Month: December 2023

Sunday, 24th December, 2023

A dark and dismal day … but incredibly warm. We have been 14C/57F all night. It is the day before Christmas and the time to bring out all the timeworn topics that seem to populate our culture. A programme about mistletoe, holly & ivy and wassailing, the Christian ‘story’, singing carols and about belief. I have to be honest and say, I don’t buy in to any of this.

This morning at 6.00 am, I heard the main reason why I don’t have faith. The central tenet of the philosophical theme this morning: To believe, first you’ve got to want to believe. This is the first principle of the snake oil salesman. Sell them something they want to believe and you will get them eating out of your hand. It is how brainwashing works. You have to get people to suspend their disbelief, their scepticism, their rationality.

Once you’ve done that, almost anything is possible. Virgin birth? No problem. Happens all the time. God made human? They’re talking about me! Water into wine? Have you tasted some supermarket wine? Today’s programme addressed exactly that problem. It addressed it head on. There are two types of truth, it asserted. There is empirical truth like to say, I had Breakfast this morning. But then, there is eternal truth which goes so much deeper and requires …. faith to believe it. And I don’t. So you see, Dear Reader, You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.

A postcard from our village circa 1955, a time when the world was less questioning of Faith and Authority and the connection between the two.

This from 1968 at Grammar School when faith in God and service to Country were still the principle currency even though Wilson was in power with a campaign to harness the white heat of technology. The world was once populated with Beautiful People.

There is a tendency for people, as they get towards the end of their lives to turn (back) to Faith. Like some insurance policy, they begin to hope for a Life after Death. I was particularly proud of my Mother-in-Law who, even though she was 96, didn’t succumb to fairy tales in which to seek comfort. She was a realist and a fighter to the end.

It is gratifying for me to see church attendances plummet, those identifying as Christian fall into the minority and the monarchy under question more than at any other time. The last series of The Crown on Netflix finished with the royal family themselves believing that they would not survive much longer. I’m planning for President Corbyn!

Monday, 25th December, 2023

Happy Christmas to all my readers. I have to admit, I don’t really feel too celebratory this year. Is it age and loss? Who knows. I know Pauline woke up thinking about her Dad who died 62 years ago. Amazing how things are triggered. I just woke up thinking.

Onward and upward. Got the M25 to enjoy this morning. Just about to load the car up with enough food to feed the 5000, wonderfully wrapped presents for the family and the Kitchen General’s instruction sheet.

I will spend the day as dogsbody … so no change there. Just had Christmas greetings from most of the neighbourhood, from lots of family members and friends around the country. All has a sad sense of remoteness, distance, loss.

See you on the other side ….

Lovely drive up to Surrey. Even the M25 was deserted. Chef had done so much preparation and everything that could be prepared in advance had been and packed into boxes and the car’s fridge so, when we arrived, we were greeted with glasses of Buck’s Fizz and bacon sandwiches for breakfast.

M&K are lovely company to be with and envelope us in their family scene for the day. M, looking lovely in her Christmas Onesie, K on his mobile checking his pension scheme, David making Buck’s Fizz and James eating all the sausages and that just leaves C&P to adorn the furniture.

The meal was absolutely the best chef has made in the last 45 Christmases. The menu …

• Mushroom Gratin with Garlic Bread
• Turkey with Sausage-meat & Apricot Stuffing
  Bacon wrapped Sausages
  Roast King Edward Potatoes
  Parsnips roasted in Sherry & Honey
  Green Beans with Garlic
  Herby Baked Carrots
  Cranberry Sauce with Orange & Cinnamon
• Christmas Pudding with Double Cream Custard
  Lemon Cheesecake with Raspberry Glaze
  Tarte aux Pommes with Cream

It was simple but Chef did a magnificent job of organising, sourcing, preparing, cooking and presenting the meal and was roundly applauded. Because I was allowed to drink wine, chef had to drive us home on a dark, wet night. She was tired after that so, to reward her, I opened and poured the champagne as we came down from the day.

Tuesday, 26th December, 2023

Nice bright and warm morning. Actually got up quite late. Don’t know why. Just managed a glass of fresh orange juice and a cup of Yorkshire tea.

Chef never rests. Already the remains of yesterday’s turkey carcass are being put to good use as stock is being made outside in the pressure cooker.

Boxing Day is always a bit of a non-day. Traditionally, we would spend it at the beach. Even in Yorkshire, we would either go to Scarborough/Whitby or across the Pennines to Formby or Fleetwood. Now we visit the beach so regularly, the urge is not quite there today. I’m going in the Gym instead. Before that, I have been trying to decide where to put a present from M&K yesterday which they brought, ironically, from America.

I’ve decided that I’m going to find space for it in the Office next to the sale sign for our Greek House. Seems appropriate.

Before anything else, Lunch is served. I’m having cold Christmas Pudding with cold custard … mmmm.

Wednesday, 27th December, 2023

It’s Wednesday! Strange, I was wondering. Don’t you just hate the break in normality? I do. It was weird having no newspapers on Monday. No political programmes yesterday. What to do today on a Wednesday? Well, my big job today is …. cleaning the Gym. I’m not big on cleaning but you have to help out, don’t you?

For a year or two as a teacher, I used to take Assembly every day. When I started, I would sit at home the night before and think for ever about what subject I could talk on the next morning as I presented some little homily of morality or self-improvement to start the kids’ day. I can clearly remember panicking some nights in the early years because nothing would come to me.

Experience changes everything doesn’t it, Dear Reader? Soon, I became so relaxed that I wouldn’t even think about it until I was in the car driving to school. Later still it would be over a cup of coffee in my Office before school started that I turned my mind to the subject. In the end, it was as I walked up the steps onto the stage from which I delivered the address. The job I did eventually just generated the topic to the point where I had too much to talk about. I really got to enjoy it.

In just the same way, I wondered if I would ever have enough material to maintain a daily Blog. At first, under the strain of work at work, it felt like a struggle which I could only address occasionally. Soon I began to see it as an outlet for the internalisation of life. In Retirement, it has just formed a vehicle for reflection and self management. Rarely do I get up and think about what to write. It just presents itself naturally. Yes, I know, it comes over like that.

Of course, I designed my own Blog with its own Links to please me. If others read it, they have to take it in that spirit. Often people contact me and tell me I should write something like a book or submit articles for a magazine. There are certainly lots of people out there who think they can make money through their Blogs although I’m not sure if they actually do. I think I’m going to have to attract some advertisers. To do that, I’ll have to make it a lot more juicy, salacious, provocative. I’m sure I can do that. The past made present and projected into the future. The Blog of a Time Traveller. Now that sounds like a niche that could be monetised.

Thursday, 28th December, 2023

Beautiful morning – warm and bright. British Gas must think we’re abroad because we’re not using the heating at all. The Cleaner woke me up to announce that Spring Cleaning would start to day. I have decided to hide in the Gym.

Cook is getting very excited. She has always wanted a food dehydrator and often toyed with buying a dedicated one. Now her new pressure cooker / steamer / air fryer / yoghurt maker / grill & roast /dehydrator has opened up so many new possibilities. Last night, fruit slices were dried over 8 hrs and came out like …. dried fruit. Oh, we did have fun!

First thing on the radio at 5.00 am was an item about the weather in Greater Manchester last night. A mini tornado with roofs being torn off houses and trees blown over. Stalybridge was the epicentre apparently. Lots of friends live near and I’ve been contacting some of them this morning. Kevin sent me a picture of how I feel and Little Viv sent me a photo to reassure me she was still alright.

North Yorkshire is cold with floods. My friend, JohnR, posted a video of the floods in Catterick this morning. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it. North Wales & North West England has gales. When M&K were up in Oldham last week, they couldn’t believe how cold it was. Mind you, they were just back from Florida and now they’re off skiing.

As Chef drove me home from Surrey in dark and dashing rain, she had the joy of a warning symbol popping onto the screen with a chime alert. I have to say that I never check anything on the car apart from washer bottle and fuel. Tyres are monitored automatically.

It says a tyre has fallen below optimal pressure. Chef immediately started to worry and was preparing to pull over and get out into the rain to check the tyres. I told her not to even consider it unless the steering felt wrong but to get us home and we would deal with it next day. It didn’t help her confidence but we got home safely. Yesterday, we checked every tyre and found one had lost just 2psi on default. That’s all it takes.

Friday, 29th December, 2023

Big day today. Appointment with the oncologist to get the results of my cancer treatment. Well, it was a big day in my mind at the outset of this process but it has been going on so long and things have happened on the way that I am rather giving up the will to live or that’s how it feels at the moment.

Changing the subject completely, have you heard of The Clash or Black Sabbath. I didn’t know of the first and I’d hazily heard of the second. A girl from Manchester who I knew in a former life and who is going through a very difficult time, contacted me and asked me if I knew how to get in contact with a former colleague. I didn’t but I learned that he had a famous cousin who was the drummer with a Punk band called The Clash and had also played with Black Sabbath for a few years. He had been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

I did some research …. because that is what I do. Nobody escapes if I want them. I contacted the former Clash/Black Sabbath drummer who is now a Chiropractor in Essex. I will hear from him in the next couple of days or I will be phoning.

At 10.00 am I was with the Oncologist. It turned out to be a substitute and she was Sri Lankan but on the South Coast via Manchester and Oldham. She had family in Oldham but had worked at Christies in Manchester.

She was a lovely girl but I found her quite hard to understand. I discovered that my PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) was just 0.29 set against 7.5 prior to the treatment. I also learnt that I would be checked every 6 months throughout my life with PSA tests just as I will be tested every two years with colonoscopies. How lucky am I?

The number of people who have checked in with me since I got my results is quite humbling. It took me an hour to reply to everybody when I got home. Friends, relatives and neighbours showed touching concern and mutual delight. And yet, I have a strange sense of anti-climax. I remember the last day of a school year when the car would be packed ready for travel. We would close school about 1.00 pm. get in the car and drive to Hull Docks. Drive on board the P&O Hull – Zeebrugge ferry and go to our cabin where we would order a drink. Just when you would expect relaxation and anticipation of 6 weeks freedom to kick in, I would be bathed in a wave of anti-climax. Not until the next morning when we drove off into Europe did I feel like life had re-started.

Been a strange day all round. Drove to Sainsburys via the coast to get a snack for a celebration Lunch along with a bottle of Fizz. Bit of a shock at checkout when the bill came out at £263.93. When I checked, it included a slice of Peppered Steak costing £211.11. When I pointed that out to the cashier, she just laughed and said that was happening regularly. She removed the steak item and all was well.

Saturday, 30th December, 2023

Just gone down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky …. We are celebrating our 45th Wedding Anniversary and there is no better way to do it than to walk in the sunshine with the sound of the waves crashing on the pebble beach. Quite astonishing to think it is 45 years since that day and to review everything that has followed from it, the things we have done over that time, the happiness and sadness of that span of time and there has been plenty of both.

On reflection, yesterday was a good day, a releasing day that will allow us to plan to travel, to meet people to revisit past times and forge new friendships with new places. That is what life is ultimately about. This morning I have heard from dozens of ex-pupils, 40 friends and relatives who don’t mention me but say Pauline looks just the same as ever and taken a phone call from my past in North Wales.

David Beasley was widowed 3 years ago and sounded terribly lonely. Now, at the age of 82, he has a new girlfriend and and sounds as if he’s 32! It was delightful to hear him keen to talk about new love for an old girlfriend and the plans he hoped would come to pass. Hope springs eternal just like the sea offers eternity!

To finish the day, we are going to watch a movie – Sheridan Smith in The Castaways and binge on a homemade, seafood pizza from Pauline’s new, pizza oven.

Sunday, 17th December, 2023

A mild, windless but grey day. Looks like we’ve got a dry week ahead. Our electrician is coming round tomorrow to work on our garden lighting so dry weather is important. We have a relatively quiet week ahead although I will be giving pints of blood on Friday from which my PSA and Testosterone levels will be assessed prior to my summary diagnosis at a meeting a week later with the Oncologist.

Of course, there will be lots of trips to Sainsburys and Waitrose this week as Chef ensures everything is ready for her catering experience in Surrey in a week. It seems impossible to go through the doors in the supermarket and emerge without spending £150.00 at least 3 times a week at the moment. How we do it I don’t know. Where we put it I don’t know.

Well, chef wasn’t satisfied with her Christmas cakes so they had to be produced all over again. A ‘trial’ Turkey had to be cooked to produce the perfect stock for sauce on the day. Stuffing had to be ‘trialled’ in order to decide which one would be served on the day. So, I suppose, Christmas is being funded twice this year but, it gives chef pleasure to experiment and get things right so why should I complain.

Someone in our village drew our attention to this local advert which rather puts us to shame in our self-indulgence. How wonderful, though, if you are hard up, to have this opportunity although I would like to see what you get for it. Our ‘trial turkey’ cost £28.00 on its own.

Christmas is always an awkward time when there is no politics to be involved in and I am scabbling around for things to entertain me. In the Gym, I’m only about half way through the Spy Drama series, Spooks. I am absolutely hooked and don’t notice the exercise at all as soon as the drama comes on. In fact, I get so absorbed, I am in danger of falling off the treadmill at times.

In the evenings, we try to watch some things together in the Lounge. Currently, we have two things on the go. On Netflix, we are watching the last series of The Crown. As a republican, I was shocked to find I love this. After all, it is our history and it does rather bring the Royal family’s dirty linen into view. Unfortunately, I was shocked how moved I was in the latest episode and I almost felt sorry for Charles. I must be going gaga!

Actually, it was the drama of any parent with their obnoxious and recalcitrant teenage child. Just a phase to be borne. No one escapes growing up just as none of us escapes growing old … and wrinkly.

If you can get a subscription into Apple TV app on your television if only for a month, one of the best drama series I’ve seen for a long time which is suddenly being raved about all over the media is available. Slow Horses is the most unlikely Spy Thriller starring a scruffy, unkempt, unhygienic Gary Oldman.

It is brilliantly and a little alternatively acted although it takes an episode or two to get really involved. It is well worth the effort. Series Three is just in the process of being released but there are two, earlier and essential series to watch now. I recommend it to you.

You may notice that I am also starting to assemble a list of podcasts on the right hand column of the Blog. They are all political discussions but I find them absorbing to listen to.

Monday, 18th December, 2023

Two workers here this morning – window cleaner and electrician. Windows cleaned for Christmas (What am I saying?) and the garden lighting has shorted after a bout of rain. Looks like some has got in to one of the fifteen junction boxes on the fences. Both lads are really lovely people trying genuinely hard to do a good job. I don’t begrudge them anything they charge me for the work. Actually, our window cleaner has charged us the same fee of £18.00 since we arrived in this house 7 years ago. Little Daryl, the electrician, hasn’t billed us for any of the last three jobs. I think he views himself as an agent of Help the Aged.

I’m really lucky to have lovely, generous friends. They have helped get me through the past year. We are all similar ages. Many of us talk most days – just chit-chat, daily detail, inconsequential stuff but what has come out more than anything else is that so many things affect us all. The ‘freedom’ of Retirement can soon and so easily become the ‘desert’ of freedom from work.

Although I don’t know what the verdict will be at the end of the month, the symptoms of the treatment are suddenly showing signs of improvement. It suddenly dawned on me over the weekend when I read an article about a new drug called Veozah being formally approved to prevent menopausal hot flushes. Typical, I thought after I’ve suffered them for months. Then I suddenly realised, I hadn’t experienced a bad episode for days.

Also, and I hesitate to observe it publicly but, there are hints of my libido returning. When I was tested a couple of months ago, my PSA had fallen from 7.5 to 0.23. My Testosterone level should normally be in the teens but was reduced to 0.89. I will be interested to learn the result in a couple of weeks because my body says it will be getting back to normal.

The electrician told me he didn’t want paying but he would like a couple of bottles of champagne from my wine racks. We wished each other Happy Christmas and he went off singing. Lovely lad – well, he’s 48. He Home-Schools three kids, is renovating a big, old house and is doing music A Level Music at Worthing College in his spare time. You have to admire someone so committed.

Quite a few newsletters arrive in cards at this time of year and it’s always good to catch up. Unfortunately, one shock announced the untimely death of one of Pauline’s Assistants when she managed the School’s Pastoral system. We haven’t seen Trevor who was a couple of years older than us and from Rawtenstall in Lancashire since 2007 although we usually got a card from him each year. Today, we heard that he had died which, at 74, is something of a shock.

Tuesday, 19th December, 2023

Depressingly dark and very wet day. Really gets to me. Need people and and contact to keep me sane. Christmas is a time when the jungle drums of news bring contact with friends across my timeline of life. I don’t let people go however much they want to hide. Yesterday, I wrote about about Trevor, one of Pauline’s workers, who died a couple of weeks ago

If you know me, you will not be surprised that I followed up this news with some research. It is what I do. Nobody’s secrets are safe. Nobody hides for long. Trevor, was borne in 1950 and was almost exactly a year older than me my web information tells me. He hit the local news headlines last year when he went to a football match and collapsed. It was reported in the Lancashire Telegraph.

Trevor had obviously suffered a heart attack in about the safest place – a football ground staffed with medical specialists. I then found this from just over a month later and Trevor, looking extremely ill to those who knew him, was back at the football club.

I shared this information in the jungle of ex-school workers and, in doing so, received lots of interesting and sad news. Julie from Dukinfield told me about her husband, Steve, who is 73 and was an PE teacher in my school and is now in a Dementia Care Home. That change has happened over the past 12 months. Steve had been a Man. Utd apprentice but failed to make the first team and struggled to cope with rejection. I know how he felt. Julie’s Mum is also in Dementia Care and her Daughter-in-Law has been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer of the spine. She is in her mid-30s and has two, small children.

Must admit, I suddenly started to think how lucky I was and how important it is to embrace the ones I love more closely. Hard luck ones I love!

Wednesday, 20th December, 2023

The year is drawing rapidly to a close. As I said yesterday, lives are slowly fading into the West. At 4.00 am this morning, I learnt that the Japanese revere the ornamental Blossom of trees because it reminds them of the transience of human lives.

I often said, I wouldn’t plant a Japanese Flowering Cherry because most of the year it was boringly plain and blossom was so short lived. Now, I understand.

Yesterday the fields were only grey with scattered snow,
And now the longest grass-leaves hardly emerge;
Yet her deep footsteps mark the snow, and go
On towards the pines at the hills’ white verge.

I cannot see her, since the mist’s white scarf
Obscures the dark wood and the dull orange sky;
But she’s waiting, I know, impatient and cold, half
Sobs struggling into her frosty sigh.

Why does she come so promptly, when she must know
That she’s only the nearer to the inevitable farewell;
The hill is steep, on the snow my steps are slow –
Why does she come, when she knows what I have to tell?A Winter’s Tale – D. H. Lawrence

Went down to the Fish Market this morning. The beach was rather cool and unforgiving. The sea had run away and the beach was largely deserted. There is a raw edge in the wind although the temperature has not gone below 10C/50F for three days and nights. Quite remarkable for the last week of December. Beginning to wonder when we will need to put the central heating on.

Out for a walk this afternoon, the breeze is freshening and the 11C feels colder. Walked faster to compensate. Going to finish off in the Gym where it’s a lot warmer.

Thursday, 21st December, 2023

A lovely warm and sunny day. Celebrated by visiting the local tip. The house and garden is heaving a huge sight of relief at ridding themselves of so many items surplus to our requirements – an old sewing machine, an old kitchen bin, a rarely used barbecue, huge boxes in which their replacements arrived, etc..

I love a good clear-out with the potential for starting again. The people who staff our tip are lovely and go out of their way to help. This morning a Romanian girl in Council uniform but with make-up as if she was going out Clubbing leapt up to help me by carrying boxes of stuff to the appropriate bins. Made me feel old, Dear Reader.

When I got home, I found a letter had arrived from the Department for Gastroenterology at Worthing Hospital confirming that they would invite me for a colonoscopy in February. Just shows that if you are prepared to write to people and make a cogent case then the NHS takes you seriously and provides what’s required. I now have the Consultant’s phone number and email and he can’t escape. I will use this link for the next 30 years. I never let go.

As a result of hearing about the sad death of one of our former collegues and the decline into Dementia of another, I have been banging the jungle drums and, already, the network has risen up in support. I have been contacted by wives this morning reporting the waves of support they are being offered and thanking me for raising the news in the community.

Apparently, there is something called Storm Pia hitting the North of England today. The local newspapers featured this in Sheffield and this in Manchester. Flights were being cancelled in Manchester and advice was not to travel.

So often it is the coasts that get high winds. It is nice to be the exception this time. Before using the Gym, I am cleaning it this afternoon while my chef is curing a side of salmon for smoked salmon salad at Christmas – Stage 1 wrapped in coat of salt, sugar and dill, wrapped in cling film and weighted down on a tray in the fridge for 24 hrs. This will removed a lot of moisture from the fish. Meanwhile, my seamstress is turning up 4 pairs of trousers for me. I think I’m shrinking!

Thursday, 22nd December, 2023

After the longest night of the Year, a gorgeous day of blue sky and long, low, sunshine. Had to go to Sainsburys. Mistake! It was very busy. I love people …. but I don’t love them that much.

I had a dear friend who died about 25 years ago. He was a teacher in my school. He taught me so much about the job and about life. Sam was a wonderful human being. He was also an international Rugby League referee. He helped me from the early 1970s when, as his Assistant, I was going through very difficult times. It is something I will never forget. Sam’s wife, Pat, was a P.E. teacher at Bluecoat School. Today I learnt that she is in a Care Home. Sam’s daughter teaches at Hulme Grammar and contacted me this morning.

People are important. Pat is clearly very unwell. I must get up to the North to see her. I have contacted her at the Care Home this morning. Sam would be so proud of his son who trained as an accountant but who I have traced on Linkedin. He has obviously become a business leader. Until recently, he was Chief Exec. of Homeserve.

My friend, Julie, in North Yorkshire, lives alone but is with her family for Christmas and looks so much happier to be with others. She is with her son and daughter-in-Law.

Christmas, as a religious event, means absolutely nothing to me. In fact, the whole thing means very little but, the whole people-thing really gets to me and underlines our timelines, our distance, our value and our loss. It has taught me so much in recent times about how much I need that contact after decades of telling myself that I don’t.

I thought I would place on record for friends to access the young people – now all in their 70s – who were in my College Year. I just regret those who were missing on the day.

Friday, 23rd December, 2023

Why does the world go mad for the sake of a couple of days? I was up exceptionally early – too early to face anything apart from a glass of orange juice. It was so dark outside I had to put the garden lights on. Fortunately, they have been ‘repaired’ by our electrician recently.

Before 7.00 am, I was driving Chef to Sainsburys ‘to beat the crowds’. All the produce for a Christmas meal has to be ‘the freshest possible’. Shiitake mushrooms are on the Starter menu. Anyway, I won’t trouble you with this nonsense other than to say, the shelves were very sparsely stocked – hardly any Lettuces, absolutely no Skimmed Milk. What is the world coming to?

Received a lovely Hamper of produce from a farm shop about 5 minutes away from where we lived in Huddersfield. Bolster Moor Farm Shop was a regular for us 20 years ago and memories of our former life flooded back.

Our lovely next door neighbour, Dee, stopped by as she went out on her walk. She has just flown back from a few days in Germany visiting her parents. It was nice to hear her say that they couldn’t be bothered about Christmas. They aren’t going to do anything special although she would like to spend it in the sunshine in Dubai where her daughter is. I could quite happily join her but my wife will not go to a country where women are considered second class citizens.

I’ve been driving Hondas for almost 40 years. We bought a new, Honda Accord in 1984. It cost £7,500.00. I remember being delighted to have an automatic gearing and air conditioning for the first time although certainly the best thing of all was anti-lock brakes.

We have been buying new, Honda CRVs every couple of years for just over 25 years. Every new model brings new facilities and new procedures. I always start off with the best of intentions when I drive the new car home. I take the 500 page Users Manual into the house and sit down to read it. After 20 mins, I just want to get going and expect the cars accessories and procedures to be intuitive. They are not always and, by the time I am trading the car in, I am getting to grips with some of the least obvious changes.

We’ve had this latest model almost 10 months and I feel quite confident that I know everything about it …. well I did until yesterday when I spotted a a Headlight Symbol with an ‘A’ in it on the dashboard. ‘A’ for Automatic? Well, yes. ‘A’ is for Automatic High Beam – Well, yes – but it is also for Active Cornering Lights.

Apparently, the car’s camera takes the view of on-coming traffic and automatically dips the lights at the correct point but also the lights read the turning of the steering wheel and actively focus the lights on the corner the car is turning into. Well, I didn’t know that.

Sunday, 10th December, 2023

If there is an illustration of my strength to persist, refusal to give in, to not let go, to not be rebuffed, this is it! The Blog is now opening its 16th year. It has surprised me. If you stick with it, Dear Reader, this year will reveal much of past and present, of interest and embarrassment, of pain and pleasure, of sadness and happiness, of loss, betrayal and retribution. What have I got to lose? At the age of nearly 73, there is little to lose. Tell the truth and tell it like it is. This will be the motto informing Year 16 of the Blog.

In that vein, my book, which has been rumbling along in the background, is going to be a dramatised autobiography. I have quite an interesting, romantic, dramatic story to tell. At last, I feel able to tell it openly and explicitly. I am going to spend the next few months working that theme up. It will benefit from history which is my forte. Going back to the 1950s, at last, I feel I have thrown the shackles off enough to take risks with the narrative.

I do spend a large chunk of my time in two places on my own – the Office and the Gym. My Chef/Housekeeper spends her time in the Kitchen, the Utility Room and the Ironing Room. When we analyse it, we spend more time apart than we do together. No wonder she’s so happy!

The conservatory doors have been open a lot recently as Spring has arrived. The song thrushes have delighted us with their shrill songs as they anticipate breeding season. Shrubs are bursting back into flower and bees were optimistically exploring the garden this morning.

Greece and Northern England have been experiencing Winter conditions. Two past lives that seem so far away and yet still so close. Backdrops for a story.

Monday, 11th December, 2023

A beautiful, warm day of blue sky and sunshine. Outside in the garden, chef is making turkey stock to tantalise the local cats and save our house being permeated with the smells for the next week. Well she managed to do one batch and then the pressure cooker, which is about 20 years old, finally stopped performing. We have to collect a new one this afternoon so work can continue.

Well, I thought that would be it. It came with a 10 year warranty. Pauline would be 82 before she needs a new one. Unfortunately, Chef got it home and decided it was rubbish. It’s going back tomorrow and the search is on for a replacement. I’m in the Office, monitoring the Covid Inquiry and writing my Christmas Newsletter which involves reviewing the year of the Blog as an aide memoire.

Lovely Margaret in Marsden, West Yorkshire has sent us Christmas presents – a hamper of wines and cheeses and biscuits from a local farm shop and a book especially for me.

It’s certainly nice to have got rid of him. The colour comic readers have moved on to ‘small boats’ and Nigel Farage in the jungle and other serious, political issues.

Tuesday, 12th December, 2023

So warm today. I’m going to have to go back to shorts. The neighbours are sick of me going out naked anyway. Had to take my wife to the Beauty Clinic first thing. She’s having a ‘Facial’ and not before time.

I am just the chauffeur. Parking is so difficult because the service is so popular. I just don’t understand it. Can you imagine having this done to you, Dear Reader, …. how ever much you might need it!

Fresh from her hydradermie, or whatever they call it nowadays, Chef has chosen a replacement pressure cooker which is going to cost me £250.00!! Let’s hope it is worth it.

Apart from exercise my instructions are to print the Newsletter and print the labels for Christmas Cards. I can’t even write my own name nowadays never mind write Happy Christmas. It is weird but I never use a pen only a keyboard. I am exposed as an idiot immediately I try anything normal.

Chatted to JohnR this morning. He never stops and is constantly doing good works with disparate groups of people around the North of England. At the weekend, he was organising a carol concert at Fountains Abbey and the next day entertaining a disabled member of our College men’s group in Morecambe. He puts me to shame.

A couple of days ago, he was entertaining a couple of old girls from 50 years ago. I don’t know where he gets his energy from.

Well, I’ve hit the jackpot with the latest pressure cooker as I might have hoped from its cost. It is really so much more because it steams, dry roasts, bakes, dehydrates and even makes yoghurt. My chef is positively orgasmic with its facilities. There’s always a way!

Wednesday, 13th December, 2023

Very mild but grey day. Our diaries are completely empty although we didn’t manage to get the Christmas cards completed yesterday so that is the main job. I love doing Christmas cards. Well, that’s not quite true. I love communicating with people and getting things back but I do employ a writer to … write the cards and I do employ a licker to …. lick the envelopes. I employ a stamper to … put the stamps on and give me alcohol to get over the shock of the price of postage.

My job … man’s work is to produce the address labels. I merge a database of names and addresses into two, separate printers. I use a laser printer with label sheets for the majority and a separate label printer for individual ones. Of course, the production process is a thing of beauty as you would expect.

The world is rather bleak at the moment. The shoreline is empty and forbidding. Even the gulls are flying solo. Can you imagine the desperation required to launch out in a rubber dinghy on this sort of day and this sort of sea? Even the Good Samaritan would blanch and yet there are so many, ‘so-called’, Christians screaming, “We’re full!”

Thursday, 14th December, 2023

A grey morning and not warm. We actually went down to 3C/37F. What is happening? At least we didn’t need central heating. If anything, the house is too warm. Got a series of Office jobs to do today and expecting a phone consultation from a Worthing Gastroenterologist. It is almost two years since I had a colonoscopy and the consultant advised me to repeat it after two years.

I copied in my GP and she obviously followed that up because I was walking through Sainsburys on Monday when I received a call to arrange this consultation. I thought it was a scam at first because I am getting so many of those at the moment. There’s nothing worse than being pestered with texts and calls is there? I’ve had so many, I’ve developed quite a hostile response. I was about to launch into one of those when I suddenly joined up the dots and put on my natural charm. Rather than pay for a private procedure, I am going to push for one on the NHS which I’ve paid for already and spend the £2500.00 on something more enjoyable than a camera up the bum!

Chatted to Kevin this morning about how old we are. He’s as obsessed as I am. Julie sent me a homemade card which she said featured the Boat of Garten. I couldn’t see a boat so I had to Google it. Turns out Boat of Garten is a Scottish village. Weird people the Scots!

I am now just two weeks away from hearing the results of my cancer treatment. Getting a little nervous. Perhaps it will mark the end of a chapter and Health Bulletins can be abandoned. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Had a card from my doctor in Yorkshire who bought our house in the delightful conservation area village of Helme. He still lives in Slade House 23 years after we left it but one of his sons has become a doctor and he tells me he is working just a few miles away from us in Hove. Have to look him up. Never know when you might need a doctor.

Looks like I’m £2,500.00 better off tonight. Received a phone call from Gastroenterology to say I could have an NHS colonoscopy in February after all. Really good people.

Friday, 15th December, 2023

People or places? What is important to you? Be surprised if the majority didn’t go for people but I’m always surprised how strongly people express pride in place. I was listening to a discussion on the radio this morning about people’s pride in Great Britain, in the Monarchy, in the Union Jack and in the National Anthem. I take no pride in any of these things. They are complete anathema to me. They are jingoistic symbols. They also betray any understanding of the English language.

Pride is a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements. Nationality and symbols of nationhood are no achievement of mine. If they are an achievement of anything, it would be populist jingoism and insular self-interest. For me, it is people who make the difference even though I love places, different places, exploring places. I will leave the nationalist symbols to the Mail/Express readers of a fading generation.

I have no idea why I live in Worthing. I just turned up here and settled down 7 years ago and I love it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to experience other places. I do but I love being here. I was fascinated to find my preference confirmed in a recent newspaper article which found that Worthing was statistically the best place in UK for longevity. We have more centenarians than anywhere else. I want to live to 100 and I’m staying here … for now.

I was interested and a little surprised to find that the city of Chester had been voted the Most Beautiful in the World ahead of Venice. Chester is lovely and I have nice memories of it but I wouldn’t have thought it would ever challenge somewhere as spectacular as Venice. That would take my vote every time. You would have to go a long way for me to beat Bologna or the gorgeous Lucca.

Maybe I am attracted to the unfamiliar, the sound of a foreign language and the challenge of a foreign culture. Maybe I am too familiar with the stereotypical Elizabethan architecture that begins to look a little too ‘tourist plastic’ to be true.

If I was to choose a photo of Chester, there are many things other than the shopping area that I would go to like the banks of the River Dee. But none of these places mean anything without people and nowhere is more important.

It’s 3.00 pm on a grey, wintry afternoon and I’ve still got my Gym work to do. Going to force myself now … well, after I’ve cleared a backlog of 377 emails. That’s nothing. I had 465 yesterday.

Saturday, 16th December, 2023

A grey and rather damp morning. Finding it hard to motivate myself. Suddenly the post bursts through the letterbox and I jump into life. I open all post, like some demented secretary, whoever it’s addressed to. There is no privacy in our house. I like hearing from people. Before the post arrived, I had contacted 11 friends and family on Whatsapp and another in France on Messenger, one in America on email and one in Lancashire by text.

Before all that, I had chauffeured my Housekeeper to the hairdressers and returned to my Office. Most people contact me almost instantly although some are not quite awake and some don’t know what to say. Some think they need something clever to respond and take there time over it. I just like the back and forth of communication.

That’s why I like Christmas cards. I like sending them around the country and around the world – to America, to Australia, to Greece, France, to Scotland, to Wales, to Ireland and, of course around England.

This morning I heard from Boston, Masachusetts, from my boyhood friend, Jonathan who has lived there since 1971. He is mad keen on boats which is one reason why Boston appealed to him. He tried to get me interested in Sailing. He was entirely unsuccessful, I’m afraid. I nearly sank us just as I did on the River Dee in a row boat with another friend. I also heard from my old Grammar School friend, Jonny, who has lived in Arras, France 1970.

We have exchanged the same card with our friends who have lived in Edinburgh and lectured in Art at the University there since 1976. One of them is retired an the other is still working in 3D design and printing of jewellery. We last saw them when we went up there about 5 years ago.

Christmas is one of those events that links people and places, activities and memories across the years. This morning, with hair newly cut, Housekeeper has been finishing the cakes. She has only made three but the main two are for members of the family.

These cakes will be taken up to Surrey. One will be eaten there and the other may last long enough to make it across the Atlantic to Florida. These Christmas preparations have punctuated my Decembers for the past 45 years.

Sunday, 3rd December, 2023

This week completes my 15th year of posting my daily dribblings. It almost coincides with and shadows my Retirement. Lots of people contact me about it and others just read. It has been criticised as self indulgent, self pitying, sleep-inducing and praised as thoughtful, interesting, and amusing. (You know who you are.) I don’t write it for you. I write it completely for myself. I write it to remember. I write to fill in the gaps when I don’t remember any more. Even so, all are welcome. I will miss you if you leave.

The Blog is a tool to cope with my life’s ups and downs. Writing things down forces me to think it through and come to terms with them. Some people bottle these things up. Some talk about them. I write. In my view it’s better out than in. I have been doing it all my life in one guise or another. I would write letters, Newsletters, a Family website, my own, personal website and then added my Blog. The Blog form was made for people like me. You will know that the word Blog is an amalgam of Web Log.

At the time I was publishing my own websites, I was also developing, publishing and persuading staff to use school websites and intranets. I have spent the last 25 years improving my technical skills in web construction and presentation, learning how to use professional web design software and employing professional technicians to help me. Nowadays, anybody with a little nouse can do it without investing so much time learning the skills.

While I’m writing today, I am listening to a childhood hero of mine – Bob Dylan, the pop poet – who I came to while in Grammar School:

How does it feel, ah how does it feel?
To be on your own, with no direction home
Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone.Bob Dylan – 1965

I tell the world about my problems but I was moved by a friend of mine from North Yorkshire who told me yesterday that he was depressed and lacking joie de vivre. He loves the sunshine and warmth of Spain and goes there many times a year. At home after an operation, he has the misfortune of snow and ice. He thinks he is suffering from SAD syndrome and that can be very debilitating. At least there will be a simple solution to his sadness when he is able to fly away to the sunshine.

Lots of friends around the country have snow and cold this weekend. JohnR was enthusiastically helping to arrange a candlelit carol service at Fountains Abbey in North Yorkshire this weekend. It has had to be cancelled. John Morris in Nottingham has lots of snow and Dave Weatherley in Bolton has snow. Dave Roberts in Rochdale has snow. I must admit, I am delighted to report that, as soon as our heating was fixed, it went so much warmer down here and we are 10C/50F today. If I ever see snow on the Sussex coast, I will be disappointed but be sure you will be the first to hear of it, Dear Reader.

Monday, 4th December, 2023

A depressing day of dark skies and fine, wetting rain. You would love it, Dear Reader. Actually, Lizzie Frainier, The Times Travel Editor chose a sunnier weekend and really loved it. She has written an up beat and enthusiastic article about visiting Worthing.

She was particularly impressed with the new restaurant, Perch on the Pier and the trendy, beachside Crab Shack. Forget wet Wales and come to sunny Worthing!

There is something none of us should be doing and that is putting things off. Time is so precious and current events teach us this every day. In the past week, two, major figures from Left Wing politics have died and both before they reached 80. First, the thoughtful, softly spoken economist, Alistair Darling died of cancer aged only 70.

And then, Glenys Kinnock, former teacher, MEP, Life Peer and wife of Labour Leader, Neil Kinnock died aged 79 after suffering Alzheimer’s for 6 years.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.T.S. Eliot – The Hollow Men – 1925

None of us know. None of us really know what will happen. It can happen instantly or very, very slowly. It can happen now or it can happen long into the future. All we do know is that it will happen. The time to reach out is now. Sometimes it means so much.

Tuesday, 5th December, 2023

Really not sleeping well at the moment and I’m still using the World Service to block out thoughts aggravating my mind. I’m trying desperately to control myself. At 3.30 this morning I was listening to information about a breakthrough treatment for prostate cancer which is being rolled out to NHS clinics across the country.

H.I.F.U. uses high-frequency sound waves to destroy tumours, with much milder side-effects than traditional therapies for more advanced cancers. Just my luck and story of my life.

As the Blog reaches another milestone, I have been thinking about legacy and gravestones and the latest hot topic – Artificial Intelligence which many of us have been using for years without realising – and it’s application to becoming immortal. I’m sure you would be happy for me and my Blog to go on in perpetuity. Oh Yes, you would!

With HereAfter AI, users record answers to interview questions and upload photos while they’re still alive, leaving behind a virtual version of themselves. Grief Tech is part of a larger trend of using technology to cope with loss. The subject records ideas, beliefs, activities, experiences – sounds like a Blog – and then the AI software uses that data to populate its program which bereaved loved ones can then communicate with, interrogate and be consoled by. So, Dear Reader, I am with you for ever!

… Let me take you down ’cause I’m going to …. the beach again. This morning, the sun has definitely got his hat on as we walked on the beach where the River Arun runs into the English Channel.

At least you no longer have to worry about the ongoing existence of the Blog. It will be there for you as long as you are …. there.

Wednesday, 6th December, 2023

A beautiful day outside and we went for a walk in the afternoon but the morning was given to reading, writing, politics, PMQs, Johnson blustering through the Covid Inquiry and Braverman giving her Resignation Speech. Kevin & I had a chat about his new, SAD light which arrived this morning.

My Housekeeper is running through Christmas preparations. Neither of us is particularly committed to the Festival but these things have to be faced. Her responsibility is Catering. She has already produced a Pudding & two Cakes. She is making a series of other Sweets for diners and is planning the Starters in advance. Endless lists are prepared. Huge trips to Sainsburys are planned. There are Christmas card lists to go through and presents to order or search out.

None of these activities are begrudged. None are subject to affordability. The expense is largely irrelevant. We are lucky enough or astute enough to not need to stint ourselves or others.

It is incredible that a large section of the population are condemned to starving to support their families, are condemned to freezing to afford to eat, are condemned to suffering to give their children a Christmas present. I remember when I was Head of an Oldham school, one of my parents came to beg me for help because she had had to break the gas meter to steal the cash inside in order to buy food for her kids at Christmas. Arrested, she was expecting prison and her children in Care. She wanted me to write to the court in mitigation. Why should anyone be put in that position?

In the past couple of days, our bank accounts have received our professional pensions, our state pensions, £500.00 for two Winter Fuel Payments and £20.00 for Christmas Bonuses. We are not inclined to turn down our entitlements but we do see the miserable irony of our bounty set against others poverty. When you read the newspaper reports into poverty, you realise the painful disparity across society.

Thursday, 7th December, 2023

A grey, boringly dull day which is dominated by Medical events. Pauline & I pledged that, when we got old, we would not allow medical matters to dominate our thoughts and actions, that we would take more responsibility for our own health. Well, I’ve smashed that idea this year completely haven’t I. Sorry.

I’ve been testing my INR (blood coagulation) for 14 years since I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation. I do it once a week at home and record it on a spreadsheet. There aren’t many people in the country who can say that. It’s no big deal and I wouldn’t even mention it if there was anything more interesting going on. There is only one event that I really care about at the moment and that will be on December 29th when I will hear how my cancer is developing.

Unfortunately, I am having to take Pauline to Worthing hospital this afternoon because we are concerned that the Covid Booster has reset her heart rhythm. She is having tests to determine what the problem is. For someone who has never had a problem with her blood pressure in her life, this is concerning. I never want to involve you in my problems but I have to write them out.

Life is subject to the guillotine of fate. We never know what is going to happen. That is why we have to act while we can and not wait. I have friends who put off and put off and …. That is fatal. You have to act, risk, try, whatever the outcome.

Do you know who this is? I booked him to come to my school about 30 years ago to speak to a cohort of youngsters about writing. Benjamin Zephaniah was an oral poet, novelist, playwright, children’s writer and reggae artist. He even appeared in ‘Peaky Blinders’. I invited him to come to my school to talk to a group of kids who were ethnically marginalised. He was shy, unassuming and absolutely delightful. It was announced this morning that he had died of a brain tumour which was only diagnosed 7 weeks ago. He was just 65.

You never know what can happen. If you want to, do it now! Never delay because you don’t know what can happen to destroy your plans. Believe me, Dear Reader. Don’t delay. Do it today!

Friday, 8th December, 2023

Lovely, warm and sunny day that feels like Springtime. The birds are singing, bees are buzzing and butterflies are fluttering by in abundance. It really raises the spirits. Did a long walk this morning and everywhere feels as if it is celebrating the season. On that walk through a housing development near the park, I was struck by how the world looked like very early Autumn …. in mid-December! It feels quite liberating.

I get sent news from areas around the country. Yorkshire is suffering dreadful flooding. Manchester had strong rain throughout yesterday evening but had also experienced beautiful night skies of the aurora borealis type. It seems appropriate for Manchester to enjoy the Northern Lights especially in the Northern Quarter with Chanel’s Métiers d’Art show.

Are you sending Christmas Cards this year? Last year we went to America before Christmas and contacted people with a newsletter in October to say we wouldn’t be at home to send cards. There are lots of people on the card list who we haven’t seen for years but with whom I don’t want to lose contact. For quite a while, though, posted cards have seemed very last century. Each year for the past 5 we have debated Digital v Analogue. After a family meeting today, we’ve agreed to send one more year’s cards but to include the message that we will be going digital next year. We will make a contribution to Cancer Research in lieu of cards and postage.

The Post Office will go out of business next year but, for now, don’t forget to run to collect the post when it comes through the door because it will, I promise, include a card from me … at some time. The other thing I guarantee is that it will feature a robin of some sort.

By this time in the afternoon, I announce that I’m going in the Garage/Gym. Yes, the building is designed as a Garage but it is now entirely a Gym / Cooking Area with Freezer / Wine Cellar / Mezanine Storage area. For more than 40 years, I have parked in my garage. This one has not been used as a garage for over 3 years. I suddenly realised that it no longer feels unusual, uncomfortable or difficult. I also realise that I clean the car less because it is always outside and subject to the weather. Anyway, you go in the Garage. I’m going in the Gym.

Saturday, 9th December, 2023

Never give in, Dear Reader. The day started off in heavy rain but is now extremely warm and sunny. A long walk is prescribed but I have spent the morning re-reading a year’s Blog in preparation for writing my Christmas Newsletter. When your memory is as fuzzy as mine, running back over your year is an interesting prospect.

We heard overnight that the Love Story was over. Ryan O’Neal, one of the stars of the 1970 film had died aged 82. He had …. prostate cancer and was diagnosed at the age of 72. Oh, Hell! Oh well. That’s me warned.

Unlike me, the rest of the world seems to be looking forward to, preparing for, Christmas. My old friend, JohnR, was performing with the Folk Group he started almost 50 years ago to reflect where he lived and spent his life.

Our street is starting to acquire the festivity that the residents seem to enjoy. I just keep my head down and let it pass. Actually, we are having roast turkey for Supper tonight. The chef bought one yesterday to produce stock for the Christmas gravy. Nothing is left to chance in this house!