Category: Uncategorized

Sunday, 7th January, 2024

Glorious morning of clear blue sky and sunshine. My friend, Kevin, in North Yorkshire is excitedly expecting his football team, Huddersfield Town, to thrash Manchester City in the Cup this afternoon. I’m not quite as confident of that. I tried to tell him but he hasn’t taken the hint. I think I’m just too subtle for him.

Here, Chef is excitedly expecting her second Ninja cooker in a week. This one is particularly suited to air roasting. Where to put it? Well that has been/is being solved. I move my wine racks. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that? Actually, it’s not a problem. I’ve got plenty of room to move them but it takes time and effort. I’m making room for a new, stainless steel, catering preparation table to be added to the catering cupboards outside in the Gym/Kitchen/Garage.

The afternoon has turned quite bitter as the sun has fallen. I’m feeling disappointingly lethargic. I’ve done a Gym session but have still got 30 mins more to complete before I can relax. I’m annoyed with myself for not achieving more today. I’m not doing as well as I hoped at the moment. Must try harder!

I’m aware I can be pathetically introverted and self-indulgent. When I was diagnosed with Cancer, it hit me like a ton of bricks both emotionally and psychologically. The word Cancer alone has such resonance in the modern world that it seems automatically existential. The treatment – hormones and loss of testosterone increasingly added to that. It populated my Blog just as it populated my head. I constantly told myself that I was being wimpish, that stiff upper lip was what I should adopt and that I shouldn’t publish it on my Blog.

I’m afraid I failed all those tests and I wasn’t really ashamed of it. Describing things, using words to define feelings enables me to measure, define, understand the world. Words are my tools of life. It taught me who cared and clearly who didn’t. Other than my wife who was unbelievably long suffering, some friends showed amazing support while others faded away. And I have come through it with a greater understanding of myself and them. And I am not alone in my journey. Lord Watson says,

The anxiety was as bad as the treatment. That word CANCER – it truly did me in. I grappled with fears of dying, sexual dysfunction, and even the prospect of wearing nappies before turning 60.

I know exactly what he means. It was never out of my head. It stopped me sleeping and relaxing. It made me crave reassurance. Tom Watson has been declared cancer-free as I have although I am still finding it hard to accept.

Monday, 8th January, 2024

Bitterly cold down here this morning – just 3C/37F and overcast. Actually put the central heating on for half an hour before getting up to give the downstairs a boost. Porridge for Breakfast really feels appropriate today.

These are difficult days if you’re working and going out in the cold and dark but they are equally difficult if you’re retired to motivate yourself and get going. To avoid the malaise, there are some things you can do:

• Get up at the same time each day including the weekends.
• Set yourself some goals for the day and the week.
• Get outside in the fresh air early on.
• Do a quick burst of cardio early on.

If I don’t have a list of tasks to achieve when I get up, I am a nightmare all day. Actually, I am a nightmare all day anyway but, if I’m busy, I’m more manageable. The tasks don’t have to be monumental and they do have to be achievable. Judge for yourself, Dear Reader.

1. Put the bins out.
2. Unstack the dishwasher
3. Read Newspapers
4. Contact friends & wish one Happy 74th Birthday.
5. Start the day’s Blog.
6. Rearrange the cardio equipment for the new table.
7. Arrange for the cleaner to clean the Gym.
8. Receive the new table delivered by FedEx.
9. Do my 2hr exercise routine.
10. Complete the Blog

Obviously, I could do a lot more but getting up with that list in my head gives me a reason to get out of bed before 7.00 am and to get going. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the days are already lengthening with extra daylight. The Summer is coming.

Tuesday, 9th January, 2024

Gorgeous morning. I’m helping the Cleaner finish the work in the Gym. New work table installed, cooking equipment set out, Gym equipment oiled and cleaned, floors cleaned. Now, all I’ve got to do is use it.

Actually, the Blog today deals with Life and Death. I will start at the end. Yesterday, my friend, Kevin, was 74. I almost wince saying the words but on the same day, it was announced that one of my boyhood heroes had died …. aged 74. He was one of the fittest men you could imagine.

J.P.R. Williams was a Welsh rugby union player who represented Wales in international rugby at the highest level. He also played Tennis in his early career at Wimbledon. He went on to have a sparkling career as an Orthopaedic Surgeon. He played rugby right into his early 50s. He died from bacterial meningitis. And so easily, Life can be taken away.

People who have been with me a long time know I have an ambivalent feeling about babies. I won’t rake over that again but I was told yesterday that I am going to be a Gruncle. No, I’d never heard of it before and I’m not sure I want to hear too much about it now. It looks too much like responsibility. Even so, I do go a bit gooey when I see babies even if they’re not Rebecca-Jane.

The Gym has been moved around and extra Kitchen furniture installed. The cleaner has been in and worked her magic. She’s even oiled the treadmill for me. I’m not practical. All I’ve got to do now is get out there and use it. I’m certainly glad I had the radiator installed. It’s quite bitter here today. Might be looking for extra sources of warmth.

Wednesday, 10th January, 2024

Beautiful but cold morning. Got some Office work to do this morning. Brain in the morning and body in the afternoon so I’ll be going out to my newly cleaned Gym. First, Statistics:

I feature quite a few supermarket trips in my daily Blog because … I visit quite a few supermarkets in my daily life. My Housekeeper has followed the recent shopping trend of researching things she wants/needs and decides on price/availability which supermarket to visit. Virtually every supermarket known to man (person) is within easy driving distance of our house – Sainsburys, Asda, Waitrose, Tesco, Morrisons, Aldi, Lidl – and we visit all at some time in the year. Probably, Sainsburys is our shop of choice.

Today, they sent me this. Now I love statistics and I am delighted to know that I visited Sainsburys 89 times last year and bought 2,619 portions of Veg or 7 portions every day and 3,943 portions of fruit which is circa 11 portions a day. Healthy or what?

Apparently, I was their No.1 customer for Kippers. Can you believe it? Such healthy, oily fish! I’m going to live forever. Oh, hard luck, Dear Reader! You’ve got me for life.

If you don’t like hot weather. This world is not for you. It is definitely getting hotter and last year was the hottest on record. We were mainly in UK last year and a large chunk of that was lovely. I love hot weather. I’ve often speculated on the Mediterranean countries’ over reliance on tourism and it is possible that they may become insufferably hot in the Summers to come. A heatwave in Greece is uncomfortable enough for the young and could prove deadly for the old. Of course, it was ironic to find this data released in the coldest week of the year.

Because I love data so much, I have signed up to work for the polling organisation, Ipsos Mori. No point in sitting around. Need to earn some money. Why not indulge my passion and make a profit? You have to admit, I am opinionated and reasonably articulate, motivated and I love data. I am a pollster’s dream. Well worth paying for! Why didn’t I do this before? I’ve missed my way. Too busy obsessing about other things, eh, Dear Reader.

Thursday, 11th January, 2024

Glorious, glorious morning. Couldn’t wait to get outside in the sunshine, Went down to the beach. It was all a bit fishy. Well, that was one reason for going.

We had ordered a joint of Sushimi-Grade Fresh Tuna and thought it would be nice to pick it up ourselves this morning. There were men on the jetty fishing for their Supper, with a trawler returning quite late to replenish the fish shop and the lovely suppliers who always have good things to eat.

My friend, Kevin, responded to yesterday’s Blog with a photo of his week’s shop from Aldi. I told him I was shocked how much wine he bought and that he actually ate shop-bought bread. He found that very funny. Who has ever heard of Cheese Curls or Kellogs Winders? Anyway, he has got tomatoes, beans and green vegetables but I suspect most of that is for Christine who is a vegetarian. He challenged me to provide a total price. My Housekeeper guessed £65.00 (What do you think, Dear Reader?) which was the same as our 2kg joint of fresh Tuna. Haven’t heard back yet other than his laughter at the idea of shop-bought bread being remarkable.

Friday, 12th January, 2024

The forecast said that we would be freezing last night. Almost guaranteed we didn’t fall below 7C/45F. Even so, it was grey and overcast this morning and I had to work hard to get myself out of bed. Something is definitely missing at the moment and I’ve got to find it again.

After one failed try, we are going back to the retiling of the downstairs cloakroom project. I mentioned before Christmas that we have a wooden floor and I have singularly failed to train my wife to aim accurately. The wood has to come up. As she is to blame, she is allowed to choose the replacement …. as long as it is BEIGE. We don’t want any wildly bright colours! I’ve told her, she can choose any colour she likes as long as it matches this ‘test’ sample.

We went out to another tile suppliers and I gave her free reign to choose this tile which she did … eventually. The biggest problem is getting a tiler to do the work. Fortunately, we have a builder friend who is giving us the number of one of his trusty tilers. The tile shop say the ordering time is 3 – 4 weeks so we hope we can marry the two up together.

Cancer Kills! It kills many people. It kills people whether they think they are fighting it or bemoaning their plight. It kills young and old. It kills those who think they have beaten it and those who don’t know they have it. Cancer is a killer. So many people around my age have been reported to be suffering and dying from cancer in the past few months and I have become increasingly sensitive to the reports.

Yesterday we learnt that Sven-Goran Eriksson, former England Manager, is reported to have less than 12 months to live because of pancreatic cancer.

Today, I read that a lovely man, the Rochdale, Labour MP, Tony Lloyd, is suffering from terminal Leukaemia after being in intensive care for Covid and being diagnosed with cancer a decade ago and declared cancer-free in 2020. Cancer-free is just a resting house en route to terminal cancer for many.

Saturday, 13th January, 2024

Keep receiving texts from my Surgery exhorting me to book my Annual Review. Obviously I’m far too busy for that! What will they find this time? My friend, Kevin, who only drinks 5 bottles of wine a week and a few pints of beer was told he was drinking too much. Can you imagine that? Whenever I’m asked by a medic, I always turn the tables and ask how much they drink before I lie to them.

Unfortunately, my Carer has booked me an appointment and, before that, I have to submit a record of my blood pressure taken twice a day for a week. Exercise has definitely improved my blood pressure but I also have to take a urine sample which will be pure alcohol. Actually, I have been instructed to stop drinking so I can say when asked how much I drink that I don’t drink at all. Works for me. Do you think I’m missing the point of a Medical?

This Summer, it will be 10 years since we sold our Greek home and left Sifnos. On this day in 2011, I booked the Anek ferry to take us and our car from Ancona down the Adriatic to Patras on the Greek Peloponnese. Couldn’t believe it when I checked this morning but the whole return 24hr sailing with Luxury cabin cost just £500.00 back 13 yrs ago. Today, it would cost about £1,200.00 which sounds cheap today.

It is incredible and quite frightening how time goes on. For a decade or more I have held mobile phone contracts with EE who are owned by BT and are almost certainly the best provider. Before that, I was with Three, T-Mobile and BT. I take a contract for two, 5G mobiles and each has unlimited data, calls and texts. They give me the ‘free’ add-on of free roaming across Europe and America in spite of Brexit. The contract for two phones and numbers cost £160 per month and last 24 months.

Each time I renew the contract, I am offered new phones. The contract is up in May but they are getting worried about customer churn and have contacted me today to offer me an early upgrade to new phones if I sign another two year contract. It will cost a bit more – £200.00 per month but I will certainly sign it. My mobile has become more important to me than my iPad nowadays. We currently both have Samsung Galaxy S22 Ultras and I will probably just go on to the S23 upgrade. The other little person who lives here has a hankering for a large phone but one that folds and fits into a handbag. Got to check them out in the flesh next week.

Sunday, 31st December, 2023

The dying of the old year and the birth of a new one is an exciting time …. for young people. If you’re young and desperate to be inducted into the next stage of Life – Secondary School, University, Car Driving, Drinking Alcohol, Getting a Job, Getting Married, Buying a House – then a new year could bring that aspiration closer. When you are older, the advancement of Time is less attractive and aspirations are harder to find. We have to work at it and control our expectations.

I will be setting my goals for the new year – some I will share with you and others I won’t. I will first and foremost aim to get rid of the excess weight I’ve accumulated during the 8 months of Hormone Treatment. I will get back to my best fitness and even stretch it a bit. I will travel abroad and in UK and visit friends and family. I will continue to manage my investments and add to them on the basis that we have a future to protect.

Down here the weather is perfect – dry & bright but breezy. The old year is being blown away by the new. Up in Yorkshire floods are closing roads and my old friend John R has had to abandon his picnic in Catterick. Most wonderful of all is how warm it is. Here we are at the year’s end and no central heating being used although I went down to the beach this morning and nearly froze my face in the stiff breeze.

Going in the Gym to end the old year the way I intend to start the new. I can feel the determination surging back to improve and do better than before, to achieve things I failed to do this year. It’s coming …. See you in the New Year, Dear Reader.

Monday, 1st January, 2024

Ah, there you are. Welcome to another year of trivia. We welcomed in the New Year with quite heavy rain but this morning is reasonably bright and warm. Went down to the beach but it was so popular that we didn’t stay.

I told you about some of my resolutions for the New Year yesterday. I have others and this morning’s Times pictured one of them. Just as lunatics post images of Jesus or the prophet Mohammed that they think they can see in a bowl of custard or a cup of coffee, so Tory diehards see a face of Sunak in their toast and see it as a sign. The Brexit mug steams grubbily away and the ‘jam tomorrow’ promise sits temptingly on the side. Look at the robin of hope in the real world outside.

In the real world, I’m going back in the Gym.

Tuesday, 2nd January, 2024

Happy Tuesday. Well, we have to generate our own ‘happy’ today because it’s raining outside. I’m working on self-improvement! Diet and exercise is formally re-engaged with self determination. It is so warm down here at the moment that I’m thinking of moving back into tee shirt & shorts. Thinking.

What I can tell you is that this warm winter is definitely showing in our power readings. If you are a regular reader, you will know that I maintain a spreadsheet of our power consumption which I record at the start of a new month. Last month, we used 30% less Gas compared with the equivalent month last year and a staggering 50% less Electricity. At this rate, the suppliers are going to be paying me to stay with them. The other ritual which is performed annually is the Home Accounts print out. This year it came to a staggering 38 pages which will be committed to file in case digital copies get lost.

The South Coast has traditionally had an older and more prosperous demographic. The climate makes it more amenable to retirees. Because of that, it has always voted Tory … since 1841 when Sir Robert Peel was Prime Minister to be precise. Currently, it has two, Tory MPs who were first elected here in 1997. They have had comfortable majorities for 26 years.

Peter Bottomley has been an MP over six decades, first being elected in Woolwich West, before becoming the representative in Worthing West in 1997. He is so old that he is currently Father of the House. Many will remember his wife, Virginia Bottomley, as Secretary of State for Health under John Major in 1992. That’s how old our MP is.

His neighbouring Tory MP is Tim Loughton who blames People from Brighton coming to Shoreham and Worthing, people with university degrees who think Jeremy Corbyn is brilliant. Can you imagine educated people being a threat to an MP. Well, of course you can if you are constantly getting re-elected by pulling the wool over the eyes of the uneducated. These Tory MPs have become so blasé about their positions that they are known as absentee landlords. Loughton is an exponent of the bonkers and immoral Rwanda Plan which tells you all you need to know about him.

Often you will hear the older inhabitants around here bemoaning the new houses being built and the younger people moving in. I suppose I am older but I welcome them and particularly if they are educated, bright, lively, demanding of better services and seeing through the Tory’s paucity of provision. They are the source of regeneration and I welcome that.

Wednesday, 3rd January, 2024

Almost forgotten we ever went through 2023 by now. The new year is already the current, the now. Nice, bright and breezy but warm morning. They can be difficult days these darker, wetter, colder days – particularly for the retired. My friend in North Yorkshire was so fed up with constant rain and wind yesterday that he was watching a 1956 film, The Ten Commandments with his wife. I can’t imagine watching the film anyway but WITH YOUR WIFE? Actually, he did say, Life must get better!

I assured him it had to. He should drink the wine I sent him for Christmas and book a trip to Spain. Do not grow old! Grow Life. There is so much more to life than fairy tales. If you are a regular reader, you will know that I see all religious belief as sure sign of madness. As I grow older, I become more sure of that position. I am not looking for a fantasy insurance policy of eternal life which is why I have to get everything done while I am actually alive. As my carer constantly says, You’re a long time dead. She is a happy little soul.

I have always been happier in facts than fictions and if the two can be blended, all the better. In the Gym, I am still watching the 10 series, 88 episode, MI5 drama called Spooks. What I like about it is the fact that it is rooted in current affairs. Series 7, which was first aired in 2008, opened with an Israeli bombing of Gaza killing 80 innocent Palestinians. I was absolutely gripped by its topicality. Another Series was centred around Russian assassins seeking out and eliminating enemies of Russia in UK about the time of the poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko and long before Boris Berezovsky was found ‘hanged’ in Berkshire in 2013 just as his associate was found impaled on the iron fence below his apartment.

Although I like to feel centred in reality, I don’t want to go as far as this lunatic. He keeps me up to date with developments in the area where he lives and his travel but this is just going a bit too off-grid. Cold, wet, dull …. not for me. Where is the sun?

I suppose it takes all sorts. Life would be boring if we were all the same. If you can believe it, some people even go to Wales.

As I walk across the garden to start my work in the Gym, I am reminded by post through the door that it is almost 4 years since we left David Lloyd and set up our own facility. Regularly, I receive emails and flyers beseeching me to return. I looked up the cost this morning and our joint membership would be just under £3000.00 per year. We didn’t pay a great deal more than that to set up our own and we’ve already had 4 years out of it. Plus it is so convenient.

Thursday, 4th January, 2024

Drove down to the beach to buy fish. It wasn’t sunbathing weather but very warm and without wind. The tide was out and the beach was empty.

We drove on to the Fishermen’s Shop where locally caught, fresh fish is always available. They are lovely people who appreciate our loyalty.

Back just in time before the skies opened and rain poured down. Managed to catch Keir Starmer’s New Year’s speech and then get out to the Gym.

Meanwhile, Chef has been making soup, dehydrating fruit slices and making fish cakes and homemade baked beans for Supper. Really living the High Life down here!

Friday, 5th January, 2024

A cooler, brighter morning but not cold and only weakly sunny. Out early to have a blood test and then take the little diva to the Beauticians. She keeps telling me it is ‘free’ because she bought a course of treatments. How that is free is only known in her facialised head but I don’t argue … much. Between these two appointments, we had time to nip down to the beach to check the sea is still there. Beach was lonely and all the activity happening far out on the horizon.

Along the beach path are those characteristic, seaside shelters for people to sit out of the rain/wind/sun. Good idea but, they are rarely cleaned and maintained and soon begin to look shabby, dirty and uninviting. Sands and salt spray blow in from the beach and make the whole area uninviting. I wouldn’t sit in one.

I’ve had some weird relationships with people in my life and many of them long distance. I think the pandemic encouraged them more than ever. In retirement, they have increased rather than anything else but reaching out and sharing each day is so important. Did you know that relationships with friends are very important to our health. The Alzheimer’s Society’s research found:

Social isolation can greatly increase a person’s risk of dementia. Engaging in social activities helps to build up your brain’s ability to relieve stress and improve your mood.

I have made it harder by moving South but I will persist if only for my long term health. I knew there was a reason for Whatsapp. It really makes sharing the events of your life so easy. I even talk to the next door neighbours through it.

I don’t know about you. Dear Reader, but I love flowers. I love cut flowers in the house. Had a tall, fluted vase in the hall for ages and rarely find flowers tall enough to showcase it. Found some today and I love them.

I got the flowers. My Chef has gone Ninja-mad. Last week she started to test one air-fryer / pressure cooker / multi-cooker. Today, she has ordered a second one which can cook a whole chicken. Don’t ask.

Saturday, 6th January, 2024

A lovely morning after a beautiful sunset last night. A little cooler but nothing of significance. Still haven’t got the central heating on although the radiator will go on outside in the Gym today.

When you’re not practical …. and I’m nothing if not practical, it can be a nightmare finding people to do the work that inevitably crops up. As soon as we move to a new home, we try to establish a network of of tradespeople who we can call on and rely on. Even in Greece, it was an important thing to do. We have a wonderful, odd-job man for all those little things that normal men can do for themselves but my incompetence means I’m prepared to pay for.

We try to wait until we’ve got a list and then bring him in from Brighton to make the travel worth his while. My job today is to photograph all the things we want him to do and email them to him. Today I’ve got 7 smallish jobs on the list.

Meanwhile, back in the Kitchen, Chef is introducing me to Buttermilk. I knew of it but I think this is the first time I’ve tasted it. It is really just milk with lemon juice which will tenderise chicken thighs prior to air-frying coated in flour. There’s nothing quite like tender thighs. Even at 72, we can all learn new things. I love it.

It’s Saturday. A day for talking. So far I’ve spoken to Kevin, Tolley and Derek France. It’s good to talk.

Sunday, 24th December, 2023

A dark and dismal day … but incredibly warm. We have been 14C/57F all night. It is the day before Christmas and the time to bring out all the timeworn topics that seem to populate our culture. A programme about mistletoe, holly & ivy and wassailing, the Christian ‘story’, singing carols and about belief. I have to be honest and say, I don’t buy in to any of this.

This morning at 6.00 am, I heard the main reason why I don’t have faith. The central tenet of the philosophical theme this morning: To believe, first you’ve got to want to believe. This is the first principle of the snake oil salesman. Sell them something they want to believe and you will get them eating out of your hand. It is how brainwashing works. You have to get people to suspend their disbelief, their scepticism, their rationality.

Once you’ve done that, almost anything is possible. Virgin birth? No problem. Happens all the time. God made human? They’re talking about me! Water into wine? Have you tasted some supermarket wine? Today’s programme addressed exactly that problem. It addressed it head on. There are two types of truth, it asserted. There is empirical truth like to say, I had Breakfast this morning. But then, there is eternal truth which goes so much deeper and requires …. faith to believe it. And I don’t. So you see, Dear Reader, You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.

A postcard from our village circa 1955, a time when the world was less questioning of Faith and Authority and the connection between the two.

This from 1968 at Grammar School when faith in God and service to Country were still the principle currency even though Wilson was in power with a campaign to harness the white heat of technology. The world was once populated with Beautiful People.

There is a tendency for people, as they get towards the end of their lives to turn (back) to Faith. Like some insurance policy, they begin to hope for a Life after Death. I was particularly proud of my Mother-in-Law who, even though she was 96, didn’t succumb to fairy tales in which to seek comfort. She was a realist and a fighter to the end.

It is gratifying for me to see church attendances plummet, those identifying as Christian fall into the minority and the monarchy under question more than at any other time. The last series of The Crown on Netflix finished with the royal family themselves believing that they would not survive much longer. I’m planning for President Corbyn!

Monday, 25th December, 2023

Happy Christmas to all my readers. I have to admit, I don’t really feel too celebratory this year. Is it age and loss? Who knows. I know Pauline woke up thinking about her Dad who died 62 years ago. Amazing how things are triggered. I just woke up thinking.

Onward and upward. Got the M25 to enjoy this morning. Just about to load the car up with enough food to feed the 5000, wonderfully wrapped presents for the family and the Kitchen General’s instruction sheet.

I will spend the day as dogsbody … so no change there. Just had Christmas greetings from most of the neighbourhood, from lots of family members and friends around the country. All has a sad sense of remoteness, distance, loss.

See you on the other side ….

Lovely drive up to Surrey. Even the M25 was deserted. Chef had done so much preparation and everything that could be prepared in advance had been and packed into boxes and the car’s fridge so, when we arrived, we were greeted with glasses of Buck’s Fizz and bacon sandwiches for breakfast.

M&K are lovely company to be with and envelope us in their family scene for the day. M, looking lovely in her Christmas Onesie, K on his mobile checking his pension scheme, David making Buck’s Fizz and James eating all the sausages and that just leaves C&P to adorn the furniture.

The meal was absolutely the best chef has made in the last 45 Christmases. The menu …

• Mushroom Gratin with Garlic Bread
• Turkey with Sausage-meat & Apricot Stuffing
  Bacon wrapped Sausages
  Roast King Edward Potatoes
  Parsnips roasted in Sherry & Honey
  Green Beans with Garlic
  Herby Baked Carrots
  Cranberry Sauce with Orange & Cinnamon
• Christmas Pudding with Double Cream Custard
  Lemon Cheesecake with Raspberry Glaze
  Tarte aux Pommes with Cream

It was simple but Chef did a magnificent job of organising, sourcing, preparing, cooking and presenting the meal and was roundly applauded. Because I was allowed to drink wine, chef had to drive us home on a dark, wet night. She was tired after that so, to reward her, I opened and poured the champagne as we came down from the day.

Tuesday, 26th December, 2023

Nice bright and warm morning. Actually got up quite late. Don’t know why. Just managed a glass of fresh orange juice and a cup of Yorkshire tea.

Chef never rests. Already the remains of yesterday’s turkey carcass are being put to good use as stock is being made outside in the pressure cooker.

Boxing Day is always a bit of a non-day. Traditionally, we would spend it at the beach. Even in Yorkshire, we would either go to Scarborough/Whitby or across the Pennines to Formby or Fleetwood. Now we visit the beach so regularly, the urge is not quite there today. I’m going in the Gym instead. Before that, I have been trying to decide where to put a present from M&K yesterday which they brought, ironically, from America.

I’ve decided that I’m going to find space for it in the Office next to the sale sign for our Greek House. Seems appropriate.

Before anything else, Lunch is served. I’m having cold Christmas Pudding with cold custard … mmmm.

Wednesday, 27th December, 2023

It’s Wednesday! Strange, I was wondering. Don’t you just hate the break in normality? I do. It was weird having no newspapers on Monday. No political programmes yesterday. What to do today on a Wednesday? Well, my big job today is …. cleaning the Gym. I’m not big on cleaning but you have to help out, don’t you?

For a year or two as a teacher, I used to take Assembly every day. When I started, I would sit at home the night before and think for ever about what subject I could talk on the next morning as I presented some little homily of morality or self-improvement to start the kids’ day. I can clearly remember panicking some nights in the early years because nothing would come to me.

Experience changes everything doesn’t it, Dear Reader? Soon, I became so relaxed that I wouldn’t even think about it until I was in the car driving to school. Later still it would be over a cup of coffee in my Office before school started that I turned my mind to the subject. In the end, it was as I walked up the steps onto the stage from which I delivered the address. The job I did eventually just generated the topic to the point where I had too much to talk about. I really got to enjoy it.

In just the same way, I wondered if I would ever have enough material to maintain a daily Blog. At first, under the strain of work at work, it felt like a struggle which I could only address occasionally. Soon I began to see it as an outlet for the internalisation of life. In Retirement, it has just formed a vehicle for reflection and self management. Rarely do I get up and think about what to write. It just presents itself naturally. Yes, I know, it comes over like that.

Of course, I designed my own Blog with its own Links to please me. If others read it, they have to take it in that spirit. Often people contact me and tell me I should write something like a book or submit articles for a magazine. There are certainly lots of people out there who think they can make money through their Blogs although I’m not sure if they actually do. I think I’m going to have to attract some advertisers. To do that, I’ll have to make it a lot more juicy, salacious, provocative. I’m sure I can do that. The past made present and projected into the future. The Blog of a Time Traveller. Now that sounds like a niche that could be monetised.

Thursday, 28th December, 2023

Beautiful morning – warm and bright. British Gas must think we’re abroad because we’re not using the heating at all. The Cleaner woke me up to announce that Spring Cleaning would start to day. I have decided to hide in the Gym.

Cook is getting very excited. She has always wanted a food dehydrator and often toyed with buying a dedicated one. Now her new pressure cooker / steamer / air fryer / yoghurt maker / grill & roast /dehydrator has opened up so many new possibilities. Last night, fruit slices were dried over 8 hrs and came out like …. dried fruit. Oh, we did have fun!

First thing on the radio at 5.00 am was an item about the weather in Greater Manchester last night. A mini tornado with roofs being torn off houses and trees blown over. Stalybridge was the epicentre apparently. Lots of friends live near and I’ve been contacting some of them this morning. Kevin sent me a picture of how I feel and Little Viv sent me a photo to reassure me she was still alright.

North Yorkshire is cold with floods. My friend, JohnR, posted a video of the floods in Catterick this morning. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it. North Wales & North West England has gales. When M&K were up in Oldham last week, they couldn’t believe how cold it was. Mind you, they were just back from Florida and now they’re off skiing.

As Chef drove me home from Surrey in dark and dashing rain, she had the joy of a warning symbol popping onto the screen with a chime alert. I have to say that I never check anything on the car apart from washer bottle and fuel. Tyres are monitored automatically.

It says a tyre has fallen below optimal pressure. Chef immediately started to worry and was preparing to pull over and get out into the rain to check the tyres. I told her not to even consider it unless the steering felt wrong but to get us home and we would deal with it next day. It didn’t help her confidence but we got home safely. Yesterday, we checked every tyre and found one had lost just 2psi on default. That’s all it takes.

Friday, 29th December, 2023

Big day today. Appointment with the oncologist to get the results of my cancer treatment. Well, it was a big day in my mind at the outset of this process but it has been going on so long and things have happened on the way that I am rather giving up the will to live or that’s how it feels at the moment.

Changing the subject completely, have you heard of The Clash or Black Sabbath. I didn’t know of the first and I’d hazily heard of the second. A girl from Manchester who I knew in a former life and who is going through a very difficult time, contacted me and asked me if I knew how to get in contact with a former colleague. I didn’t but I learned that he had a famous cousin who was the drummer with a Punk band called The Clash and had also played with Black Sabbath for a few years. He had been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

I did some research …. because that is what I do. Nobody escapes if I want them. I contacted the former Clash/Black Sabbath drummer who is now a Chiropractor in Essex. I will hear from him in the next couple of days or I will be phoning.

At 10.00 am I was with the Oncologist. It turned out to be a substitute and she was Sri Lankan but on the South Coast via Manchester and Oldham. She had family in Oldham but had worked at Christies in Manchester.

She was a lovely girl but I found her quite hard to understand. I discovered that my PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) was just 0.29 set against 7.5 prior to the treatment. I also learnt that I would be checked every 6 months throughout my life with PSA tests just as I will be tested every two years with colonoscopies. How lucky am I?

The number of people who have checked in with me since I got my results is quite humbling. It took me an hour to reply to everybody when I got home. Friends, relatives and neighbours showed touching concern and mutual delight. And yet, I have a strange sense of anti-climax. I remember the last day of a school year when the car would be packed ready for travel. We would close school about 1.00 pm. get in the car and drive to Hull Docks. Drive on board the P&O Hull – Zeebrugge ferry and go to our cabin where we would order a drink. Just when you would expect relaxation and anticipation of 6 weeks freedom to kick in, I would be bathed in a wave of anti-climax. Not until the next morning when we drove off into Europe did I feel like life had re-started.

Been a strange day all round. Drove to Sainsburys via the coast to get a snack for a celebration Lunch along with a bottle of Fizz. Bit of a shock at checkout when the bill came out at £263.93. When I checked, it included a slice of Peppered Steak costing £211.11. When I pointed that out to the cashier, she just laughed and said that was happening regularly. She removed the steak item and all was well.

Saturday, 30th December, 2023

Just gone down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky …. We are celebrating our 45th Wedding Anniversary and there is no better way to do it than to walk in the sunshine with the sound of the waves crashing on the pebble beach. Quite astonishing to think it is 45 years since that day and to review everything that has followed from it, the things we have done over that time, the happiness and sadness of that span of time and there has been plenty of both.

On reflection, yesterday was a good day, a releasing day that will allow us to plan to travel, to meet people to revisit past times and forge new friendships with new places. That is what life is ultimately about. This morning I have heard from dozens of ex-pupils, 40 friends and relatives who don’t mention me but say Pauline looks just the same as ever and taken a phone call from my past in North Wales.

David Beasley was widowed 3 years ago and sounded terribly lonely. Now, at the age of 82, he has a new girlfriend and and sounds as if he’s 32! It was delightful to hear him keen to talk about new love for an old girlfriend and the plans he hoped would come to pass. Hope springs eternal just like the sea offers eternity!

To finish the day, we are going to watch a movie – Sheridan Smith in The Castaways and binge on a homemade, seafood pizza from Pauline’s new, pizza oven.

Sunday, 17th December, 2023

A mild, windless but grey day. Looks like we’ve got a dry week ahead. Our electrician is coming round tomorrow to work on our garden lighting so dry weather is important. We have a relatively quiet week ahead although I will be giving pints of blood on Friday from which my PSA and Testosterone levels will be assessed prior to my summary diagnosis at a meeting a week later with the Oncologist.

Of course, there will be lots of trips to Sainsburys and Waitrose this week as Chef ensures everything is ready for her catering experience in Surrey in a week. It seems impossible to go through the doors in the supermarket and emerge without spending £150.00 at least 3 times a week at the moment. How we do it I don’t know. Where we put it I don’t know.

Well, chef wasn’t satisfied with her Christmas cakes so they had to be produced all over again. A ‘trial’ Turkey had to be cooked to produce the perfect stock for sauce on the day. Stuffing had to be ‘trialled’ in order to decide which one would be served on the day. So, I suppose, Christmas is being funded twice this year but, it gives chef pleasure to experiment and get things right so why should I complain.

Someone in our village drew our attention to this local advert which rather puts us to shame in our self-indulgence. How wonderful, though, if you are hard up, to have this opportunity although I would like to see what you get for it. Our ‘trial turkey’ cost £28.00 on its own.

Christmas is always an awkward time when there is no politics to be involved in and I am scabbling around for things to entertain me. In the Gym, I’m only about half way through the Spy Drama series, Spooks. I am absolutely hooked and don’t notice the exercise at all as soon as the drama comes on. In fact, I get so absorbed, I am in danger of falling off the treadmill at times.

In the evenings, we try to watch some things together in the Lounge. Currently, we have two things on the go. On Netflix, we are watching the last series of The Crown. As a republican, I was shocked to find I love this. After all, it is our history and it does rather bring the Royal family’s dirty linen into view. Unfortunately, I was shocked how moved I was in the latest episode and I almost felt sorry for Charles. I must be going gaga!

Actually, it was the drama of any parent with their obnoxious and recalcitrant teenage child. Just a phase to be borne. No one escapes growing up just as none of us escapes growing old … and wrinkly.

If you can get a subscription into Apple TV app on your television if only for a month, one of the best drama series I’ve seen for a long time which is suddenly being raved about all over the media is available. Slow Horses is the most unlikely Spy Thriller starring a scruffy, unkempt, unhygienic Gary Oldman.

It is brilliantly and a little alternatively acted although it takes an episode or two to get really involved. It is well worth the effort. Series Three is just in the process of being released but there are two, earlier and essential series to watch now. I recommend it to you.

You may notice that I am also starting to assemble a list of podcasts on the right hand column of the Blog. They are all political discussions but I find them absorbing to listen to.

Monday, 18th December, 2023

Two workers here this morning – window cleaner and electrician. Windows cleaned for Christmas (What am I saying?) and the garden lighting has shorted after a bout of rain. Looks like some has got in to one of the fifteen junction boxes on the fences. Both lads are really lovely people trying genuinely hard to do a good job. I don’t begrudge them anything they charge me for the work. Actually, our window cleaner has charged us the same fee of £18.00 since we arrived in this house 7 years ago. Little Daryl, the electrician, hasn’t billed us for any of the last three jobs. I think he views himself as an agent of Help the Aged.

I’m really lucky to have lovely, generous friends. They have helped get me through the past year. We are all similar ages. Many of us talk most days – just chit-chat, daily detail, inconsequential stuff but what has come out more than anything else is that so many things affect us all. The ‘freedom’ of Retirement can soon and so easily become the ‘desert’ of freedom from work.

Although I don’t know what the verdict will be at the end of the month, the symptoms of the treatment are suddenly showing signs of improvement. It suddenly dawned on me over the weekend when I read an article about a new drug called Veozah being formally approved to prevent menopausal hot flushes. Typical, I thought after I’ve suffered them for months. Then I suddenly realised, I hadn’t experienced a bad episode for days.

Also, and I hesitate to observe it publicly but, there are hints of my libido returning. When I was tested a couple of months ago, my PSA had fallen from 7.5 to 0.23. My Testosterone level should normally be in the teens but was reduced to 0.89. I will be interested to learn the result in a couple of weeks because my body says it will be getting back to normal.

The electrician told me he didn’t want paying but he would like a couple of bottles of champagne from my wine racks. We wished each other Happy Christmas and he went off singing. Lovely lad – well, he’s 48. He Home-Schools three kids, is renovating a big, old house and is doing music A Level Music at Worthing College in his spare time. You have to admire someone so committed.

Quite a few newsletters arrive in cards at this time of year and it’s always good to catch up. Unfortunately, one shock announced the untimely death of one of Pauline’s Assistants when she managed the School’s Pastoral system. We haven’t seen Trevor who was a couple of years older than us and from Rawtenstall in Lancashire since 2007 although we usually got a card from him each year. Today, we heard that he had died which, at 74, is something of a shock.

Tuesday, 19th December, 2023

Depressingly dark and very wet day. Really gets to me. Need people and and contact to keep me sane. Christmas is a time when the jungle drums of news bring contact with friends across my timeline of life. I don’t let people go however much they want to hide. Yesterday, I wrote about about Trevor, one of Pauline’s workers, who died a couple of weeks ago

If you know me, you will not be surprised that I followed up this news with some research. It is what I do. Nobody’s secrets are safe. Nobody hides for long. Trevor, was borne in 1950 and was almost exactly a year older than me my web information tells me. He hit the local news headlines last year when he went to a football match and collapsed. It was reported in the Lancashire Telegraph.

Trevor had obviously suffered a heart attack in about the safest place – a football ground staffed with medical specialists. I then found this from just over a month later and Trevor, looking extremely ill to those who knew him, was back at the football club.

I shared this information in the jungle of ex-school workers and, in doing so, received lots of interesting and sad news. Julie from Dukinfield told me about her husband, Steve, who is 73 and was an PE teacher in my school and is now in a Dementia Care Home. That change has happened over the past 12 months. Steve had been a Man. Utd apprentice but failed to make the first team and struggled to cope with rejection. I know how he felt. Julie’s Mum is also in Dementia Care and her Daughter-in-Law has been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer of the spine. She is in her mid-30s and has two, small children.

Must admit, I suddenly started to think how lucky I was and how important it is to embrace the ones I love more closely. Hard luck ones I love!

Wednesday, 20th December, 2023

The year is drawing rapidly to a close. As I said yesterday, lives are slowly fading into the West. At 4.00 am this morning, I learnt that the Japanese revere the ornamental Blossom of trees because it reminds them of the transience of human lives.

I often said, I wouldn’t plant a Japanese Flowering Cherry because most of the year it was boringly plain and blossom was so short lived. Now, I understand.

Yesterday the fields were only grey with scattered snow,
And now the longest grass-leaves hardly emerge;
Yet her deep footsteps mark the snow, and go
On towards the pines at the hills’ white verge.

I cannot see her, since the mist’s white scarf
Obscures the dark wood and the dull orange sky;
But she’s waiting, I know, impatient and cold, half
Sobs struggling into her frosty sigh.

Why does she come so promptly, when she must know
That she’s only the nearer to the inevitable farewell;
The hill is steep, on the snow my steps are slow –
Why does she come, when she knows what I have to tell?A Winter’s Tale – D. H. Lawrence

Went down to the Fish Market this morning. The beach was rather cool and unforgiving. The sea had run away and the beach was largely deserted. There is a raw edge in the wind although the temperature has not gone below 10C/50F for three days and nights. Quite remarkable for the last week of December. Beginning to wonder when we will need to put the central heating on.

Out for a walk this afternoon, the breeze is freshening and the 11C feels colder. Walked faster to compensate. Going to finish off in the Gym where it’s a lot warmer.

Thursday, 21st December, 2023

A lovely warm and sunny day. Celebrated by visiting the local tip. The house and garden is heaving a huge sight of relief at ridding themselves of so many items surplus to our requirements – an old sewing machine, an old kitchen bin, a rarely used barbecue, huge boxes in which their replacements arrived, etc..

I love a good clear-out with the potential for starting again. The people who staff our tip are lovely and go out of their way to help. This morning a Romanian girl in Council uniform but with make-up as if she was going out Clubbing leapt up to help me by carrying boxes of stuff to the appropriate bins. Made me feel old, Dear Reader.

When I got home, I found a letter had arrived from the Department for Gastroenterology at Worthing Hospital confirming that they would invite me for a colonoscopy in February. Just shows that if you are prepared to write to people and make a cogent case then the NHS takes you seriously and provides what’s required. I now have the Consultant’s phone number and email and he can’t escape. I will use this link for the next 30 years. I never let go.

As a result of hearing about the sad death of one of our former collegues and the decline into Dementia of another, I have been banging the jungle drums and, already, the network has risen up in support. I have been contacted by wives this morning reporting the waves of support they are being offered and thanking me for raising the news in the community.

Apparently, there is something called Storm Pia hitting the North of England today. The local newspapers featured this in Sheffield and this in Manchester. Flights were being cancelled in Manchester and advice was not to travel.

So often it is the coasts that get high winds. It is nice to be the exception this time. Before using the Gym, I am cleaning it this afternoon while my chef is curing a side of salmon for smoked salmon salad at Christmas – Stage 1 wrapped in coat of salt, sugar and dill, wrapped in cling film and weighted down on a tray in the fridge for 24 hrs. This will removed a lot of moisture from the fish. Meanwhile, my seamstress is turning up 4 pairs of trousers for me. I think I’m shrinking!

Thursday, 22nd December, 2023

After the longest night of the Year, a gorgeous day of blue sky and long, low, sunshine. Had to go to Sainsburys. Mistake! It was very busy. I love people …. but I don’t love them that much.

I had a dear friend who died about 25 years ago. He was a teacher in my school. He taught me so much about the job and about life. Sam was a wonderful human being. He was also an international Rugby League referee. He helped me from the early 1970s when, as his Assistant, I was going through very difficult times. It is something I will never forget. Sam’s wife, Pat, was a P.E. teacher at Bluecoat School. Today I learnt that she is in a Care Home. Sam’s daughter teaches at Hulme Grammar and contacted me this morning.

People are important. Pat is clearly very unwell. I must get up to the North to see her. I have contacted her at the Care Home this morning. Sam would be so proud of his son who trained as an accountant but who I have traced on Linkedin. He has obviously become a business leader. Until recently, he was Chief Exec. of Homeserve.

My friend, Julie, in North Yorkshire, lives alone but is with her family for Christmas and looks so much happier to be with others. She is with her son and daughter-in-Law.

Christmas, as a religious event, means absolutely nothing to me. In fact, the whole thing means very little but, the whole people-thing really gets to me and underlines our timelines, our distance, our value and our loss. It has taught me so much in recent times about how much I need that contact after decades of telling myself that I don’t.

I thought I would place on record for friends to access the young people – now all in their 70s – who were in my College Year. I just regret those who were missing on the day.

Friday, 23rd December, 2023

Why does the world go mad for the sake of a couple of days? I was up exceptionally early – too early to face anything apart from a glass of orange juice. It was so dark outside I had to put the garden lights on. Fortunately, they have been ‘repaired’ by our electrician recently.

Before 7.00 am, I was driving Chef to Sainsburys ‘to beat the crowds’. All the produce for a Christmas meal has to be ‘the freshest possible’. Shiitake mushrooms are on the Starter menu. Anyway, I won’t trouble you with this nonsense other than to say, the shelves were very sparsely stocked – hardly any Lettuces, absolutely no Skimmed Milk. What is the world coming to?

Received a lovely Hamper of produce from a farm shop about 5 minutes away from where we lived in Huddersfield. Bolster Moor Farm Shop was a regular for us 20 years ago and memories of our former life flooded back.

Our lovely next door neighbour, Dee, stopped by as she went out on her walk. She has just flown back from a few days in Germany visiting her parents. It was nice to hear her say that they couldn’t be bothered about Christmas. They aren’t going to do anything special although she would like to spend it in the sunshine in Dubai where her daughter is. I could quite happily join her but my wife will not go to a country where women are considered second class citizens.

I’ve been driving Hondas for almost 40 years. We bought a new, Honda Accord in 1984. It cost £7,500.00. I remember being delighted to have an automatic gearing and air conditioning for the first time although certainly the best thing of all was anti-lock brakes.

We have been buying new, Honda CRVs every couple of years for just over 25 years. Every new model brings new facilities and new procedures. I always start off with the best of intentions when I drive the new car home. I take the 500 page Users Manual into the house and sit down to read it. After 20 mins, I just want to get going and expect the cars accessories and procedures to be intuitive. They are not always and, by the time I am trading the car in, I am getting to grips with some of the least obvious changes.

We’ve had this latest model almost 10 months and I feel quite confident that I know everything about it …. well I did until yesterday when I spotted a a Headlight Symbol with an ‘A’ in it on the dashboard. ‘A’ for Automatic? Well, yes. ‘A’ is for Automatic High Beam – Well, yes – but it is also for Active Cornering Lights.

Apparently, the car’s camera takes the view of on-coming traffic and automatically dips the lights at the correct point but also the lights read the turning of the steering wheel and actively focus the lights on the corner the car is turning into. Well, I didn’t know that.

Sunday, 10th December, 2023

If there is an illustration of my strength to persist, refusal to give in, to not let go, to not be rebuffed, this is it! The Blog is now opening its 16th year. It has surprised me. If you stick with it, Dear Reader, this year will reveal much of past and present, of interest and embarrassment, of pain and pleasure, of sadness and happiness, of loss, betrayal and retribution. What have I got to lose? At the age of nearly 73, there is little to lose. Tell the truth and tell it like it is. This will be the motto informing Year 16 of the Blog.

In that vein, my book, which has been rumbling along in the background, is going to be a dramatised autobiography. I have quite an interesting, romantic, dramatic story to tell. At last, I feel able to tell it openly and explicitly. I am going to spend the next few months working that theme up. It will benefit from history which is my forte. Going back to the 1950s, at last, I feel I have thrown the shackles off enough to take risks with the narrative.

I do spend a large chunk of my time in two places on my own – the Office and the Gym. My Chef/Housekeeper spends her time in the Kitchen, the Utility Room and the Ironing Room. When we analyse it, we spend more time apart than we do together. No wonder she’s so happy!

The conservatory doors have been open a lot recently as Spring has arrived. The song thrushes have delighted us with their shrill songs as they anticipate breeding season. Shrubs are bursting back into flower and bees were optimistically exploring the garden this morning.

Greece and Northern England have been experiencing Winter conditions. Two past lives that seem so far away and yet still so close. Backdrops for a story.

Monday, 11th December, 2023

A beautiful, warm day of blue sky and sunshine. Outside in the garden, chef is making turkey stock to tantalise the local cats and save our house being permeated with the smells for the next week. Well she managed to do one batch and then the pressure cooker, which is about 20 years old, finally stopped performing. We have to collect a new one this afternoon so work can continue.

Well, I thought that would be it. It came with a 10 year warranty. Pauline would be 82 before she needs a new one. Unfortunately, Chef got it home and decided it was rubbish. It’s going back tomorrow and the search is on for a replacement. I’m in the Office, monitoring the Covid Inquiry and writing my Christmas Newsletter which involves reviewing the year of the Blog as an aide memoire.

Lovely Margaret in Marsden, West Yorkshire has sent us Christmas presents – a hamper of wines and cheeses and biscuits from a local farm shop and a book especially for me.

It’s certainly nice to have got rid of him. The colour comic readers have moved on to ‘small boats’ and Nigel Farage in the jungle and other serious, political issues.

Tuesday, 12th December, 2023

So warm today. I’m going to have to go back to shorts. The neighbours are sick of me going out naked anyway. Had to take my wife to the Beauty Clinic first thing. She’s having a ‘Facial’ and not before time.

I am just the chauffeur. Parking is so difficult because the service is so popular. I just don’t understand it. Can you imagine having this done to you, Dear Reader, …. how ever much you might need it!

Fresh from her hydradermie, or whatever they call it nowadays, Chef has chosen a replacement pressure cooker which is going to cost me £250.00!! Let’s hope it is worth it.

Apart from exercise my instructions are to print the Newsletter and print the labels for Christmas Cards. I can’t even write my own name nowadays never mind write Happy Christmas. It is weird but I never use a pen only a keyboard. I am exposed as an idiot immediately I try anything normal.

Chatted to JohnR this morning. He never stops and is constantly doing good works with disparate groups of people around the North of England. At the weekend, he was organising a carol concert at Fountains Abbey and the next day entertaining a disabled member of our College men’s group in Morecambe. He puts me to shame.

A couple of days ago, he was entertaining a couple of old girls from 50 years ago. I don’t know where he gets his energy from.

Well, I’ve hit the jackpot with the latest pressure cooker as I might have hoped from its cost. It is really so much more because it steams, dry roasts, bakes, dehydrates and even makes yoghurt. My chef is positively orgasmic with its facilities. There’s always a way!

Wednesday, 13th December, 2023

Very mild but grey day. Our diaries are completely empty although we didn’t manage to get the Christmas cards completed yesterday so that is the main job. I love doing Christmas cards. Well, that’s not quite true. I love communicating with people and getting things back but I do employ a writer to … write the cards and I do employ a licker to …. lick the envelopes. I employ a stamper to … put the stamps on and give me alcohol to get over the shock of the price of postage.

My job … man’s work is to produce the address labels. I merge a database of names and addresses into two, separate printers. I use a laser printer with label sheets for the majority and a separate label printer for individual ones. Of course, the production process is a thing of beauty as you would expect.

The world is rather bleak at the moment. The shoreline is empty and forbidding. Even the gulls are flying solo. Can you imagine the desperation required to launch out in a rubber dinghy on this sort of day and this sort of sea? Even the Good Samaritan would blanch and yet there are so many, ‘so-called’, Christians screaming, “We’re full!”

Thursday, 14th December, 2023

A grey morning and not warm. We actually went down to 3C/37F. What is happening? At least we didn’t need central heating. If anything, the house is too warm. Got a series of Office jobs to do today and expecting a phone consultation from a Worthing Gastroenterologist. It is almost two years since I had a colonoscopy and the consultant advised me to repeat it after two years.

I copied in my GP and she obviously followed that up because I was walking through Sainsburys on Monday when I received a call to arrange this consultation. I thought it was a scam at first because I am getting so many of those at the moment. There’s nothing worse than being pestered with texts and calls is there? I’ve had so many, I’ve developed quite a hostile response. I was about to launch into one of those when I suddenly joined up the dots and put on my natural charm. Rather than pay for a private procedure, I am going to push for one on the NHS which I’ve paid for already and spend the £2500.00 on something more enjoyable than a camera up the bum!

Chatted to Kevin this morning about how old we are. He’s as obsessed as I am. Julie sent me a homemade card which she said featured the Boat of Garten. I couldn’t see a boat so I had to Google it. Turns out Boat of Garten is a Scottish village. Weird people the Scots!

I am now just two weeks away from hearing the results of my cancer treatment. Getting a little nervous. Perhaps it will mark the end of a chapter and Health Bulletins can be abandoned. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Had a card from my doctor in Yorkshire who bought our house in the delightful conservation area village of Helme. He still lives in Slade House 23 years after we left it but one of his sons has become a doctor and he tells me he is working just a few miles away from us in Hove. Have to look him up. Never know when you might need a doctor.

Looks like I’m £2,500.00 better off tonight. Received a phone call from Gastroenterology to say I could have an NHS colonoscopy in February after all. Really good people.

Friday, 15th December, 2023

People or places? What is important to you? Be surprised if the majority didn’t go for people but I’m always surprised how strongly people express pride in place. I was listening to a discussion on the radio this morning about people’s pride in Great Britain, in the Monarchy, in the Union Jack and in the National Anthem. I take no pride in any of these things. They are complete anathema to me. They are jingoistic symbols. They also betray any understanding of the English language.

Pride is a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements. Nationality and symbols of nationhood are no achievement of mine. If they are an achievement of anything, it would be populist jingoism and insular self-interest. For me, it is people who make the difference even though I love places, different places, exploring places. I will leave the nationalist symbols to the Mail/Express readers of a fading generation.

I have no idea why I live in Worthing. I just turned up here and settled down 7 years ago and I love it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to experience other places. I do but I love being here. I was fascinated to find my preference confirmed in a recent newspaper article which found that Worthing was statistically the best place in UK for longevity. We have more centenarians than anywhere else. I want to live to 100 and I’m staying here … for now.

I was interested and a little surprised to find that the city of Chester had been voted the Most Beautiful in the World ahead of Venice. Chester is lovely and I have nice memories of it but I wouldn’t have thought it would ever challenge somewhere as spectacular as Venice. That would take my vote every time. You would have to go a long way for me to beat Bologna or the gorgeous Lucca.

Maybe I am attracted to the unfamiliar, the sound of a foreign language and the challenge of a foreign culture. Maybe I am too familiar with the stereotypical Elizabethan architecture that begins to look a little too ‘tourist plastic’ to be true.

If I was to choose a photo of Chester, there are many things other than the shopping area that I would go to like the banks of the River Dee. But none of these places mean anything without people and nowhere is more important.

It’s 3.00 pm on a grey, wintry afternoon and I’ve still got my Gym work to do. Going to force myself now … well, after I’ve cleared a backlog of 377 emails. That’s nothing. I had 465 yesterday.

Saturday, 16th December, 2023

A grey and rather damp morning. Finding it hard to motivate myself. Suddenly the post bursts through the letterbox and I jump into life. I open all post, like some demented secretary, whoever it’s addressed to. There is no privacy in our house. I like hearing from people. Before the post arrived, I had contacted 11 friends and family on Whatsapp and another in France on Messenger, one in America on email and one in Lancashire by text.

Before all that, I had chauffeured my Housekeeper to the hairdressers and returned to my Office. Most people contact me almost instantly although some are not quite awake and some don’t know what to say. Some think they need something clever to respond and take there time over it. I just like the back and forth of communication.

That’s why I like Christmas cards. I like sending them around the country and around the world – to America, to Australia, to Greece, France, to Scotland, to Wales, to Ireland and, of course around England.

This morning I heard from Boston, Masachusetts, from my boyhood friend, Jonathan who has lived there since 1971. He is mad keen on boats which is one reason why Boston appealed to him. He tried to get me interested in Sailing. He was entirely unsuccessful, I’m afraid. I nearly sank us just as I did on the River Dee in a row boat with another friend. I also heard from my old Grammar School friend, Jonny, who has lived in Arras, France 1970.

We have exchanged the same card with our friends who have lived in Edinburgh and lectured in Art at the University there since 1976. One of them is retired an the other is still working in 3D design and printing of jewellery. We last saw them when we went up there about 5 years ago.

Christmas is one of those events that links people and places, activities and memories across the years. This morning, with hair newly cut, Housekeeper has been finishing the cakes. She has only made three but the main two are for members of the family.

These cakes will be taken up to Surrey. One will be eaten there and the other may last long enough to make it across the Atlantic to Florida. These Christmas preparations have punctuated my Decembers for the past 45 years.

Sunday, 3rd December, 2023

This week completes my 15th year of posting my daily dribblings. It almost coincides with and shadows my Retirement. Lots of people contact me about it and others just read. It has been criticised as self indulgent, self pitying, sleep-inducing and praised as thoughtful, interesting, and amusing. (You know who you are.) I don’t write it for you. I write it completely for myself. I write it to remember. I write to fill in the gaps when I don’t remember any more. Even so, all are welcome. I will miss you if you leave.

The Blog is a tool to cope with my life’s ups and downs. Writing things down forces me to think it through and come to terms with them. Some people bottle these things up. Some talk about them. I write. In my view it’s better out than in. I have been doing it all my life in one guise or another. I would write letters, Newsletters, a Family website, my own, personal website and then added my Blog. The Blog form was made for people like me. You will know that the word Blog is an amalgam of Web Log.

At the time I was publishing my own websites, I was also developing, publishing and persuading staff to use school websites and intranets. I have spent the last 25 years improving my technical skills in web construction and presentation, learning how to use professional web design software and employing professional technicians to help me. Nowadays, anybody with a little nouse can do it without investing so much time learning the skills.

While I’m writing today, I am listening to a childhood hero of mine – Bob Dylan, the pop poet – who I came to while in Grammar School:

How does it feel, ah how does it feel?
To be on your own, with no direction home
Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone.Bob Dylan – 1965

I tell the world about my problems but I was moved by a friend of mine from North Yorkshire who told me yesterday that he was depressed and lacking joie de vivre. He loves the sunshine and warmth of Spain and goes there many times a year. At home after an operation, he has the misfortune of snow and ice. He thinks he is suffering from SAD syndrome and that can be very debilitating. At least there will be a simple solution to his sadness when he is able to fly away to the sunshine.

Lots of friends around the country have snow and cold this weekend. JohnR was enthusiastically helping to arrange a candlelit carol service at Fountains Abbey in North Yorkshire this weekend. It has had to be cancelled. John Morris in Nottingham has lots of snow and Dave Weatherley in Bolton has snow. Dave Roberts in Rochdale has snow. I must admit, I am delighted to report that, as soon as our heating was fixed, it went so much warmer down here and we are 10C/50F today. If I ever see snow on the Sussex coast, I will be disappointed but be sure you will be the first to hear of it, Dear Reader.

Monday, 4th December, 2023

A depressing day of dark skies and fine, wetting rain. You would love it, Dear Reader. Actually, Lizzie Frainier, The Times Travel Editor chose a sunnier weekend and really loved it. She has written an up beat and enthusiastic article about visiting Worthing.

She was particularly impressed with the new restaurant, Perch on the Pier and the trendy, beachside Crab Shack. Forget wet Wales and come to sunny Worthing!

There is something none of us should be doing and that is putting things off. Time is so precious and current events teach us this every day. In the past week, two, major figures from Left Wing politics have died and both before they reached 80. First, the thoughtful, softly spoken economist, Alistair Darling died of cancer aged only 70.

And then, Glenys Kinnock, former teacher, MEP, Life Peer and wife of Labour Leader, Neil Kinnock died aged 79 after suffering Alzheimer’s for 6 years.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.T.S. Eliot – The Hollow Men – 1925

None of us know. None of us really know what will happen. It can happen instantly or very, very slowly. It can happen now or it can happen long into the future. All we do know is that it will happen. The time to reach out is now. Sometimes it means so much.

Tuesday, 5th December, 2023

Really not sleeping well at the moment and I’m still using the World Service to block out thoughts aggravating my mind. I’m trying desperately to control myself. At 3.30 this morning I was listening to information about a breakthrough treatment for prostate cancer which is being rolled out to NHS clinics across the country.

H.I.F.U. uses high-frequency sound waves to destroy tumours, with much milder side-effects than traditional therapies for more advanced cancers. Just my luck and story of my life.

As the Blog reaches another milestone, I have been thinking about legacy and gravestones and the latest hot topic – Artificial Intelligence which many of us have been using for years without realising – and it’s application to becoming immortal. I’m sure you would be happy for me and my Blog to go on in perpetuity. Oh Yes, you would!

With HereAfter AI, users record answers to interview questions and upload photos while they’re still alive, leaving behind a virtual version of themselves. Grief Tech is part of a larger trend of using technology to cope with loss. The subject records ideas, beliefs, activities, experiences – sounds like a Blog – and then the AI software uses that data to populate its program which bereaved loved ones can then communicate with, interrogate and be consoled by. So, Dear Reader, I am with you for ever!

… Let me take you down ’cause I’m going to …. the beach again. This morning, the sun has definitely got his hat on as we walked on the beach where the River Arun runs into the English Channel.

At least you no longer have to worry about the ongoing existence of the Blog. It will be there for you as long as you are …. there.

Wednesday, 6th December, 2023

A beautiful day outside and we went for a walk in the afternoon but the morning was given to reading, writing, politics, PMQs, Johnson blustering through the Covid Inquiry and Braverman giving her Resignation Speech. Kevin & I had a chat about his new, SAD light which arrived this morning.

My Housekeeper is running through Christmas preparations. Neither of us is particularly committed to the Festival but these things have to be faced. Her responsibility is Catering. She has already produced a Pudding & two Cakes. She is making a series of other Sweets for diners and is planning the Starters in advance. Endless lists are prepared. Huge trips to Sainsburys are planned. There are Christmas card lists to go through and presents to order or search out.

None of these activities are begrudged. None are subject to affordability. The expense is largely irrelevant. We are lucky enough or astute enough to not need to stint ourselves or others.

It is incredible that a large section of the population are condemned to starving to support their families, are condemned to freezing to afford to eat, are condemned to suffering to give their children a Christmas present. I remember when I was Head of an Oldham school, one of my parents came to beg me for help because she had had to break the gas meter to steal the cash inside in order to buy food for her kids at Christmas. Arrested, she was expecting prison and her children in Care. She wanted me to write to the court in mitigation. Why should anyone be put in that position?

In the past couple of days, our bank accounts have received our professional pensions, our state pensions, £500.00 for two Winter Fuel Payments and £20.00 for Christmas Bonuses. We are not inclined to turn down our entitlements but we do see the miserable irony of our bounty set against others poverty. When you read the newspaper reports into poverty, you realise the painful disparity across society.

Thursday, 7th December, 2023

A grey, boringly dull day which is dominated by Medical events. Pauline & I pledged that, when we got old, we would not allow medical matters to dominate our thoughts and actions, that we would take more responsibility for our own health. Well, I’ve smashed that idea this year completely haven’t I. Sorry.

I’ve been testing my INR (blood coagulation) for 14 years since I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation. I do it once a week at home and record it on a spreadsheet. There aren’t many people in the country who can say that. It’s no big deal and I wouldn’t even mention it if there was anything more interesting going on. There is only one event that I really care about at the moment and that will be on December 29th when I will hear how my cancer is developing.

Unfortunately, I am having to take Pauline to Worthing hospital this afternoon because we are concerned that the Covid Booster has reset her heart rhythm. She is having tests to determine what the problem is. For someone who has never had a problem with her blood pressure in her life, this is concerning. I never want to involve you in my problems but I have to write them out.

Life is subject to the guillotine of fate. We never know what is going to happen. That is why we have to act while we can and not wait. I have friends who put off and put off and …. That is fatal. You have to act, risk, try, whatever the outcome.

Do you know who this is? I booked him to come to my school about 30 years ago to speak to a cohort of youngsters about writing. Benjamin Zephaniah was an oral poet, novelist, playwright, children’s writer and reggae artist. He even appeared in ‘Peaky Blinders’. I invited him to come to my school to talk to a group of kids who were ethnically marginalised. He was shy, unassuming and absolutely delightful. It was announced this morning that he had died of a brain tumour which was only diagnosed 7 weeks ago. He was just 65.

You never know what can happen. If you want to, do it now! Never delay because you don’t know what can happen to destroy your plans. Believe me, Dear Reader. Don’t delay. Do it today!

Friday, 8th December, 2023

Lovely, warm and sunny day that feels like Springtime. The birds are singing, bees are buzzing and butterflies are fluttering by in abundance. It really raises the spirits. Did a long walk this morning and everywhere feels as if it is celebrating the season. On that walk through a housing development near the park, I was struck by how the world looked like very early Autumn …. in mid-December! It feels quite liberating.

I get sent news from areas around the country. Yorkshire is suffering dreadful flooding. Manchester had strong rain throughout yesterday evening but had also experienced beautiful night skies of the aurora borealis type. It seems appropriate for Manchester to enjoy the Northern Lights especially in the Northern Quarter with Chanel’s Métiers d’Art show.

Are you sending Christmas Cards this year? Last year we went to America before Christmas and contacted people with a newsletter in October to say we wouldn’t be at home to send cards. There are lots of people on the card list who we haven’t seen for years but with whom I don’t want to lose contact. For quite a while, though, posted cards have seemed very last century. Each year for the past 5 we have debated Digital v Analogue. After a family meeting today, we’ve agreed to send one more year’s cards but to include the message that we will be going digital next year. We will make a contribution to Cancer Research in lieu of cards and postage.

The Post Office will go out of business next year but, for now, don’t forget to run to collect the post when it comes through the door because it will, I promise, include a card from me … at some time. The other thing I guarantee is that it will feature a robin of some sort.

By this time in the afternoon, I announce that I’m going in the Garage/Gym. Yes, the building is designed as a Garage but it is now entirely a Gym / Cooking Area with Freezer / Wine Cellar / Mezanine Storage area. For more than 40 years, I have parked in my garage. This one has not been used as a garage for over 3 years. I suddenly realised that it no longer feels unusual, uncomfortable or difficult. I also realise that I clean the car less because it is always outside and subject to the weather. Anyway, you go in the Garage. I’m going in the Gym.

Saturday, 9th December, 2023

Never give in, Dear Reader. The day started off in heavy rain but is now extremely warm and sunny. A long walk is prescribed but I have spent the morning re-reading a year’s Blog in preparation for writing my Christmas Newsletter. When your memory is as fuzzy as mine, running back over your year is an interesting prospect.

We heard overnight that the Love Story was over. Ryan O’Neal, one of the stars of the 1970 film had died aged 82. He had …. prostate cancer and was diagnosed at the age of 72. Oh, Hell! Oh well. That’s me warned.

Unlike me, the rest of the world seems to be looking forward to, preparing for, Christmas. My old friend, JohnR, was performing with the Folk Group he started almost 50 years ago to reflect where he lived and spent his life.

Our street is starting to acquire the festivity that the residents seem to enjoy. I just keep my head down and let it pass. Actually, we are having roast turkey for Supper tonight. The chef bought one yesterday to produce stock for the Christmas gravy. Nothing is left to chance in this house!

Sunday, 19th November, 2023

A new week. Everything changes but nothing changes. Plus ça change. Plus c’est la même chose. I haven’t changed.

A painful and uncomfortable day yesterday. I had to turn round it was so difficult. Don’t know why but it all felt as if it was deliberately engineered to cause pain. Made me review past times, ask myself what I had done wrong. I hate failure. I can’t accept it. I don’t want to be a bad person. My job is to make people happy.

I will never give up. I will always keep trying. I know I can be annoying but there will be a time when my tenacity will come through …. Non deficiere! Looking back over the mistakes, the misjudgements, the losses is how I assess life. Pauline and I talked it over last evening. Honesty is so important. We have almost agreed on our understanding of what happened and what I will do about it. It won’t be easy but it has to be faced.

After a sleepless night, I got up this morning knowing how to go forward. After Breakfast, I went down to the beach to clear my head and blow the thoughts away. It was incredibly warm. Battled down the coast road against a strong, onshore breeze.

Went into the Café on the Beach for a coffee but it was absolutely rammed and I couldn’t face the 30 mins queue for a table. Drove home to drink it in comfort. Have to spend home time in the Gym.. The targets have to be met. Non deficiere!

This Summer, it will be 10 years since we left our Greek home and left the wonderful, Cycladic island of Sifnos. If things go well for me, I am determined to return. It is in my DNA. Never leave the past behind. Always return to touch base!

Monday, 20th November, 2023

A horrible, horrible day. Dark, windy and very, very wet. Can you believe it, the window cleaner has turned up! I am hunkering down at home. The furthest I will stray is across the garden to the Gym. Can’t even face contacting friends today. I did receive a photo of a crash in Oldham last night which brought back all sorts of memories.

This was a car that crashed into an old, Nat.West building on the junction of Featherstall Road North and Middleton Road. It connected with me because I had gone into that bank in the past and we used it for kids doing Work Experience at one point. But just look at the dilapidation, and harshness of that wet, old street late at night in the North of England. Boarded up and crumbling, this building is a thing of the past. Like so much else, it has definitely seen better days.

At least it’s a warm day. I’m still living in shorts and tee shirt and have the fan on in the Office this morning. It is going to be a politics day. Such a delight to watch the Tories flounder through their final months of government, fighting like rats in a sack. The Times cartoon this morning shows a severely injured Sunak cobbling together the Plane of a Rwanda Policy with bits of wood while urging on his hapless Foreign Secretary, ironically named Cleverley, to pedal faster before they inevitably fall off the white cliffs off Dover.

Because I am so exciting, one of the things I am following today is the live broadcast of the Covid Inquiry. Today, it is Patrick Vallance whose diary notes include the observation that he considered Boris Johnson to be bi-polar, manic in his decision making rather like Cummings described him as a shopping trolley wildly veering all over the place. Johnson also had problems understanding and remembering the scientific concepts being explained to him.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay …Christina Rossetti, ‘Remember’ – 1861

I don’t know about you, Dear Reader, but I have quite a good memory although it is not always conventional. I find that I remember lines of poetry and sections from novels that I haven’t read since the late 1960s. I tended to remember things best using rhythm. This doesn’t work for everyone. I can have a string of numbers – a telephone number, for example – rattled off to me and I can hold it in my head because I have received it with a rhythm which replays through my memory. I have an online calendar but I can hold dates and events for quite a while without referring to it. My wife says I have selective memory because I choose what I want to forget. I think we all do, don’t we?

Tuesday, 21st November, 2023

An overcast and cool day. Didn’t sleep well last night. Rather turning in upon myself although I had to respond to Jill’s lovely message asking after my welfare and I had to contact Kevin because he was going in to hospital for a second operation to straighten out his other hand. Like me, he got tired of waiting in the post-pandemic backlog and paid about £5,000 for his first operation. This second one is through the NHS and, when I contacted him, he had already been waiting for 4 hrs in a admission room without news of his procedure. Money makes all the difference to the ‘hotel’ conditions of the process if not the medical procedure itself.

Of course, no one can hide from the world completely and I have made so many connections that I can’t really retreat for long at all. I received a copy of the East Lothian Courier this morning. Not my usual reading but interesting none the less. I employed this girl to run the school’s Learning Resource Centre and great she was at it. Her husband, Steve, was employed in the School Office and her two daughters were pupils in school.

Unfortunately, the family were born with wanderlust and, after a few years, they moved on to a church in Derbyshire, a posting in the Falklands, managing a holiday rental business in the south of France, managing a farm in south Australia and now all the way up to Scotland. I missed them because they were just good people.

Going to France next week for a few days Christmas shopping. Be nice to get out of here and not hurting. Got to find a VPN (virtual private network) software to allow me to receive stuff on my laptop as if I am back in UK. I’m a bit disenchanted with my current Express VPN. Considering going back to NordVPN again. Anyone who has gone to a foreign hotel without VPN coverage will know of the pitfalls.

Wednesday, 22nd November, 2023

Lovely, sunny but cold morning. First thing over breakfast I like to touch base with friends. Asked Kevin about his night after a difficult and very painful operation. Just to cheer him up, I listed all the benefits of being incapacitated for a couple of weeks: No washing for a fortnight. No housework. Total slave service. … Seemed to work.

This morning, I’ve driven Pauline to Southlands Hospital, Shoreham-by-Sea for an appointment at the Dermatology Clinic. Recently, she found her first ever wrinkle on her neck and panicked. Hope they sort her out. It’s costing me a fortune in face cream!

Doing some walking outside while she has her neck massaged. Maybe she’ll get her face cream on prescription. Am I sounding heartless? I’m not really. I’m secretly panicking too. I can’t be married to someone with wrinkles!!

… Well, that was a revelation. The consultant told Pauline that it wasn’t unusual for the odd wrinkle to appear after the age of 70. Who’d have thought it? Free Face Cream on prescription … for life. This is going to save me a fortune. It will subsidise my wine bill. Even better this morning, the carpark was packed but a car was vacating the best position leaving it for us and, as they drove out, they handed us their ticket which covered our appointment. Can life get any better?

Thursday, 23rd November, 2023

My first thought when I wake is my last thought when I go to sleep. It has been the same for decades. I suspect it will stay with me until I die.

In my beginning is my end. Now the light falls
Across the open field, leaving the deep lane
Shuttered with branches, dark in the afternoon.T. S. Elliot – Four Quartets

I was struck that these photographs of sunrise yesterday morning could just as easily have been ascribed to sunset in the evening. In my beginning is my end now the light falls.

I have been dogged by the domination of thought throughout my life. I live in my head a lot. My wife finds it very funny when I jump out of my skin as she walks, unannounced, into a room where I’m working. I find it embarrassing. It happens because I have to concentrate so intensely that I shut out the world completely. I lose sense of time. Often I forget to move at all and suddenly find I have cut off the blood supply and lost the feeling in my legs.

I have written before that we rarely now eat meat – perhaps once a week – and even more rarely buy processed food at all. Broke both those rules this morning when we went to our butchers and bought sausages to put in a dish of Cassoulet. Not just any old, supermarket sausages, of course. Our butcher makes wonderful sausages and we bought Gloucester Old Spot pork and Cumberland sausage. We could have had Venison and Lamb but pork is demanded for Cassoulet.

Got to clean the car ready for our French trip next week. I’ve been putting it off for weeks while I was driving to Brighton every day and feeling exhausted from the treatment. …..

….. It’s a beautiful, sunny and warm day and cleaning the car was actually quite enjoyable. It is about 9 months old and it’s only done about 4,500 miles. It is in its infancy and very easy to valet. I always do a leather treatment for the interior and sometimes use wheel and tyre treatments as well. All of these are supplied ‘free’ by Honda because they believe that examples of their cars being driven around in public looking good are the best advertisements. I have been buying and driving new Hondas for 40 years.

Friday, 24th November, 2023

Beautiful but chilly morning. Just to prove the point ….. In my beginning is my end … sunrise was glorious.

It is probably the same across the country. Julie reports bright but very cold on the North Yorkshire coast. JohnR says the same in Catterick and Kevin the same in Leeds. The one difference is that I’m the only one stupid enough to be walking round in shorts & tee shirt. Had to go down to the beachside to collect an order from the fishmongers.

I’ve had my haircut and beautiful I look, I have to admit. At least I don’t have to dye my hair. Going to France next week and it struck me that I go abroad more often than I visit places in UK. Haven’t been to London for quite a while.

In this week just over 10 years ago, we were staying in central London, shopping at Fortnum & Mason, Borough Market and snacking out at the Laduree on coffee and macarons. I must admit I’m not as comfortable in large cities as I am in the countryside but I love Covent Garden, the Opera House and the markets. London is an excitingly vibrant, multi-ethnic community with so much to offer. As long as you’ve got money, anything is possible.

The one thing it is hard to find is peace and solitude. Walking by the seashore down here in Sussex suits me better. OK, I might be boring but it is always best to admit the truth to oneself.

This afternoon, I have officiated in the final hour of a most beautiful creature. It has been enjoying a mild day of glorious sunshine, sipping the final flowers in the garden but, as the sun goes down and the temperature falls, he/she/it knows that all things come to an end. The struggle for life is at our core for all living things. A huge bumble bee took advantage of the open patio door and came into the warmth, to die. It was on its back and looked dead already. I lifted it with a tissue and it sprang back to life, righting itself and gripping the paper fiercely. Taking it out into the garden, I knew I was condemning it to certain death but there was no choice. Nature returning to nature.

In my beginning is my end now the light falls ……

Saturday, 25th November, 2023

Quite a cold night. We were down to 6C/43F at 4.00 am. Almost full moon and a sky full of stars last night. The weather is definitely changing. Winter is coming and warmth, friendliness and comfort is called for.

On this day, a couple of years ago, I received this from an old lady with limited digital skills. Bit shaky and out of focus, I know, but we have to make allowances for age. I remember thinking at the time, I could eat that! In fact, I have eaten dozens of those. Roast pheasant used to be a significant part of my diet.

Today, as I wrote a couple of days ago, meat like this doesn’t feature so much in our diet. Having said that, this morning, I am cooking a huge, Greek Beef Stifado. …. basically, beef stew with Mediterranean flavours. When it has had a day to mature, it will be portioned up and frozen for times when we need comfort food.

I think I’ve written before and you will have to forgive me for the repetition of an old man. When I was a child, we didn’t have a television. Not because we couldn’t afford one but because my parents were ideologically opposed to the idea. Much more important that the children concentrated on their school work, did their homework, didn’t get distracted by populist trash.

It wasn’t until I went home from College in the 1970s that I found a television had been installed and my Mother was already addicted to it. I do remember going to Grammar School where all the boys were discussing what they’d watched the night before and feeling totally left out. I think that’s why televisions and current affairs have been so important to me over the years. Our house has a television in every room apart from the bathrooms. Each of the 8 televisions is linked to Sky-Q so I can watch something in the Gym, pause it and carry on in the Office, pause it and carry on in the Lounge, pause it and finish it in the bedroom.

Today, I will be watching Spooks in the Gym while my Housekeeper will be watching Strictly Come Dancing in the Lounge. The day is so gorgeous and lonely that I had to go to the beach for the sunset. It was so beautiful, it made me weep. Think that we will have to leave this wonderful world! You should be here, Dear Reader, to share the utter joy and solitude of sunset on the Sussex coast.

Sunday, 12th November, 2023

A dark, dank, lonely morning. In the Office, watching political interviews. They are depressing other than for the latest opinion poll featured in The Sunday Times.

The election is likely to be this time next year but there could be a snap, Summer election if the Tories feel like they have a ‘window’. It’s going to be an interesting year for all sorts of reasons.

In the meantime, we have an Autumn Statement from the Chancellor to come soon and I am hoping to hear that he is actually going to make changes to ISAs. I’m always amazed how little people know about such things. Currently, we are only allowed to earn £1000.00 per year of investment income. So a couple can only make £2000.00 per year tax-free. Everything else just gets aggregated into all other income for tax purposes.

ISAs are the one, safe exception. They allow us to invest without tax liability. Unfortunately, that investment is limited to £20,000.00 per person per year. So only £40,000.00 per couple per year can be sheltered. It can be in the form of Cash, Bonds or Shares. For the past few years, returns on cash ISAs have been so poor as to be not worth the effort but now all that has changed. The best ISAs are paying 5.7%. The only problem is that we have to wait a full 12 months (from April 6th – New Tax Year) before the next £40,000.00 can be salted away.

It is rumoured that ISAs will be made more accessible which will be very welcome. Apparently, the idea is that the Chancellor wants to suck cash out of circulation to restrain spending and lower inflation. I will welcome it. It won’t make me vote Tory though.

Went out to Sainsburys to buy Pauline’s Christmas present this morning. I think it’s £42.00 well spent. What more could a woman want? She will cherish them for years.

Monday, 13th November, 2023

Lovely warm and sunny day. Sleeping for me (and with me) is quite troubled still. Although I think the effects of the hormone injections are starting to lessen with certainly less hot sweats, I’m a nightmare laying awake in bed. My thoughts drive me mad. I resort to distraction with the radio. What always surprises me is that I don’t wake up tired and it doesn’t affect my day. The effects of the radiotherapy which arrived after the first two weeks of treatment, are rather stronger and increasingly accentuated. I’m told that I can expect them to get worse for some time.

It will be two years in February since I had a colonoscopy which I had to pay for. I wrote to my GP after that to be asked to be put forward for an NHS procedure in February 2024 because the Nuffield consultant told me I should be checked every two years. I’ve written to my doctor today to ask if she has done that. We haven’t talked for over a year although I have seen other GPs in my surgery. I do try hard to take responsibility for my own health, exercising, dieting, self-testing, etc, although I’m sure there is much more I could do. My doctor recognises this and responds very positively.

I am happy to speak on the phone, to do a video consultation, to avoid making excessive calls on her time and I think I get treated well because of that. Of course, lots of the elderly are not comfortable doing what I will. The illustration above is from The Telegraph this morning.

This is the problem that all innovation faces. Almost 30 years ago, I drove the introduction of IT across the procedures of School management in a large, Comprehensive school. First we threw out all the typewriters and replaced them with word processors. Next, I introduced the school to the early internet. I had wi-fi installed right across a huge campus and I bought in hand held devices for teachers to do registration in an attempt to catch truants from school and from lessons.

As soon as I could afford it, I bought rooms of computers firstly to teach I.T. and then to do general research, document production, etc. Finally, I spent a long time researching and purchasing intranet software that allowed staff to work seamlessly at home and school and allowing pupils to do the same, allowing parents to monitor, communicate, integrate with the life of the school.

Throughout, I faced opposition from many quarters. Staff lacked the skills and the confidence to acquire them. Pupils and their parents lacked the equipment, the internet and the finance to provide them at home. Everything had to be done as a battle with carrot and stick. Eventually, we got there but far too late for me. So it is in the Health Service. Through I.T., bookings, appointments, prescriptions and Remote Consultations, doctors’ time is freed up.

This is the future forcing its way into the present and we should all leave our minds open to the change that will inevitably come. Don’t get left behind. Don’t celebrate being the out-of-touch old. Celebrate being alive by reaching out to the new, Dear Reader. Retirement can be an increasingly lonely place without embracing the Future.

Tuesday, 14th November, 2023

A very warm morning of rain. Talking to friends around the country, it looks as if the only question is where you decide to drown today, Dear Reader.

I had to brave it because things were needed from Tesco, Asda and Sainsburys this morning. So much is missing from supermarket shelves that this sort of tour is often required especially if you’re a perfectionist like my Housekeeper. I made a complaint out loud to myself when I couldn’t find something I wanted. A couple of women openly laughed in agreement as if the whole scarcity problem has become so accepted that it is a wry joke. Only a reversal of Brexit will ultimately improve supply chains.

One of the more discussable side effects of my radiotherapy is terrible tiredness, crushing, physical tiredness. I have to haul myself through my exercise routine because I do not give up. You might have heard that before, Dear Reader. I do not give up. It is 1.30 pm and I am going in the Gym for a couple of hours. The only way I can face it at the moment is the long-running, MI5 spy drama series I am watching called Spooks. I was a bit daunted to find that it runs to 10 series and 86 episodes but now I’m hooked.

I am becoming a little concerned by these side effects, not least because I’m driving to France in a couple of weeks. I’ve also booked some fairly demanding European trips next year. I may have to review them nearer the end of the year if things haven’t improved. At least I am fully insured although my current condition is costing me quite a bit extra in premium. For many years, our travel insurance has come free and unlimited courtesy of our Bank Account. When we turned 70, we were subject to a £75.00 ‘age extension’ excess each on our Annual premium. Now, I have to pay an additional £195.00 for the magic word, ‘Cancer’. So our ‘free’, Annual Travel Insurance, we will be charged at £345.00.

Well, by 2.00 pm, the sun came out warm and strong and we went out for a walk. Met a couple we see regularly, stopped and chatted. They asked after my treatment and then volunteered the information that the husband was going to Brighton Cancer Centre every day for 5 weeks for radiotherapy on a brain tumour which had affected his peripheral vision and deprived him of his driving licence. Made my problem seem so totally irrelevant.

Wednesday, 15th November, 2023

Lovely, sunny morning. Driving to Town down the beach road and past the Worthing Pier. It was delightful. We were going to Waitrose amongst other places. Warm and sunny but quite blustery, I was in shorts & tee-shirt although quite a few of the old people were dressed for Winter.

The beach path is lifted above the road on one side and above the beach on the other to avoid the problems of High Tide. You can’t really view the sea from the road.

I stopped for a few minutes on the promenade. It’s great to breathe the sea air. You should have come, Dear Reader. We drove on to Waitrose carpark but the news coming through from the Supreme Court about the Rwanda Plan verdict and, knowing that PMQs was coming up, we did a quick shop and drove home.

Pauline is one of the healthiest people I have ever met. She is very fit and takes no medication. Like me, she does like to check her blood pressure each a day and I have created a spreadsheet to record the readings. Yes, I know, I’m an incorrigible Romantic.

To help, I’ve also ordered her a wristband monitor that continually provides blood pressure and heart rate data. She can consider that a supplementary Christmas present.

Thursday, 16th November, 2023

It is pouring with rain this morning. Looked out and thought I was in Wales! I’m not going to be straying very far from the house today. This morning, I am talking to a variety of friends from my Office. Looks like my Friends in the North have better weather.

It’s surprising to me how often people from my past drift across my mind in the early, sleepless hours. I was talking to an old friend yesterday about a lad called Alan who I haven’t seen for more than 50 years. Alan was a mild-mannered, thoughtful and intelligent young Geordie. His party piece was singing Gene Pitney songs, particularly 24hrs from Tulsa which he did on request. I didn’t have much connection with him other than playing football together but I have often thought about him.

My friend, JohnR, was meeting an old student in a pub in North Yorkshire and just happened to say he hadn’t seen Alan, like me, for 51 years. At that very moment, Alan and his wife walked in to the pub for Lunch. I just love such coincidences whether they are engineered or pure happenstance. At the distance of time and geography, we are sharing our retirement and adding a dimension that would otherwise be lost. I learnt this morning that Alan had moved back to live in Ripon, hadn’t done much teaching but had gone into the building trade. I would never have predicted that.

Talked to Julie this morning who is spending her days going to photography clubs, screen printing classes, the gym and swimming pool. Today, she told me she was putting her house on the market and looking for a new one to accommodate her aging mother as well. Kevin is biking and swimming and playing his collection of guitars but has to go for a second operation on the other hand next week so is going to be out of action from his hobbies for a while. JohnR is touring the North of England giving talks on his experiences as a Primary Headteacher and eating curry until it comes out of his ears. I had to tell him, I absolutely hate curry. Give me Mediterranean cooking every time, Dear Reader, please.

There is a chill wind today and my wife insists she’s got absolutely nothing to wear to combat the cold. She needs a ‘Fleece’. When we get to the shop – Mountain Warehouse – no sooner has she found one she likes but there is another just as good. We leave with two after having to hold her down from buying matching hats. Who cares as long as she’s happy. I always tell her that it’s all her money anyway so spend it.

Now, the rain has at last stopped and we are going out to test one. She will be dressed for Winter and I will be dressed for Summer. She will perspire and I will shiver but those are our choices. We continue to march through retirement trying to extract as much enjoyment out of it as we can, enjoying the people around us and connected to us, sharing our lives as vicariously as we can.

Friday, 17th November, 2023

An absolutely wonderful morning of crystal blue skies and strong, low, autumnal sun. There are very few things missing from this morning. Up early and out to the Rustington Butcher’s and the Littlehampton Fishmongers. Skirt of Beef for a Greek Stew and a kilo of locally caught Squid. The freezers are bulging.

Mid-November. You would expect it to be cold, harsh and aggressive. Quite the opposite. It is mild, inviting and delightful.

Took the opportunity to go down to the beach as the tide came in. What a great time with warm air and few people. If only we could invite just the people that we want and exclude the rest.

Although we’ve been dashing around all day, I’ve still got an hour to do in the Gym. Fortunately, I’ve still got more than 60 episodes of my spy thriller to complete so I’m looking forward to it.

I have never been a fan of Monarchy. I have always supported Republicanism. This week, we have an unelected Prime Minister asking an unelected King to make an unelected man a peer so he can become an unelected Foreign Secretary. It is absolutely appalling. Having said that, I found that I really enjoyed the Netflix production of The Crown which has returned to our screens this week. We watched the first two episodes last night. They dealt with divorce and relationship with Dodi Fayed leading to Diana’s death in Paris.

Watched the first two episodes last night. It is our history. I remember as clearly as yesterday coming back from the Greek island of Symi on 31st August 1997. Waking up in Quarry Court, West Yorkshire to the news that she was dead. Had always held out hope that she would engineer the downfall of the monarchy in UK.

Over 25 years ago, we rented a villa on top of the hill to the right and behind the church with the plum coloured dome for a month in August. I was aged 46, very slim in small, white shorts and I ran up the 200+ steps to the property. Where does it all go? I remember waking up on the Monday morning and being shocked to hear on the radio by my bed the news of her death. It was shocking but not shocking. The State had triumphed again.

Saturday, 18th November, 2023

I’ve pre-prepared this, Dear Reader, and I apologise for that. Just didn’t know if I would be near a computer to write it this weekend. A bit busy.

Tomorrow is International Men’s Day. It is something I have advocated for years. I don’t have a problem promoting Women’s issues – well, some women – especially medical ones but I’ve always felt it marginalised men. Nothing could highlight this more than the latest announcement on prostate cancer.

I’ve have had quite a number of tests over the years since I was in my 50s. None had been conclusive although, if my results a couple of years ago had been taken more seriously, I might have caught this cancer earlier. Now a new screening trial is being assessed prior to rolling the process out nationwide. The problem with the blood test is that it throws up so many false positives/negatives as to be almost useless unless they are done often and regularly which would make huge demands on the NHS. Now an annual MRI scan offered to all men in the risk cohort could reduce these concerns and identify problems early. This is the sort of focus a Men’s day can provide.

We men have to start fighting back! Have a lovely day.

Sunday, 5th November, 2023

A gorgeous, gorgeous morning. It is missing something essential but I will sort that out soon. After breakfast, I drove my wife into Worthing Town to buy some items from M&S and go on to Boots.

It is all by the sea so I took the opportunity to walk on the beach. It was quite delightful, as you can see.

Lovely, warm morning so we went down the pier. It was quite busy this morning. Walkers, Fishermen, Tourists, Breakfasters, all enjoying the day. There is a lovely restaurant at the end of the pier which is receiving rave reviews. We might celebrate the end of my treatment with a meal there.

The show at the end of the pier goes on and will do until we die. Our task is to prolong that moment for another 30 years isn’t it Dear Reader? As long as my treatment comes to a positive conclusion, I intend to work hard to get fitter, better, more worthy of life.

My Mother-in-Law worked hard to reach 96. My friend, Julie’s Mother looks full of life at the age of 95. I really want to emulate these people and I wish it for you too, Dear Reader. Let us go forward together!

Neither a borrower nor a lender be …Shakespeare’s Hamlet – Polonius to his departing son, Laertes

In the Elizabethan era, borrowing and usury were probably dirty words. Certainly the treatment of Shylock in The Merchant of Venice suggests that. In the modern world few people get through their lives without borrowing – at least for a house purchase. Speculate to accumulate is the modern mantra.

It is a lovely state to arrive at when we no longer need to borrow anything but can afford to lend to those in need. We feel incredibly lucky to have arrived at that state. And yet, I never carry money. I haven’t written a cheque for years. I don’t know where the nearest bank branch is. We have multiple credit cards provided by our bank and everything is bought with them through our smart phones. The important thing is never fail to pay off the card account at the end of the month because interest rates are ruinous. We have never in the whole of our marriage paid credit card rates. Who would want to borrow at a rate of 18.276%. Pity those who feel they have no other choice.

Monday, 6th November, 2023

Up early for (hopefully) my final week of radiotherapy. I say hopefully because who knows whether it will have worked or not. I will not know until the end of December. Will there be fireworks of celebration? There were on Worthing Pier last night on a crystal clear night.

Just completed Session 17/20. Thank you for your support! This one was a strange one. I was timed for 10.00 am and arrived an hour early as usual to drink a litre of water. Went in and registered and then just sat there for half an hour absolutely bursting for relief.

It turns out, some lunatic had fallen off the scanner bed and injured his leg. He hadn’t realised that, as soon as he got on and lay down, the bed automatically raised and he ended up falling from a great height. He was brought, hobbling, into the waiting room and there was a delay while they mopped up the blood. I was able to hold myself together and avoid flooding the treatment room.

Tuesday, 7th November, 2023

Beautifully sunny day of clear blue sky. Out of my routine this morning. Don’t have to be at the Cancer Centre until 2.00 pm so it feels strange. Didn’t sleep well at all but still up early. It is weird not to be preparing to set off after a month of doing just that.

I always find things like that interesting. Many people hate changes to their routines. I feel quite energised by it. I’m going to cut all the lawns this morning and tidy up the flower beds.

We can get quite tied in to our routines and organisations. They see us through our times. This is especially true in marriage. If you are anything like me, we negotiate and separate functions and then rarely question the responsibilities. So often and even now, they favour men. I am as guilty as any about that but I do like to learn new skills. How to use the microwave, the washing machine, the dishwasher, the second oven. How to make bread, cook steak, filet fish. These are all interesting novelties to learn in the relaxation of retirement.

But it’s the mundane things that we rather take for granted. I love gadgets. I love the way gadgets improve my routines. I am what is known as an early adopter. We have to have the latest gadget first. There are downsides to that. I remember getting a mobile phone 30 years ago when we were living in Yorkshire and suddenly realised we couldn’t get a signal at home. I had to drive a mile away to the nearest mast to make a phone call. Lunacy, I know, but I wasn’t put off. And guess what happened to mobile phones. They became ubiquitous. They added Texting, photography, internet and data transfer. They are our essential companion.

I have been shaving for 50 years. It is one of those morning routines that most men and some women take for granted. It can be irritating – literally. Recently, I bought a new, quite expensive shaver. It has changed my early mornings. It has taught me how to shave properly after all these years.

It was made for me because it has a mobile phone app which links to my shaver and monitors, guides and reviews my shaving each morning. I am rewarded with, You are a shaving Ninja. Which man could ask for more? It has a self cleaning pod of shaving balm which has an automatic routine that takes exactly the right length of time for me to clean my teeth with my electric toothbrush. Don’t you just love electric toothbrushes? I took one to a Greek island to introduce my friend to the concept. He wasn’t immediately convinced. It’s all in the mind. Keep it open to change and the improvement will come, Dear Reader.

Wednesday, 8th November, 2023

Penultimate Radiotherapy session. It had been raining heavily over night. The drive featured lots of standing water hazards. My day has been full of conflicting emotions – elation & sadness. In the waiting room this morning, I met lots of familiar faces on this cancer journey. They knew I hadn’t far to go and were congratulating me as if I had achieved something. I haven’t! I’ve just turned up, taken my pants down and had my body irradiated. That is not the hard bit. Has it worked? That is my concern.

My journey has been around 8 months. In that time, I’ve had hormone injections and a month of Radiotherapy. I won’t go into the side effects because they are unpleasant but I can cope with the physical effects. It is the psychological/emotional side that have been particularly difficult. Fortunately, I have been tirelessly supported by my wife and some friends. They have been so important. Talking to others going on this same journey, I realise that I’m not so unusual but I have been on the verge of tears many times in the past few months.

Met a man in the waiting room this morning who had been on hormone treatment and waiting for radiotherapy for 15 months. Another was tested at PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) 15.0 whereas mine was only 7.5. After hormone treatment he had reduced to PSA = 12.00. I had gone down to 0.35. I am obviously much luckier than many others. What a lovely team of Irish blondes I’ve been treated by!

Drove home via the beach road. Sunbathing would have been nice today ….. if it wasn’t for the driving fine rain. At least it is warm down here. I’ve now got a couple of hours in the Gym. I’m cooking our meal tonight and then have to prepare for my last session. You realise when you’re faced with it that all of this is so much wider than our parochial routine and more important than any game.

Thursday, 9th November, 2023

Beautiful, sunny day with clear, blue sky after torrential rain over night. Quite appropriate because it has finally arrived. Today is my final day of radiotherapy which has gone on for a long, lonely month. The champagne is in the wine-fridge chilling for Lunchtime, a tin of Celebrations is in the car to give to the girls who have seen me through the process. It will all be over by 11.30 am. Perhaps we can get back to real life and start travelling again. I have a lot of people to see.

Two years ago today, long before any inkling of cancer, a time when masks were expected on planes and in public, I was in Athens blithely going about my days of self indulgence and enjoyment. Nice things were happening in my life. Can’t wait to go back.

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;T. S. Elliot – The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

I have a PSA test booked for the week before Christmas prior to meeting my Consultant on December 29th. That will be a big meeting …. for me.

Well, I arrived early for my last session. Sitting in the carpark listening to a political podcast, I received a phone call from inside the building advising me that there would be a delay. A machine had broken down. They would advise me of a new time. The time is crucial because I need to drink a litre of water 40 mins before the treatment. Drink too late and I have to wait. Drink to soon and I’m in agony throughout the treatment. Fortunately, because it was my last one, the girls got me in close to time and everything went alright.

Lots of congratulations from the team of Irish blondes who had looked after me. I gave them a big tin of sweets to thank them for their services. It is strange after a full month of intimate contact that I will probably not see any of them again. That goes against all my instincts. I can’t leave significant people from my life behind. I will always go back if only one more time. And so, I will revisit them if only to say thank you properly.

When I have finished my treatment, I always dash to the toilet to empty an uncomfortable bladder. I did the same today but found myself instantly crashing and weeping at the emotion of the process end. I know that there are those who who will see me as a wimp, self indulgent and soft. I couldn’t care less. I let out a month’s worth of emotions quite easily. As I left for the car, my true friends contacted me wishing me well and safe journey home. The central feeling was anticlimactic.

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.T. S. Elliot – The Hollow Men

Back home, we opened a bottle of champagne and drank it with cheese and biscuits. Now I am writing to thank the girls who supported me through the process. They know me like few others ever will and I will always be grateful to them.

Quite a salutary lesson learned when I arrived back in the waiting room. Two gentlemen waiting – one to go down and one to go home. Both would take the best part of their day for this process. I drove an hour each way in my luxurious car, quietly alone. They waited for hospital transport to pick them up, deliver them, return to collect and take them home again. Lovely people struggling through their days. Me at home long before them drinking champagne and relaxing. In that context, I am a lucky man!

Friday, 10th November, 2023

A new day. Happy Friday, Dear Reader. Life restarts …. and it is a lovely day down at the beach. Everything seems possible. Everything seems infinite. Nothing will be forgotten or let go.

Freedom Day is celebrated with champagne and crisps. What better than Duck & Plum? Actually, as it turns out, many things are better but not these.

Sometimes things are wonderful even if others in the back of my mind are falling into the mists for a while. Nothing is for ever but everything will come to pass when we least expect it ….

The beach was glorious today, bright, warm and infinite. Oh, Dear Reader, I would love to show you my beach. Today it was filled with dreams …. Age comes to us all. Sooner or later we will seek solace in our friends. In the crashing of the waves and the warmth of the sun, we will remember them.

Saturday, 11th November, 2023

A cold night – by far the coldest of the year so far. We went down to 4C/39F. On mornings like this one feels so grateful for a well insulated home. We are not sleeping in a tent on the street or wrapped in newspaper. Can you imagine it? We may have to start putting the heating on soon!

Actually, over Breakfast, I download and read the newspapers – The Times, The Telegraph and The Guardian. When I wrote the phrase, wrapped in newspaper, I immediately thought, I haven’t bought a newspaper for years. I do see the ‘old people’, Brexiteers, shuffling down to the newsagents for their copies of the Daily Express & Daily Mail. Maybe they donate these colour comics to the homeless.

I bought a new case for my iPad which was delivered this morning. It effectively converts the ‘pad’ into a laptop with a keyboard which I can Blog on with ease. It came from Amazon and cost £150.00 which is a small price to pay for the conversion facilities.

While I am reading the newspapers, I am communicating and sharing ideas, cartoons, thoughts and just general chat with friends, relatives and neighbours. This morning I was sharing a conversation with my neighbours on either side – De & Jay and Jill & John – but also with my sister, Cathy, my friends, JohnR, Kevin and Julie and a couple of ex-colleagues from school. Mainly, they were enquiring about my current health after completing the radiotherapy and wishing us a good weekend.

John was spending his Saturday driving a minibus to take elderly and disabled people around the grounds of Fountains Abbey and Studley Royal. He does it most weeks and in the most inclement weather. Today, it was obviously lovely.

Went out for a walk in the sunshine this afternoon for the first time in a while. Lovely and warm, bright and relaxing. I have things to be resolved over the next few weeks, things that keep me awake in the small hours of the morning but this was a respite from thinking them through constantly. I am fighting hard to keep my exercise going. Going to spend an hour in the Gym this evening. I am feeling incredibly lethargic at the moment. I’m restricting my food intake to shed this extra weight I’ve gained through the hormone treatment. Looking forward to feeling ‘normal’ again.