, 25th March, 2023

I am aware of time, the passage of time, the shortness of time more acutely than ever at the moment. In the early hours, all the missed opportunities and unfulfilled hopes float endlessly through the waking dreams.

I will sleep through the moments
All the moments you’ve stolen …

Tonight, we lose a precious hour. Perhaps waking up at 4.00 or 5.00 am will seem more normal for a while.  I have always burnt the candle at both ends. While working, I would go to bed at midnight and get up at 6.00 am so this is not so strange although it’s hard on my bed-warmer.

Excitement of the morning – found a baby woodlice crawling across the kitchen floor. Can only suppose that it got in via the conservatory door vent. That’s children for you. No sense of danger. What would you have done, Dear Reader?

In any other time, I would have squished it and put it in the bin. Now, I cannot snuff out life so easily and chose to put him/her back in the garden to live another day. Did you now that baby woodlice are called Manca? Who could kill a little Manca? Life is too precious.

This morning at 5.00 am, the sky was bright and the dawn chorus was astonishingly loud. They know that time is short and the moment is now. For 72 year olds, the time was then. Found this photo from 1983 when porn star glasses were almost normal.

How easily we date! Even so, I have always tried to enjoy the age I was at any given moment and not regret the ravages of time. It is getting a little harder at the moment. One of my former pupils wrote this to me yesterday:

Every morning, I wake up and give thanks for what will unfold throughout my day.

This is the optimism of youth and I remember it well.

Sunday, 12th March, 2023

I talk throughout the day to people around the country and abroad. I even talk to my wife at times … particularly when I need food. Most of my remote friends use Whatsapp which is an internationally available service and free to use. It is almost entirely used through mobile phones and one of its biggest assets is that, unlike texts, Graphics (photos etc.) are free to send. It also allows us to send attached documents. I have a mobile contract with EE which has unlimited calls and texts but an attached graphic costs an additional £0.73. So, if I send you a graphic by text, you know I think you’re worth at least £0.73 – which is a lot!

The other point about Whatsapp is its security. It includes end-to-end encryption which means nobody else can intercept and read it which is why politicians favour it. It’s not so usual to be talking to people 50 metres away by Whatsapp but that’s what happened this morning. Michelle, from the house you can see on the right, sent me a Whatsapp message asking if I was OK because she hadn’t seen me for a while. More or less checking up on the old people. Even so, she’s a lovely girl and very kind. People here are, generally.

This is what my Social Secretary requires for her next smartphone. It has all the attributes of her current phone but folds the screen in half to slip discretely into her bag. I like to keep my staff happy.

A 5 mile walk in the Spring sunshine this morning. Lovely! the condemned man freed to enjoy his final days. Heard from Michelle, M, Kevin, Julie, Nigel and John Rid this morning. Leaves a warm feeling of friendship.

Monday, 13th March, 2023

A relatively warm night of 11C/52C. Beautiful morning – warm and sunny but a bit windy – for a walk by the beach.

I had two phone calls last week, the first asking me to meet the consultant on Thursday and the next day asking me to go in on Tuesday instead. This morning we are told the dates of the Doctors’ strike – Monday to Thursday morning – which suggests it may impact my consultation. Ironically, I fully support this strike but I will be disappointed if it affects my health.

Is it inappropriate to discuss toilet paper? Well, tough …. or, in this case, soft. Toilet paper involves shopping. Shopping, in a long marriage, involves discussion. When I say ‘discussion’, I insist on thickly quilted toilet paper. (Don’t ask!) However, we may have to dispense (to coin a phrase) with toilet paper altogether.

This morning, the news breaks that the stuff that we think rapidly biodegrades, as it is flushed down the sewers, actually includes a ‘forever chemical’. Polyfluoroalkyl Substances (PFAS) are a large, complex group of synthetic chemicals that have been used in consumer products. It has carcinogenic properties and is used in the production of toilet paper to prevent pulp clogging up the machinery. PFAS never breaks down so is ever present in the environment. No more toilet paper? Now what are you going to do? At least the Blog remains educational.

Went on to the beach where the sea was retreating then on down the Marina Promenade which looked quiet as boats moored away from the wind. These experiences are too nice to lose!

Tuesday, 14th March, 2023

A beautiful, sunny morning to … talk about cancer. What more could one want. At least my consultation hasn’t been cancelled … yet. Mid day will be one of the ‘life’ moments whatever the verdict. Rather holding my breath this morning which isn’t easy because I’ve decided to stay busy – cleaning the car, tidying the Office and the Gym. Managed a beautiful urine sample to take with me.

I’ve cleaned the car. It’s 10.00 am on the first day of the doctors’ strike and I have had no contact so it looks like my meeting will go ahead. At this stage, do I want to know?

Well, now I do know. I have extensive prostate cancer. They think it is still confined to the prostate but I have to have a bone scan to see if it has gone further. If it hasn’t, I will take hormone boosting tablets followed by 3-monthly injections to shrink the prostate and the cancer within. Then I will have to have radiotherapy to ‘eradicate’ the remaining tumour.

The foreseeable future in the medical services was what I was hoping to avoid. I’m not scared of dying but the banality of being a health statistic is what I was hoping to avoid for a few more years at least. I have people to see and places to go, things to do.

My biggest fears are that the tablets are likely to encourage weight gain. The radiology means a 30 mile round trip to Brighton 5 days a week for 4 weeks and will dominate our lives. I can’t bear putting my Secretary through that. Health and survival are set to dog our lives for months if not years to come.

I will not subject my wife and friends to that. I have to learn to keep it within myself and to deal with it alone.

In my beginning is my end. In succession
Houses rise and fall, crumble, are extended,
Are removed, destroyed, restored, or in their place
Is an open field, or a factory, or a by-pass.
Old stone to new building, old timber to new fires,
Which is already flesh, fur and faeces,
Bone of man and beast, cornstalk and leaf.

East Coker – T. S. Eliot

Wednesday, 15th March, 2023

The world looks very different and rather bleak this morning. There is a feeling of ‘What is the point of anything?‘ about it. I am going to be going through the motions but I will try to keep it out of the Blog as much as possible. Had delightful talks with Kevin and Julie last night. M said nice things from Florida and Bob and Liz sent lovely messages as well.

It sounds churlish but I find that sort of thing difficult to hear. Makes me feel ‘needy’. I suppose I am but don’t want to admit it. Have to let everyone else get on with their lives. Having said that, I am going to contact John and Nigel this morning. Been promising them a proper catchup for weeks.

I have a plan. I’ve started the course of hormone medication – not something that a man wants to submit to. I’ll probably have to go out and be fitted for a bra. To compensate, I am going to stop eating and live on fluids for a few weeks. It will mean I have less energy and I may have to moderate some of my exercise goals initially but I will hope to build them back up as time goes on..

In other news, British Gas are here this morning servicing the central heating. It used to be a straight forward thing at one time – when they were called The Gas Board. It hasn’t been called that since 1972 which shows I haven’t moved on much. In those days, people had separate water tanks in the loft and the boiler was drop-fed. It was all very ‘mechanical’. Now, it feels quite out of my comfort zone. It is quite an involved service which involves inspecting the gas boiler in the Utility Room, the cylinder in what was usually called the Airing Cupboard, the Hive controls and the smart meter.

The cylinder has a compression chamber which is quite beyond me although we also had one in Greece. We have separate controls for upstairs and downstairs. This is the first house where that has been available but it is very useful so the Hive system has two, separate controllers. Joe, the British Gas man has been lovely and efficient. He finished by checking every radiator – 15 in all – in the house. He even found a loose socket in the Utility Room and fixed it for us before leaving. They may be a bit more expensive than individual traders but you do get what you pay for with excellent service.

I have been phoned this afternoon by the Nuclear Medicine Department of Chichester Hospital. What the hell am I doing? I have to spend over 4 hrs on March 28th being injected with a radio active substance that will give me an extra 1 in 5000 chance of cancer in order to investigate an existing one.

Thursday, 16th March, 2023

A good night’s sleep and the most beautiful, warm morning of blue sky and sunshine. We had shopping to do first thing. It was nice to be distracted and normal.

I received emails of sympathy from my sisters yesterday. Although I know they mean well and I love them for bothering, it is not what I want at the moment. A copy of the letter from my consultant arrived this morning and seeing the words unfortunately we have diagnosed rather extensive prostate cancer in black type made it all the more real.

I’ve decided that I need to build a bunker in the garden for the time when I am radioactive. An escape from the world. It’s amazing how much help one can get with such a project. The internet is full of advice and guidance. I haven’t told my wife yet in case she objects to the disruption but I’m telling you. It will have to have an internet connection and fresh coffee on tap. Otherwise, I’ll be ok.

Although I’m hoping to stick to the timetable, our October trip North may have to be moved on to November. You heard it here first. Keep your diary open.

Friday, 17th March, 2023

A depressingly grey and wet morning although relatively very warm at 11C/52C. It echoed exactly this day last year – in New York. We were there, quite by chance, on St Patrick’s Day and the city was absolutely flooded in green.

Actually, it made the visit more interesting and vibrant although the restaurants were very full and the streets were blocked off for the procession.

Received a lovely email letter from Dr John Ridley this morning. He is an amusing mix of ancient & modern. He has lived in the same house in Catterick since he got married 50 years ago. He has a boat on Lake Windemere which he sails regularly. He drives a Jaguar car and and takes the elderly and disabled on tours of Fountains Abbey. He goes round the North of England giving talks on his time as a Village Headmaster and he sings in a Folk Band. And then, he holidays in … South Korea.

This morning he told me they had just had their Kitchen replaced for the first time in 30 years with their first ever DISHWASHER. He was very excited. Can you imagine living without a dishwasher all this time. It made me think back to our first dishwasher – a Hoover in 1984 – almost 40 years ago. I still can’t stack it without finding extra pieces of crockery after the wash cycle.

Dishwasher owner – going places. Love innovation and sucker for gadgets. It wasn’t long afterwards that I got a mobile phone. At home in Helme on the Pennines, I was shocked to find we had no 2G mobile signal and I had to drive out to the ring-road to make and receive a call. It was more trouble than it was worth but it was PROGRESS. I loved it. More than 30 years on, I am constantly using Whatsapp on my mobile to chat to random individuals.

The weather must be so much better in North Yorkshire. Julie is sitting out in her garden drinking coffee. It would be very diluted if I did that down here this morning.

Saturday, 18th March, 2023

Bad night. Radio on. Didn’t help. Shipping Forecast wasn’t riveting. Even Farming Today was a rehash of the week’s programmes. Anyway, it helps to drive the demons out for a while.

My Memory Box threw up a time in 1983. We had a log fire in our lounge and, to save money, we went to the nearby woods to collect logs. Usually, it was early on a Sunday morning because we weren’t completely clear if it was legal or not so we chose a time others were still in bed. Not so many young, married couples got out of bed early on a Sunday morning …. to collect firewood. No power chainsaw just a bow-saw and my youthful energy. It felt quite illicit at the time which gave it an extra frisson of enjoyment.

A year later, we had bought a house in an acre of grounds, had a number of huge trees felled and logged and the new log burner had fuel for the rest of time. Pauline will be keen to tell you that she still wears that jumper. I don’t. Nor do I have the moustache or what the school kids always described as my porn-star glasses.

Turned into a lovely, sunny day so going out for a walk. While I was out and to show a sign of optimism, our application for a French vignette issued to show our car’s compliance with European Emission Standards – Crit’Air – arrived to be mounted in the windscreen for our next French trip which can’t be far away. As a fuel-efficient, Hybrid, our car is awarded the highest criterion No. 1. It is needed when driving in most major cities of France – Paris, Lille, Bordeaux, etc..

Sunday, 5th March, 2023

Some say that maintaining a Blog for over 14 years, as I have, underlines my obsession with the Past. I am exhorted to forget the Past and just live in the Present. I have been interested to hear that one of the current concepts doing political rounds as people discuss the failings of Brexit, the failures of Tory policy during the Pandemic, the failure of the Tories to deal with Immigration is based on the observation of the 19th century Philosopher, Kierkegaard:

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.Soren Kierkegaard

I could have chosen it for the Header of the Blog. It is exactly why I record things so that I can refer back in future times. Often what I record is mundane and boring but it is amazing how often I go back and check events, actions, thoughts, across the years. I think it is part of the human condition to view their existence through the passage of time. Even basic animals do it. They remember successful, enjoyable events or things which failed or hurt them and go forward on the basis of those memories. I like to think that I follow this principle on a more sophisticated level.

After all, we feel the need to keep in touch with those who have died particularly on their anniversary. We understand the passage of time by acknowledging, even celebrating, birthdays. This week marks the 68th birthday of my little sister, Catherine. Brings me up short … and I need to be brought up short by the significance of that event. It tells me about myself and my journey across time. Who could imagine being 72? Too old for anything!

Too old to be cold that’s for certain! It is 11.00 am and still cold outside – just 5C/41F. It’s a good job I’m such hot stuff! I’m going to generate my own heat in the Gym now while reminding myself what a good barrister I might have been. Yesterday’s Blog will explain.

Our Office, in particular, and our house, in general, is full of charging points, USB points, wi-fi extender points, etc. They have been gradually accumulated over the past 7 years. Many are used when we travel so Laptops, iPads and phones can go with us and remain charged and connected to the web. This morning, I received a product recall warning from Amazon.

This multi-USB socket has been working under my desk since 2019. This morning, the government have instructed suppliers to contact customers because of imminent danger. The product poses a high risk of electric shock. Customers should stop using it immediately. Fortunately, I bought mine from Amazon which is where I source most things. They have a full customer database and could contact me easily. They say I don’t have to send the product back but they will immediately refund the money.

Could have been a shocking experience. Even so, it might have short circuited the Prostate Cancer problem!

Monday, 6th March, 2023

The day is cold. The atmosphere is cold. The forecast for the week is cold. My Medical Secretary is phoning the Hospital this morning – two weeks since my biopsy – to see why I have not been called to discuss the results, to find out how cold it is really going to become.

…. The message is that my case will be reviewed on Wednesday by a meeting of doctors who will decide the way forward and I will be contacted on Thursday. Icy!

Kevin’s been researching solutions for my as-yet-to-be-defined problems which is nice of him. Unfortunately, it makes it feel even more real.

Of course, the prize is not just a long life but a long and healthy life. My really old sister, Ruth is currently recovering from a hip operation. I am spending more than two hours in the Gym each day wondering what is growing inside me. I really don’t have any symptoms. Bob had obvious ones which led to his cancer being diagnosed very early.

I have been Covid-free. There are so many who have been having their lives blighted by Long Covid. Our region has just recovered from a massive spike in Covid infections and is now almost entirely free.

The Sunday newspapers were full of features about growing your own and eating seasonably. There were lots of allotment users featured telling their stories about providing fresh fruits and vegetables for their families through allotments. It suddenly struck me that it would be a good project for Julie in North Yorkshire.

I’ve suggested a Blog but she says she struggles with words so I’ve suggested she combines her photographic skills with her first time Allotment experiences to produce a photographic record of her exploits. It would be an interesting little project for the year. We all need something to achieve.

Having said that, context is all. If you want to know how insignificant you are, whatever your personal problems, just look back in time.

Everyone you can see in this photograph is dead. They may well have experienced two World Wars, Serious Pandemics and little or no medical assistance. Their lives may have been loving and happy but they will have been harder, poorer and lacking the warmth, light and softness that marks out modern lives. It’s all relative.

Tuesday, 7th March, 2023

Just 14 years ago this week, we were deep into the final stages of negotiating an exit from work. The final stages of such a process is always nerve wracking and one has to be strong to get the best outcome. We vacillated between success and disaster for a few weeks which is not the way one expects to leave a long career but it was worth it. We held our nerve and won strong settlements.

But 14 years! Just saying those words makes it both real and unbelievable. Could it really be so far away? I can still see and walk the corridors and feel I could drop back into that life easily but I was shocked to read that Lisa (Head of Humanities) is just 55 today.

There is a tendency to think that, when we leave a scene, the film stops. It doesn’t. The story just goes on without us. To think that she has been fighting all the same battles, going through the same daily efforts, making all the same decisions for the past 14 years and still has a few more to go before she can escape the Rochdale cold and enjoy the warmth of her Spanish home. It makes me tired just to think of it.

One of the things about aging, though, is regretting all the innovations we will miss. Those people living in yesterday’s photo from 1883 won’t have enjoyed a life with central heating, television, the internet, foreign travel …. Whereas I will probably not benefit from guilt-free travel as suggested in The Times article above.

Most batteries for electric cars and for devices from drones to smartphones are powered by lithium, which has to be mined, but Bill David, Oxford Professor of Materials Chemistry, thinks that they will be overtaken by batteries made from sodium, which can be extracted from seawater, baking powder and salt. The future of air travel could also be greener thanks to biofuels.

I long to see those days … but I have to be satisfied with today – the now of time – and it is grey and moody. Dear Reader, are you with me?

Wednesday, 8th March, 2023

You know that you’re having a slow day when weather is the main topic of interest. My weather app told me it was snowing outside. Wrong. It was raining and not cold. We haven’t even got the heating on this morning.

M messaged us – She was trying to sell her Mother. – to say it had snowed in Surrey and my sister, Liz, announced she was having coffee with the Countess of Wessex this morning if she could get through the snow in central London. I didn’t even know who that was and had to look her up. It is something to do with International Women’s Day. Do they do an International Men’s Day? Very few of us would like coffee with that strange guy with her! Now who is he?

According to my Medical Secretary, I can expect a phone call this afternoon or tomorrow morning. I suspect that will tell me absolutely nothing other than to invite me in to a meeting with the Consultant. She will give the thumbs up/down or something in between.

K in Florida sent me a nice message with his Wordle answer this morning: Dum Spiro Spero. While I breathe, I hope ….

Thursday, 9th March, 2023

A grey, wet but warm morning. Little Cathy is 68 today. We wish her a very happy day. I’ve made her a card. Homemade ones are so much more appreciated.

She doesn’t look too bad for 68, does she? She gyms and swims a lot and it shows. Mind you, I don’t think she would be swimming much today ….

Warren Buffet famously said, Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked. … It was on its way out this morning but I didn’t stay long enough to view the nude swimmers.

This morning, I have been told the Urology Department want to see me next Thursday to discuss the results of my Biopsy … so another week in suspense or, as Kevin suggested, another drunken week.

Friday, 10th March, 2023

Warmest night for weeks. We didn’t fall below 10C/50F. It is one of those times when those of us in the South can gloat unless, of course, you like skiing. After 40 years of driving back and forth across the Pennines each day, facing terrible blizzards, snow drifts, ‘white-outs’ – setting off very early, trying to be in school before all the rest of the staff and students arrived. So often when we got there, the campus was so dangerous that the school had to be closed anyway but that decision had to be taken.

The new building has moved to lower ground but it is closed once again today. Staff and many pupils can’t get there and remote learning is in place.

In the early years living in Meltham, we would drive over the A62, across Standedge Moor, through Delph, up to Grains Bar and down into Oldham. For many years, we drove sports cars. We had lots of low-slung, Honda Preludes which could never really cope with thick snow.

Just when I had got over the Moors and begun to relax, Grains Bar hill would prove even worse. This morning, I grabbed this picture from a video clip posted on Faceache.

In later years living in Salendine Nook, near to Ainley Top, it was easier to take the M62 and the motorway from Junction 23 to Junction 22, Rishworth turn off is known as the highest piece of motorway in England. Dave Roberts sent this photo of Norden

Just been phoned by the hospital to have my appointment brought forward to Tuesday morning. Don’t know whether that’s a good sign or not.

One good sign this morning is the Lenten Rose flowering at the side of our drive. Well, that’s what my mother called it with a sense of religious conviction. It is actually called Helleborus Orientalis.

Saturday, 11th March, 2023

Sunny, bright and pleasant day. Life goes on. Yesterday, the burglar alarm was serviced and next week the central heating will be serviced. The affairs of life continue.

Oh, I can’t get it out of my head
No, I can’t get it out of my head
Now my old world is gone for deadE.L.O.

I wonder if you know the feeling when your first thought on waking and your last thought before going to sleep are the same as the thought that haunts you during the day. I am no stranger to it. It is the way my mind works. I have learnt to compartmentalise the day, as so many of us do; to refocus on other things however trivial. In the waking hour 5.00 am – 6.00 am, I have developed a fascination for farming. BBC Radio 4 at 5.45 every morning has Farming Today.

I am an expert on Pork Markets, Welsh Upland Sheep Rearing, Vertical Salad Horticulture and the effects of Brexit on Farm Subsidies and Food Prices. It may sound weird but it works … sort of … until it doesn’t.

During the day, as I’ve written before, I retreat into myself, the Gym and Film. I’ve just finished a fascinating film on Amazon Prime called Enigma based loosely around the wartime Bletchley Park attempts to crack the German Enigma Machine which encrypted messages into gobbledygook at one end, transmitted it and deciphered it at the other end without the enemy understanding it.

It took an intelligent man and, later, an intelligent woman – Kate Winslett – to crack the code behind the machine and read the German’s messages and subsequently save many Allied lives. The whole thing was based on numbers and logic. I love numbers and logic. Pauline doesn’t but I’m making her watch the film now I’ve finished it so that we can discuss it.

Sunday, 26th February, 2023

Didn’t sleep much but woke to a beautiful morning and my first thought was …. I’ve got cancer. Will it colour the rest of my life? Had lovely messages from friends.

Went out early for a walk in the park. Quite cold in the breeze but warm on our backs when the sun shone. My half hearted attempt at a photograph pales into insignificance when set against my brother, Bob’s recent efforts.

This is just beautiful and moving. The world is such a wonderful place full of views to explore and to share. I can’t be doing with my little brother beating me at something.

I’m going in the Gym. It feels safe in there. I am going to exercise and escape with a British Spy film.

Monday, 27th February, 2023

Another cold morning. I think we are forecast to wake up to these for most of the next week. We have workmen arriving this morning. After 7 years here and 2 years out of warranty, we have our builders returning to address an insulation problem free of charge.

After investigation, it turns out that an air-conditioning unit installation resulted in the loft insulation not being properly replaced and a couple of additional wiring installations for ceiling spotlights and a Sky TV dish led to wall insulation being compromised. Although they are not strictly responsible, David Wilson Homes have sent out people to sort it all out. As usual, they are lovely people. One comes from Catterick in North Yorkshire where John Ridley lives.

Gave the car its first clean since buying it. It was so highly waxed when we bought it that it instantly repelled all water this morning when I pressure washed it. Cleaning a new car is so lovely and quick.

I’ve retreated to the security of the Gym and a film. Something about exercise frees up the mind and that’s exactly what I need right now.

I’ve just been told that my iPad is ready for collection. Thank goodness. I’ve been absolutely lost without it. First thing tomorrow I’ll be going to the Laptop Workshop.

Tuesday, 28th February, 2023

Up early on a sunny morning and out to collect my iPad. It looked shiny and clean as if it was new. Worth £200.00 just for that. I’m sure it’s working better than before but it’s just lovely to have the mobile internet with a large screen but without being tied to the Office desk.

I clicked the iPad into its keyboard and cover and sat at the kitchen table revelling in the freedom. Today, Pauline is making Strawberry Jam and I am trying to escape reality.

Feeling a bit down today. I have a sadness that I’m finding hard to dispel. I’m just waiting, waiting to see a consultant, waiting to know what the next stage is, waiting to find out if there is a future and, if there is, waiting to view it.

I’ve escaped to the Gym and, in there, I’ve escaped to the Turks & Caicos Islands in the second film of a spy trilogy written by David Hare and featuring Bill Nighy. It’s almost working. Unfortunately, reality and fantasy are so far removed that it just points up the truth.

Wednesday, 1st March, 2023

Happy new month to all readers. Let’s hope it really is. Struggled to sleep again but at least I sorted out the world. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a white rabbit in real life. Ours around here are big, fat and brown. They all look very healthy.

I remember the talk of Myxomatosis in my home village in the 1950s. It all but wiped out the rabbit population. As boys, we regularly found dead or dying animals in the fields around the village. It wasn’t a pretty or painless death for rabbits. I had a pet rabbit at home and, when she died, I locked myself in the downstairs toilet and cried for hours, refusing to come out. … So not much has changed.

Because I am a data nerd, regular readers will know that I record all sorts of statistics on spreadsheets. The first day of the month is peak record-keeping time. Our power usage is recorded and compared with the previous month and the same time back over the years.

Of course, smart meters are a real help. You should see where our actual gas meter is sited – in a flower bed at the front of the house. I’m not grovelling down there every month but it is fascinating comparing usage in different properties across different lifestyles. Our heating system had to be extended into the Gym both for comfort and to protect the machinery. We thought that would greatly increase our costs but, in fact, we’ve used less this year than last.

We eat lots of fish and regularly order from our beach-side suppliers. This morning we will be ordering two, full sides of Salmon, locally caught Plaice, 2kg bag of Prawns and their special choice of the month, Sunshine (Florida) Bass. All sounds such healthy food. Let’s hope it’s worth it.

It must be a man thing but Kevin is very keen on data and statistics. He sends me copies of his cycling achievements, So here are mine:

Since starting to record my exercise on my Garmin App in 2019, I have walked 13,350 miles or 26 million steps. Even though I was only playing at it in the early days, I have walked an average of 6.5 miles every day for the past 4 years.

Something for Kevin to ponder on as he luxuriates on his pedal cycle.

Thursday, 2nd March, 2023

Touch of frost in the sunshine this morning. Outdoor walking is still quite cold and I’m rather retreating into myself at the moment so Gym-work is the order of the day. Time in the Gym means I am voraciously consuming drama, films, series. Yesterday, I completed a trilogy of British Spy Thrillers based around the laconic English spy played by Bill Nighy. In order to watch it, I needed to subscribe to Britbox. It costs £5.99 per month.

The trouble is that I have subscriptions to so many other providers in order to download something I have found worth watching. I was led to the spy thriller because it was based loosely around Tony Blair’s government and it was well worth it. Well, I say well worth it but adding the monthly subscriptions up comes to about £35.00. I like to start and stop many of these as and when I need them. I’ve just started watching a series set in Barcelona on Alibi which I may not use again for months when I’ve finished it so I will stop it. Most of the stuff on Britbox is rubbish so I pick that up and drop it. Netflix is a keeper and Amazon Prime is invaluable for free, next-day deliveries never mind films.

The research for today is preparing for a Summer that I will see. We have already booked quite a lot of time away already. Climate change is bringing hotter, drier summers and the garden will need to be watered automatically. Now the lawn has been replaced, I don’t need to use a wide-sweep sprayer. I’m going to install drip feed piping in the raised beds and connect the system up to an automatic timer fitted to the garden tap. This can be timed to water during the hours of darkness which should mean less water is needed and less is lost to evaporation.

Friday, 3rd March, 2023

Didn’t sleep last night. One of the first things I heard this morning on BBC R4 was someone singing, Help me make it through the night. Life is strange!

It is a beautiful morning of clear, blue sky and sunshine. Quite cold – just 6C/43F – and awakening.

Had to report my first INR since the Biopsy and it was back to normal at 2.3 which is pleasing. Still haven’t seen the consultant yet. It will be two weeks on Monday so I will be proactive from then. Can’t stand the waiting much longer.

Went down to the beach for some air this morning but left it a bit too late and the best of the sunshine had gone. That’s life!

A report of this piece of research appeared in The Times this morning. Don’t you just love the irony of it? Here I am doing over 20,000 steps a day and yet …

Saturday, 4th March, 2023

Heavy cloud cover this morning. I will be in the Gym while my Social Secretary will be in the kitchen. We have Lunch guests and cooking is the order of the day. Homemade Pea & Mint Soup is being prepared followed by Salad, Salmon & Dill Pâté, cheese and biscuits and the pièce de résistance, Fresh Strawberry Sponge Cake. Salivating already!

Kevin and I had a falling out recently. Some home truths spoken. They needed to be. You can’t maintain a relationship on pretence. I fully cleared the air and we are back on terms this afternoon. Feels better to be straight. After 50 years of individual development, we can’t expect things to have remained the same. It feels good that we understand each other. Had a lovely message from Christine as well. It’s good to have friends who care enough to understand.

I never really wanted to be a teacher. Barrister was what I aimed for. I went to Newcastle University in 1969 to interview. The girls there were amazing. I was desperate. I failed. I was rejected. My offer was 2 As + B at A Level which at that time almost amounted to rejection. Very few people achieved such grades in the 1960s. I am horrendously ashamed that I didn’t make it. I really thought I would make a world beating barrister. I became a teacher.

Tonight, I am watching David Tennant playing an invincible barrister – which, of course, I would have been – defending the indefensible and winning.

Sunday, 19th February, 2023

I must first wish happy birthday to my little brother, Bob, who is 71 today. Just 10 months between us – that’s Roman Catholics for you. That and the natural fecundity of the Sanders family.

Having lived in the South of England most of his life, Bob won’t know what his name means to Northerners. As I learnt when I first went to Oldham and they said, That’s absolutely bob. they meant it was total rubbish. It derives from the Lancashire cotton mills, where used bobbins/spools were discarded as worthless. I think today is the day to enlighten him.

Lovely, warm and sunny day. I’m having my haircut. Apparently, I can’t have things shoved up me on Tuesday if I’m looking scruffy. I’ll probably be made to put on a suit at this rate.

Pauline & I are both a collectors of the past. I collect people. She collects items – mementoes – things that keep her in touch with events of her history. Around our house, there are small, ostensibly insignificant, objects that came from her mother. A lampshade, a serviette holder, a thermometer that barely functions and things she picked up in Greece – pieces of pottery, objects from the travelling.

I was reminded of this because the objects are not just stored in a cupboard but put to use which makes them all the more significant to her. The lampshade is over our bed; the pottery is used to store sewing things, the little bags are used for all sorts of things including haircutting equipment. They were in use today.

The first car ferry we ever took to our Greek house was Blue Star Ferries in a brand new ship – Blue Star 1 – from Ancona to Patras. We rewarded ourselves with a Deluxe Cabin. The experience was lovely and we continued with them or Superfast Ferries for 15 years. Now we fly and British Airways give us bags with eye masks, etc. We are building up collections of those.

Testament to my collection of people: I have even developed a text relationship with Pauline’s old College friend, Christine in Milton Keynes. She and I were exchanging texts yesterday while she was dining out in luxury in a box at Chelsea while watching her beloved team lose at home to the Premier League’s bottom team, Southampton. She took a bit of cheering up.

I’m really looking forward to meeting old friends in October but we are talking about slotting in another reunion for my birthday in April – assuming I’m still alive. On April 6th, the Tate Britain Exhibition – THE ROSSETTIS – opens to the public. Now, for a long time I have been obsessed with the women of Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s life and art. Pauline had to put up with them hanging all over our Yorkshire homes.

You could say I was a collector. I amassed around 40 huge prints all around the house. They were prints unfortunately. Only Andrew Lloyd Webber could afford to buy the originals … and he did.

Monday, 20th February, 2023

Woke up thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow is D-Day. Old college friend, Nigel, wished me good luck. He is quite a bit older than me and is in remission from blood cancer. I think he had been prompted by Julie. I also heard from Kevin, John Ridley, John Morris and Dave Roberts as he returned from Australasia. Nigel’s contact really moved me. He doesn’t reach out much and to make that effort meant even more.

The news carried a report of the death of former sports commentator, Dickie Davies, at the age of 94. My waking brain instinctively said, Well, that’s not bad. If you’ve reached 90, you should be fairly satisfied. And then my slow, old brain calculated, That would leave less than 20 years to enjoy the people in my life, the places that I love, the words I want to write.

As the day approaches, I’ve been forced to focus on the precise procedure. Until now, I’ve tried to leave that to my Social Secretary. The section featured above makes my trip to the Dentist this afternoon seem like a festive outing. If there is anyone out there, male or female, who will volunteer to go through this biopsy for me, I will be pleased to hear from you. Money could change hands. … Kevin has just told me he is a good friend but not that good. He also said, in a state of shock having read the procedure, a number of things that I cannot report here but I suppose we are just a couple of drama queens together.

Tuesday, 21st February, 2023

The condemned man ate a hearty breakfast …. well, porridge and orange juice. My social secretary has reviewed the orders for today:

• Urine sample
• Covid Test
• INR test
• No Dairy Products after 11.00 am
• Take antibiotic at 2.00 pm
• Arrive at Worthing Urology Butchers’ Dept. at 2.45 pm
• Butchery begins at 3.00 – 3.30 pm.
• Released if not passing too much blood by 4.30 pm.
• Driven home and waited on hand and foot in perpetuity.
• Death Sentence pronounced within 10 days.

The first day after a death, the new absence
Is always the same; we should be careful
Of each other, we should be kind
While there is still time.Philip Larkin

Managed the sample. Looked beautiful. Covid Test was clear. INR test was very low at 1.0 so I won’t bleed to death when they cut me. I will drink orange juice after 11.00 am. I don’t have a problem with antibiotics. After that, the list gets a bit more problematic.

Well, it is all over. The guidance they sent and which I posted yesterday was so scary that the actuality was wonderful. I had three very attractive girls looking up my bum. No real pain. We listened to Puccini and talked about the Labour Party. They said I was a lovely patient which, of course, I was. Before I knew it, they were offering to help me put my pants back on and I left feeling pounds lighter. It will be about 10 days until I get my results.

Wednesday, 22nd February, 2023

Another grey, damp day. I’m going to see a lot of the Gym today. As I woke and reviewed the day ahead, two deadlines loomed into view. The Repair Shop have to contact me in the next few days to say whether they have repaired my iPad and the hospital have to contact me in the next few days to tell me if I have prostate cancer. Can’t quite decide which is most important. I’m absolutely lost without my iPad.

Still, I can buy a new iPad whereas a new prostate?? I don’t even know what a prostate is really and, until now, I’ve been too nervous to look it up. My wife knows all about bodies but despairs of explaining it to me. Never having studied Biology can have its advantages. Sublime ignorance allows one to lead a carefree life. At times like this, however, it can be like living in a strange, misty world of fear.

On the off chance that I am allowed to live a bit longer, financial security is very important. You never know when you’re going to need money. Is it too soon to start thinking about Funeral Plans? I’m going for the cheapest – Cardboard coffin, no mourners, no religious service. I don’t mind flowers if someone else is buying. I used to want a burial with a headstone for the sake of History but oblivion through cremation is what now appeals.

However, money is the topic. I have cash accounts paying about 3% interest but our bank has recently brought out a Regular Savings Account which pays double that. Admittedly, we can only hold £10,000 in it but that’s better than nothing. If the rates improve, I may go back into ISAs just to save tax. I think I’ve got too much time on my hands!

Thursday, 23rd February, 2023

An improving day which turned sunny and bright but wasn’t very warm. Heard from the iPad repairers that it will cost me £240.00 for what is essentially a spare charging socket which I could buy for £3.50.

Unfortunately, all the skill is in removing the glass screen without breaking it, cleaning the computer board, removing the old socket and micro-soldering in a new one. This is all quite beyond me and cost effective. A new one would cost me about £1600.00 so the repair on a relatively new machine is well worth it.

A few more days before I hear if my own body is recoverable or even worth saving. Expecting a phone call within two weeks to deliver the sentence. I’d certainly pay a great deal more for that to be resoldered.

Certainly got that phone call in the back of my mind as I go about the day. It rather colours each activity from walking outside in the Spring sunshine to exercising in the Gym, from shopping for food to researching new travels. I feel like I am marking time rather than moving forward. Life is all about new goals and achieving them but I’m struggling to focus at the moment. There are nice things lurking away in the background but, for now, pleasure is hard to grind out.

Actually, the day really came alive as we walked a familiar path. The trees are well into bud, the rabbits are out and frisky, the birds are singing very loudly from the tree tops.

And this evening, the planets are aligned in our village. The Moon, Jupiter and Venus in a straight line. Must mean something!

Friday, 24th February, 2023

A cold morning. Had the heating on at breakfast. That’s a rare event. It is fairly grey outside as well.

I have to chauffeur my Social Assistant to Worthing on a clothes shopping expedition. Not that I will be much help.

The shops are near the beach so I can’t resist a sniff of the sea even though an icy wind made it less enjoyable than usual.

I hate shopping for clothes with a passion but the bright warmth of the department store was almost preferable this morning. Shopping for clothes illustrates as much as anything the differences between the sexes. If I want something, I check a shop has it, go to the shop and buy it. If Pauline wants something, she consults 20 sales catalogues, 20 more websites, selects 10 different items, colours, sizes and then goes to the store.

When she gets there, she finds the item and holds it, rocking it backwards and forwards while simultaneously scanning the rails. She then walks round the store, holding the item that she came for but looking at every other item there. In the end, she will often forget the original and buy something completely different. What drives me mad is the indecision. I’m not a good shopping companion.

I love learning new things. Today it was paying a physical cheque in online. Don’t normally deal in cheques or hard cash but something strange happened when we bought a new car. Firstly, our insurance was £100.00 cheaper than for the identical but dirtier car that we were trading in. Absolutely no idea why. Next, we were provided with 12 months Road Fund Tax in the price of our new car and were entitled to 6 months remaining RFT from our old one. It arrived today in the form of a paper cheque for £77.50. With our banking app and smartphone camera, it’s as simple as photographing the cheque. Who needs banks?

Saturday, 25th February, 2023

Didn’t sleep well last night but woke to a reasonably bright morning. No earthquakes down here. I did sleep through one a few years ago in Yorkshire which my wife says rattled the garage doors. Those were the days when I slept soundly without concern.

Received a text this morning from my next door neighbour asking if I could help him out with his lawns. He runs a Building Firm. In fact, his firm built our house for David Wilson Homes. He is very proud of his lawns but doesn’t have much time to maintain them so, when he does, he cuts them so low he scalps them. They have a dog which wees on their front lawn and destroys it in patches. His lovely, skinny wife – an English Lit. lecturer – appeared at my door the other day to apologise for reversing over the grass when she came home tired after work. I didn’t make it easy for her!

Jason was offering to pay me to do the grass. Of course, I couldn’t contemplate that. I replied that I would happily bring his lawns back to life and he could just pay for the products but there would be a couple of things he should consider: selling the dog and banning his wife from driving. He immediately came back one better. He will discuss selling his wife and teaching the dog to drive. On that basis, I’ve agreed to help out.

I had just started to explore a June trip to Barcelona when the dreaded letter arrived. It confirmed that I have quite advanced prostate cancer. It is not clear to me what my prognosis is or what can be done to mitigate it but at least I now know.